


There'll Be Days Like These

by Imogen_LeFay



Series: I'll Be There For You [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: Blaine Anderson & Cooper Anderson Friendship, Cooper Anderson & Sebastian Smythe Friendship, Future Fic, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 52,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26235730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imogen_LeFay/pseuds/Imogen_LeFay
Summary: A new beginning always starts at the end...After leaving his life in New York behind, Blaine is so ready for a fresh start - under the LA sun, with Cooper in his corner, and Sebastian by his side. But the problem with baggage is, it comes with you, and letting go is sometimes easier said than done.As if building a new life wasn’t complicated enough, navigating his feelings for Sebastian while going through a divorce, without crashing and burning might prove to be the most delicate endeavor of all.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe
Series: I'll Be There For You [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1471394
Comments: 235
Kudos: 184





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, my lovelies! It's been a while since I promised the third part in this series. I knew there'd be a part three, but I had this one big knot in my mind when it came to it. Fortunately, a while ago I managed to solve it, so I started to plan, I started writing, and well, here we are.
> 
> UPDATE: Now with gorgeous title graphic by the lovely @seblaineaddict on tumblr.com!

* * *

When he woke from a surprisingly restful sleep, it took Sebastian a few moments until his mind caught up with reality again. He could tell even through closed eyelids that the sun had risen, already shining bright into the apartment. There was a warm body covering his, soft breath fanning over the skin of his chest.

It was enough to remind him of what happened.

Blaine was in Los Angeles, at last. And hell, if he hadn’t managed to surprise Sebastian again.

There was something warm bubbling inside him, and it took his still sleepy mind a bit too long to nip that thought in the bud. Like he was going to start getting emotional now…

Instead, he opened his eyes and allowed himself just a moment to take in the sight.

Blaine’s head was resting on his chest, eyes closed under unfairly long, dark lashes, his hair a complete and glorious mess, the bare skin of his back covered halfway by the sheets. The expression on his face looked completely peaceful.

Honestly, he had not expected yesterday to go the way it had. He wasn’t surprised that Blaine was in a weird mood when he’d arrived, dripping with melancholia. A new beginning was always the end of something else, and while Sebastian never really understood Blaine’s attachment to Kurt Hummel of all people, he was well aware of how deep it had run. Letting go of that to start a new life… well, it had to be a big step. He had half expected that Blaine would call everything off at the last minute.

But Blaine had come, finally ready to leave New York and all of its misery behind. He’d been tired, maybe still uncertain, flailing for anything to ground him. Sebastian tried to tell himself that it had been just that, he’d just been the closest thing to an anchor Blaine had available. But when he closed his eyes again, he remembered the way Blaine had looked at him, had kissed him, and pulled him close. Of course, it was more than just that. Blaine hadn’t needed anyone. He’d needed Sebastian.

Like he could have denied Blaine anything. Besides, it wasn’t exactly a sacrifice, showing Blaine all that he’d been missing, and maybe give an encore after dinner. He’d probably be up for a third round, but Blaine was dead weight on his chest, utterly exhausted from the flight, maybe the last week in New York, or maybe even the last four years.

Slowly, he let his hands wander over the warm skin of Blaine’s back, dipping just a bit under the sheets.

If his teenage self could see this. Blaine Anderson, finally in his bed. Well, most likely he would have said something pretty assholeish, that present day Sebastian would have to punch him for.

Well, who’d have thought, apparently even he’d matured a bit. And he honestly had to admit that… this was nice. Waking up like this, with someone so close, wasn’t exactly something Sebastian was used to. He’d always made sure that there was an exit strategy with his hook-ups, and even in the short time he’d lived with Jackson there hadn’t been a lot of… well, he could balk from the word, but it was still cuddling.

This, though… This was something else. Nice, really, and not just on a physical level, but to have Blaine close, to know that he trusted Sebastian enough to be this vulnerable around him…

Okay, if his teenage self was here, he’d probably _get punched_ for turning into such a sap. He definitely needed some coffee. Slowly, and oh so carefully, he extricated himself from under Blaine, making sure not to wake him. He put on his pants, and still careful not to make a noise, walked out of the room and over to the kitchen area. He reached out his hand, only to find that the French press wasn’t in its usual place. He frowned and started looking when he heard it.

Someone cleared their throat.

Slowly, Sebastian turned around. In the armchair, there was Cooper Anderson, watching him with an expression that was half strict and half amused. Somehow, just seeing him made Sebastian’s heart drop. Shit. This couldn’t be good.

“Good morning, Sebastian.” Cooper sounded completely calm, but also as if he was reciting a line. “Why don’t you have a seat?”

Sebastian walked closer, dread slowly rising up inside him. This was ridiculous. Why the hell would he be afraid of Cooper? He didn’t make a threatening elder brother in the best of circumstances, and besides, it wasn’t exactly his business who Sebastian slept with. He’d never cared before.

Of course, before it hadn’t been about Cooper’s brother.

“Sit,” Cooper repeated, pointing to the sofa. “Coffee?”

Sebastian stared first at him, then at the French press standing on the table in front of two cups of still steaming coffee.

“How the hell…” he muttered, as he sat down.

“I’m a master of timing,” Cooper replied. “So, I assume everything went okay, picking up Blaine from the airport?”

Sebastian’s eyebrows rose up. “You… could say that.”

“And I assume you made him feel… right at home?” Cooper asked, grinning at him.

Sebastian gritted his teeth. Why exactly did he feel like being scolded by a teacher? Or like he was just caught in the act by a conquest’s disapproving father?

“We managed to entertain ourselves,” he eventually managed to grit out.

Cooper snorted. “I bet you did,” he said. “Now, what exactly are your intentions towards my baby brother?”

Sebastian froze, staring at him. There was a moment of silence, the tension between them thick enough to cut it – and then, Cooper was laughing, shaking his head.

“Oh my god, will you relax? You’re not in trouble. I’m kidding, okay? Although this is awesome practice for future roles. Far in the future when I’m stuck with father roles instead of romantic leads. Come on. Have some coffee. It’s not poisoned, I promise.”

Sebastian had reached out for the cup already, and just flinched back for a second at the last sentence.

“Well… you’ve got that role down,” he said as he took a sip of the coffee. Miraculously, it was actually good.

“And that’s why you’re my best friend,” Cooper said. “But seriously, you and Blaine? We should probably talk about that.”

Sebastian frowned. “What’s there to talk?”

Cooper sighed, and for a moment he seemed actually serious. “Look, Sebastian, first of all, I’m on your side. I’ve been Team Sebastian from the beginning. Well, at least since I met you. And I’m actually a cool big brother, so if Blaine wants to get laid, I’ll be his wingman anytime. We’re all adults here, no problem.”

“You kind of make it sound like there is a problem, though,” Sebastian said carefully.

Cooper rolled his eyes. “ _Of course,_ there is a problem. Come on, think about it. It’s been like a _week_ since Blaine left the guy he’s been _obsessed_ with since high school. Do you really think he’s in any way ready to start something new?”

Sebastian’s mouth fell open, but he closed it immediately. He honestly hadn’t thought that far. But as painful as it was to admit it – Cooper was right. He couldn’t even think how messed up Blaine had to be right now. For a moment he thought back to his own breakup last year. It had been a mess, of course, and his head had not been in the best place. Sure, that had mostly been because of his own, personal issues, but he knew better than most that Blaine carried a host of his own demons with him. Coming fresh from this break, he had to be vulnerable as hell right now.

Great, for years he’d hoped Blaine would come to Los Angeles, and now he hadn’t even been here for twenty-four hours and already Sebastian was screwing it up.

“Look, I know it’s not actually my business what you two do together,” Cooper said, “but… he’s my kid brother, and you’re my best friend. I really don’t want this to blow up in your faces. So, can you try to be smart about this? Please? Give him some space, and some time, to figure out his life and what he wants. And hey, if you two end up together once he’s got his life back on track – and do whatever you want to do somewhere I can’t see it – then all the better.”

Sebastian sighed. “I do care about him,” he said. “And as much as it pains me to say so, you probably have a point. I really don’t want to hurt him…”

To his surprise, Cooper snorted into his coffee. “Really? _That_ ’s what you’re worried about? Cute…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sebastian asked, frowning.

“Honestly, I’m more worried about your heart in this,” Cooper said. “But hey, whatever helps you sleep at night.”

Before Sebastian could come up with any comeback, Cooper looked up sharply as the door behind them opened. Sebastian turned to see Blaine walk out, only in a pair of sweatpants, still tired, and very clearly unaware of the bruise over his hipbone. Cooper turned his head, raising an eyebrow at Sebastian in mocking admiration. He was lucky that Sebastian felt already too bad to throw his coffee at him.

“Cooper? I thought you’d be back later,” Blaine said as he walked closer.

To his credit, Cooper actually got to his feet to greet his brother with a hug.

“You finally move in, of course I don’t let you wait that long,” Cooper said. “So… how are you holding up.”

Sebastian was not holding his breath for an answer, but either way he felt relief when Blaine chuckled softly.

“I’ll be okay,” he said. “It’s… a lot. But I think this is the right decision.”

“It is,” Cooper said. “Trust me, squirt, when you look back in a year, you’ll realize this has been the best decision in your life.”

Blaine didn’t look quite convinced, but he smiled. It looked genuine. And as if he’d felt Sebastian’s eyes on him, he turned just a bit. A blush appeared on his face and he looked down quickly. Sebastian bit his lip, not quite sure whether he should feel ashamed or elated.

Thank god for Cooper and his rambling, a never-ending source of distraction.

“Have you thought about what you’re going to do next?” he asked as he walked to the kitchen area and returned with a cup filled to almost a third with milk. He poured some coffee and pushed the cup into Blaine’s hand. “Because just saying, we’re always looking for a monster of the week on Ripper, you could make a pretty good warlock. Commercials are also always a good idea to start, although I’m afraid you don’t have quite the smile for a credit commercial…”

Blaine stared at him, clearly a bit overwhelmed, and then decided to let his brother drone on and focus on the coffee instead. He shot Sebastian another look, but this was something he was more familiar with. Exasperation, and fondness, and all those other things Cooper brought out in people.

“Anyway, the thing I want you to remember is, there is no pressure,” Cooper said eventually, apparently at the end of his rambling. “You’re here, this is a safe space, and I want you to take whatever time you need to figure your life out. A new start. That is the whole point.”

“Thank you,” Blaine said, his smile genuinely touched. “I just… I hope it’ll work out.”

“Of course, it will,” Cooper said. “You’re going to take the city by storm.”

Blaine smiled and looked back to Sebastian. “Do you think so too?”

Sebastian looked at him, those warm eyes shining with concern, but behind that some form of wild hope. He grinned, and suddenly, this felt like the easiest thing in the world.

“Los Angeles won’t know what hit it.”


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I don't know what even happened here, I have like a million things to do including a thesis to write, and what am I doing? Ah well, let's go with it while it lasts, the next writer's block is coming soon enough.  
> So, basically, I will not keep up this uploading speed, but here we go, let's get back into Blaine's mess of a head! 
> 
> (Also please not that I'm not a lawyer; I did do a short stint at a (non-US) law school, but my legal knowledge is extremely limited, so please forgive irregularities in legal aspects, as they're mostly just a side point within the plot.)

* * *

Allie’s fingers flew over the keys, not quite fast enough, but hitting every note almost perfectly. Already, it was a big improvement to last week. When she finished, she looked up, her eyes sparkling with expectations.

“Great work,” Blaine said, smiling at her. “You’ve really put a lot of work into this, haven’t you?”

“Totally, Mr. A!”

When she laughed, Blaine raised his hand for a high five.

“Can we try it again?” Allie asked.

With a sigh, Blaine looked over to the clock. “I’m afraid our time for today is over. But I want you to keep practicing this piece. I think you can manage just a bit faster without losing precision. So that’s something I want you to work on. Then I’d say we’re going over the Canon again, and also, look into For Elise – just the first part for now. I’ll mark it in your sheet music…” He took the booklet and a pencil, as Ms. Williams walked in.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

“Allie’s doing really well,” he said.

“You’re the first piano tutor who says that,” Ms. Williams said with a shrug. “Then again, you’re the first she doesn’t hate.”

“They were all awful,” Allie muttered, all the outrage of a twelve-year-old concentrated into her tiny figure.

“Well, I actually enjoy working with her,” Blaine said.

Ms. Williams smiled, as she pushed the envelope with his weekly payment into his hand. “And we’re glad to have you. See you again next week?”

“Definitely,” Blaine said. “And don’t forget to practice, Allie.”

Stepping out into the LA sun was still something he wasn’t quite used to. Even in June, it was warmer than what he was used to. It had been a month so far, and slowly he started to feel like he’d arrived. He knew his way around at least parts of the city, could mostly figure out the bus system, and was arranging himself with living with his brother again. Strangely enough, it went a lot smoother than it had back in Ohio. Honestly, living with Cooper was… fun.

They both had of course gotten a lot more mature since growing up, but Blaine was surprised just how much Cooper had mellowed out. With their contact mostly on the phone, combined with few visits in between, he hadn’t realized just how much more mature Cooper had gotten. More than anything, he was invested in making Blaine feel at home and safe at his place.

And slowly, he was feeling it. Sure, he was still taking baby steps. On some days he actually felt like he’d regressed, like he was a student again during summer break. He had his weekly piano lessons with Allie, and twice a week he played in a charming little cocktail lounge one of Sebastian’s friends had found. Blaine had even started looking for roles. The theater scene in Los Angeles was not quite what he’d gotten used to in New York, but as if to make up for that, the film scene was ridiculous. Thousands of offers – but unfortunately, thousands of hopeful actors fighting over them.

He’d been to a handful of auditions in the last weeks, but so far nothing had come from it. He told himself it was okay, that he had just arrived, and he had time. He reminded himself that this was the normal experience, that so far in New York he’d just been ridiculously lucky. Of course, he would hit a bump in the road at some point.

Another little voice at the back of his head wondered if he just wasn’t good enough for Los Angeles, but he managed to silence that very quickly – for a while, at least.

He took out his phone to check the bus schedule. His eyes lit up when he saw a new mail. Well, apparently, he’d at least left an impression on one of his auditions. A callback for Grease. Danny Zuko.

He bit his lip, trying not to be discouraged by the mere concept of the role. But he’d refused it once, he definitely wouldn’t do it again.

It was about time that something went right.

As if on cue, his phone started ringing. It was a call from Bev Montgomery, and just for a moment Blaine felt a lump in his throat. This was still not something he was used to, having a divorce lawyer, even if it was at least some relief that with Wes’ sister he at least was dealing with someone familiar.

“Hello, Blaine, I hope this isn’t an inconvenient time?” she asked.

“I just finished a piano lesson, I’m free to talk,” Blaine replied. “How are things in New York?”

“Oh, you know, same old,” Bev said, “but as you can imagine I’m not calling you for small talk. Your soon to be ex-husband has hired a lawyer, and we’ve had our first conversation. To summarize a very tedious meeting, most points aren’t contested. But there is one thing that’s going to be a problem – your inheritance.”

Blaine froze. He had been so sure his divorce would be taken care of by Bev, that it would go down without a problem. He wouldn’t have thought that money would be an issue, although maybe he should have seen it coming. On Sebastian’s advice, he’d opened a new, personal bank account even before leaving New York and made sure to secure his own money, and then spent days updating all his financial information. It had been stressful, but at least he’d thought that would take care of that aspect… Apparently not.

“That money was my grandmother’s, and she left it to _me_ , not us. Besides, I transferred it into my account. The money is safe,” Blaine said.

Bev sighed, and he could picture her shaking her head. “Not how that works, I’m afraid. If this goes before a judge and he rules that Kurt is entitled to half of it, you’ll have to pay him that amount.”

“Is that going to happen?” Blaine asked.

“Unfortunately, there’s a chance,” Bev replied. “Technically, an inheritance that occurs during the marriage to one spouse isn’t added to the marital assets. Things get a bit more complicated if the money is in a joint account.”

Blaine paled. He hadn’t thought of divorce back then. He hadn’t been paranoid enough to keep it separate from the rest of their money.

“But we agreed that this money wasn’t to be used until I decided what I want to do with it. It was still mine,” Blaine said.

“And if we could prove that, I wouldn’t be worried. But that won’t be possible, will it?” Bev asked.

“I…” Blaine stopped, then sighed. “Probably not, no. So, what do I do now?”

“Well, we’re not at the end of the rope,” Bev said, “we’re just starting. It will take time to figure everything out. Of course, I’ll try to get the best results for you – unless you’re willing to give up half of the money to speed up the divorce proceedings.”

Blaine closed his eyes. He thought of Nonna, of their last conversation. She had known he wasn’t happy, had somehow been able to tell that the life he was leading back then wasn’t going anywhere. _Live in a place with no walls, with a husband who doesn’t talk to you…_ The money was supposed to give him a future, if he ever figured out what that meant for him. She had wanted to take care of her grandson.

“No,” he said, “I’m not giving up yet.”

“I thought so,” Bev said. “Alright, I’ll contact you if there are any new developments.”

When the conversation ended, Blaine stared at his phone. He closed his eyes, suppressing a sigh. So much for a clean cut… But maybe that had been naïve, expecting that everything would be taken care of as if by magic. Of course, it wouldn’t be that easy. What ever was? Still, it was just one more reminder that his life was more of a mess than he’d hoped.

It would be okay, he told himself. It had to be.

Somehow.

* * *

When Blaine returned to the apartment, Cooper was standing on the couch table, reciting what sounded like a Shakespearean monologue. Only after a few seconds did he notice that those were the lyrics to Part Of Your World, but he had to admit Cooper made it sound pretty epic. Somehow, he even managed not to knock over the coffee cups standing on the table. Sebastian was lounging on the sofa, busy with his phone, and barely paying attention to Cooper’s antics apart from the occasional hum.

Blaine walked closer, staring at the scene. When he came to the sofa, Sebastian pulled back his ridiculously long legs enough for Blaine to sit down, looking up from his phone with a lop-sided grin, his eyes slowly gliding down his form. It was a move that Blaine had gotten used to, but only in the last weeks he started to find it unnerving.

It was dumb, of course. Sebastian had been great these last few weeks. He was encouraging about the auditions, and basically any other plan Blaine came up with. He listened when Blaine needed to talk, and actually managed to adapt the amount of sarcastic commentary perfectly to how emotional or upset Blaine was. Really, he was being an amazing friend, and Blaine was insanely grateful to have him. And if he thought about it rationally, he knew that this was what he needed right now.

But they slept together, and then… nothing. They hadn’t even talked about it. And okay, maybe he should have started that conversation himself, but he had no idea how. What was he even supposed to say? That he wanted something to happen, but his head and heart were a complete mess right now?

And fine, it wasn’t like nothing had changed. There was more looking, and definitely more touches – mostly short, innocent, but still more present. It was nice, but it all added up to a very confusing picture.

“Part of that world!!!” Cooper shouted, before turning around and looking down to them expectantly. Only then did he notice Blaine’s presence. “Oh, hey! When did you come back?”

“Somewhere around _Ready To Stand_ ,” Sebastian said, before finally putting away his phone.

“Who were you texting?” Blaine asked, nodding towards Sebastian’s phone. There was just a twinge of jealousy and he hoped it wasn’t too obvious.

“My sister,” Sebastian said, rolling his eyes. “Boyfriend trouble, _again_. No idea why she’s asking me for advice, I always tell her to dump them. …then again, maybe that’s exactly why she’s asking me…”

“Were you not paying attention?” Cooper asked, his whole body exuding outrage.

“I never am,” Sebastian said. “So… are we doing this now, or do you have to butcher Under The Sea first?”

“Doing what?” Blaine asked.

“You’ve got mail,” Sebastian said, his voice a perfectly bored drawl, “and Cooper was very insistent you need some moral support to read it.”

“Is it from Bev? Because she already called me,” Blaine said.

“Something serious?” Cooper asked, looking down at him with a slight frown.

“We’ll see,” Blaine said, waving it away. “But seriously, who is it from?”

Cooper and Sebastian exchanged a look, then Sebastian pulled an envelope from under the couch pillows and pushed it into Blaine’s hand. It was heavy, made of some shimmering golden paper. As sender, it said, “Miss Rachel Barbra Berry & Mr. Jesse St. James”.

Blaine’s eyes widened as he opened it, even though he could already tell what it was. After all, he’d received a very similar envelope several weeks ago. Back then, it hadn’t been addressed to him alone. Of course, after initiating divorce, he’d just assumed that meant his invitation to Rachel’s wedding was revoked, especially since Kurt was her best man. While she hadn’t explicitly told him he wasn’t welcome, it had seemed like common sense to make that assumption.

And here it was, a brand-new wedding invitation, explicitly for him.

Maybe he’d never understand Rachel, but he felt touched just at the thought that she might actually want him to be there, despite everything. Sure, when it came down to it, she would choose Kurt over him, he had finally understood this fact. But it was still a nice feeling that she wouldn’t drop him completely.

“So… are you okay?” Cooper asked, looking down at him with wide eyes that were probably meant to be sincere.

“Why wouldn’t I be? It’s an invitation. That’s not a bad thing,” Blaine said.

“Are you going?” Sebastian asked.

When their eyes met, Blaine noticed there was something sharp in his friend’s gaze. And suddenly it made sense, that Sebastian was here – not worried how Blaine would react to the invitation, but possibly about what he was going to do about it.

“I… don’t know yet,” he said. “I should call Rachel, I just really want to make sure she actually wants me there.”

“She explicitly sent you an invitation,” Cooper said, “I think that’s a pretty strong hint to what she wants.”

“I’d still feel better,” Blaine said. “I’ll call her tomorrow after my callback, maybe then I can-“

“Callback?” Cooper interrupted. “What callback? The razor commercial?”

“Uh… no. I auditioned for Grease,” Blaine said.

Cooper jumped from the table to pull him into a hug. “That’s amazing, you’ll kill it! Just don’t forget not to focus too much on your scene partner and you’ll be gold!”

Blaine laughed, returning the hug. “Thanks, Coop. I’ll try to remember.” He turned to Sebastian, who was looking up at him with what he was pretty sure was pride shining from his eyes.

“Danny Zuko?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Blaine nodded, suddenly feeling shy for some reason. “It seemed… on topic.”

Sebastian frowned slightly, and Blaine suddenly remembered they hadn’t been talking back then – their senior year, right after his first breakup with Kurt, when he’d withdrawn into himself to the point that just thinking about love had made him burst into tears in front of the casting crew…

“Well, I’ll mourn your hair,” Sebastian said with an overdone sigh. “But for once I agree with Cooper. You’re perfect for the role.”

Blaine smiled, ducking his head as he felt the blush rise on his cheeks. “It’s just a callback,” he said, trying to downplay expectations. “And the first one I got since I moved here. So… let’s just see what happens, okay?”

“They’d be crazy not to take you,” Sebastian said.

And well, with that level of conviction… it was kind of hard to doubt him. Despite Bev’s call, and every doubt, and every insecurity, just for once, Blaine allowed himself to be hopeful.

Yes, maybe this would work out.

* * *

He had planned to push back talking to Rachel until after the callback. There was always a chance that the conversation would leave him upset and he didn’t need anything messing up his energy. It had been a solid strategy.

In theory.

Once he closed the apartment door behind him, Blaine sank against it and allowed himself just a moment to feel sorry for himself. It hadn’t exactly been one of his best auditions. Sure, “Sandy” had gone over well, and he’d used more hair gel than he had in a long time to really look the part.

It was just really hard not to compare his current situation with the last time he’d auditioned for Grease. For the second time, he was recovering from a breakup. And sure, there were worlds between the situations. Back then, he’d felt guilty, miserable, even as on some level he had hoped to fix it while knowing he wouldn’t. He’d hated himself, hadn’t been able to see any point of light. Looking back, it seemed so overdramatic, but back then he had been sure he’d completely wrecked his whole life.

Now, in a way, he had done exactly that, but he wasn’t anywhere near that devastated. Kurt had been an essential part of his life for so long that it still felt strange sometimes to wake up and realize that it was over. And sure, the break this time was also his “fault”, but he didn’t feel guilty about it. Their marriage hadn’t brought either of them happiness in a long time, and he knew ending it had been the right decision – the only healthy one he really could make.

It just felt strange. His whole life had changed, and so fast, that it still sometimes scared him. Sometimes, he even missed it. He hadn’t been happy, and he’d been tired, and his life had felt… cramped. But there had been something comforting in the familiarity.

Now, he felt like floating.

Maybe this wasn’t the best mindset to do a callback on a play that he had such strong memories tied to. Or maybe he just wasn’t quite enough to compete in Los Angeles with its models and aspiring movie actors. Compared to some of the other people at the callback, he felt uneasy. Most of them were noticeably taller than him, several looked like they lived at the gym, and none of them looked half as uncomfortable as he felt about the way one of the casting directors checked all of them out in a way that wasn’t nearly subtle enough – or maybe it was never intended to be.

It may not have been a total disaster, but he didn’t expect to hear back from them again.

But hey, maybe if his mood was this low already, it couldn’t fall much lower no matter how his conversation with Rachel went. He moved over towards the sofa and fell down on it, dragging his phone from his pocket.

It only took a few rings until Rachel picked up.

“Well, if it isn’t Blaine Warbler! Where did you fly off to?” Her voice sounded bright and happy, and Blaine felt a sudden surge of longing.

“Hey Rachel,” he said. “How’s everything in New York?”

“Honestly, I’m so tied up in wedding preparations, I probably wouldn’t notice if the city was flooded right now,” Rachel said. “I didn’t know it would be this stressful. And even if you ignore all the wedding preparations, there’s so much to do about Jesse’s new show. Can you imagine, we even have to put off the honeymoon. We won’t go till September… Still, though, Jesse has been just amazing through it all. It’s sometimes like we’re the same person, like we have the same ideas. I’m really looking forward to it.” She stopped just for a moment, maybe just to breathe, before she continued. “Speaking of the wedding…”

“I, uh… got your invitation,” Blaine said. “It was in the mail yesterday. I guess I just wanted to check if… Well, if it’s really such a good idea to come.”

“What do you mean?” Rachel asked. “Of course, it’s a good idea! Everyone will be there!”

Blaine bit his lip. “Yeah, that’s… kind of my point,” he said. “Everyone will be there… including your best man that I’m currently divorcing…”

There was a longer pause, that she eventually broke with a sigh. “Look, Blaine… Kurt is my best friend, and you know that I loved you two together. But… well, I’m not completely blind. I know you’ve been unhappy. I actually talked to him about how you’re unhappy. So… well, I’m not super thrilled about how everything went down, or the timing of it all, but… sometimes relationships don’t work out. And that’s sad, and I’m really sorry for you guys. But, you’re my friend too, and you’re important to me, and I _want_ you at my wedding. I talked to Kurt, he knows I invited you, and I figured maybe if you two just keep your distance it could be okay? Besides, there are a lot of other people coming. I invited all of New Directions, and most of them have RSVP’d yes. Even Mr. Schue is coming. Do you really want to miss that?”

Blaine sighed. “I… don’t,” he admitted. “I just don’t want to cause any drama.”

Rachel snorted. “It’s a New Directions wedding, of course there will be drama.”

He found himself laughing despite the day he’d had. “That is a good point,” he said. “Okay, sure. If it’s really okay with you, then I’d love to come to your wedding.”

She literally squealed, and even though it slightly made his ears ring, it was proof enough that she’d been sincere. He was actually beginning to look forward to it. Sure, seeing Kurt might be awkward. But he’d get to talk to Sam, see Tina, catch up with Brittany and Santana… he would manage to be civil, and maybe this could actually be a good experience. Besides, New Directions were famous for breaking up with each other all the time, so why on earth should his divorce be an exception?

“Um… there’s just one thing,” Rachel said, and he noticed her tone shifting, like she was just a bit uncomfortable right now. “Could you not bring Sebastian?”

“Uh…” Blaine blinked, not sure how to answer that.

“Because… Look, I’m not judging, I get that you’re going to move on with your life, and if that includes a relationship with a former rival glee club member who used your connection to get a leg up against New Directions before coming to regret that decision and changing his ways, then hey, I’m the last person who gets to throw a stone. But your separation is really fresh, and Kurt is my best man, and I don’t want to hurt him. It’s probably going to be a bit tough on him to see you, it would be worse if he had to see you with the person you left him for.”

Blaine sighed, shaking his head. “Sebastian and I are not dating,” he said. “I’m not seeing anyone right now, I’m trying to figure out my life. And me leaving Kurt has nothing to do with Sebastian. That was all about our marriage, and how it wasn’t working in a long time.”

“Oh,” she said. “Um… so you weren’t planning on bringing him?”

Blaine shook his head in exasperation, as if she could actually see him. “No, Rachel, I’m not bringing my _friend_ who has no connection to you or your fiancé, and who I’m very aware is kind of a red flag to a lot of your other guests. Do you really have to ask that?”

She sighed. “I… no, I probably shouldn’t have. I’m sorry, I just… I really want you there, and I really want it to not be a mess.”

“I get it,” Blaine said. “Sorry, I’m just… it’s all a bit complicated, isn’t it?”

She chuckled. “It is,” she agreed. She sighed, and he could just imagine her, sitting on a couch somewhere, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger. “I’ll be so happy when the wedding is over,” she admitted. “So much stress… but it’ll be worth it. I can’t wait to be married.” She stopped herself. “I… I’m sorry, that was insensitive.”

Blaine laughed. “It really wasn’t. You’re allowed to be thrilled about your wedding. Seriously, I’m happy for you, I love how excited you are. And, just because my marriage didn’t work out doesn’t mean I don’t believe in the concept anymore. And you and Jesse… you’re going to be amazing. Never forget that.”

Another pause, and when she spoke, she clearly sounded touched. “Thank you, Blaine. I can’t wait to see you.”

“You too, Rachel,” he said. “Can’t wait.”


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s time for a wedding! Okay, let’s get into the warnings.  
> Now, if you like Kurt – what are you still doing here? Jk, but let’s just say this chapter is not him on his best behavior. There will be growth in the future, but rn everything is still pretty raw for him.  
> Further warnings for this chapter: criminal lack of Sebastian and Cooper; what happens when you don’t talk about Crap Part 1; and of course Blaine has read Dune.

* * *

Settled between his friends, Blaine’s nerves were slowly starting to subside. He would have to lie if he said he hadn’t felt a bit uncertain about coming despite his conversation with Rachel. But his doubts were calmed very fast once he’d arrived at the venue and immediately ran into Sam and his girlfriend, Jess. Tina and Artie joined them as they walked in, and there was a moment of awkwardness – the both of them had been on a trip when Blaine left New York, so this was the first time they met face to face since then – but Tina just hugged him, telling him to take care of himself.

As they found seats close to the back to accommodate Artie, they got their opportunity to catch up on anything – Artie talking about the two short films he just finished shooting, Tina about the article she just published, and Sam about putting his newly earned teaching degree to use at McKinley. When Blaine looked around, he noticed a lot of other familiar faces – Quinn and Puck came in arm and arm, and looking very happy, Mike was whispering something to a girl Blaine hadn’t seen before, he caught Mercedes eye, who watched him with an eyebrow raised, but smiling. The Schuesters were sitting further to the front, talking to Sue Sylvester of all people… It was almost like a New Directions reunion – well, at least the old New Directions. He was honestly a bit disappointed that none of the younger members were to be seen anywhere. He’d have thought Kitty at least would be invited… The more he looked, the more he noticed people he didn’t know, maybe old members of Vocal Adrenaline or people the both of them worked with. It was to be expected, though. It would probably be a bit sad if all their guest were their former glee club members…

Tina was giving a running commentary, apparently well aware of what was going on with every single member of the New Directions, even the ones who weren’t here right now. It was impressive, and just a little bit spooky. But just after finishing the story of Sugar rushing in and out of an engagement before running off to Shanghai, she turned to Blaine.

“Of course, there’s the one story everybody’s really interested in,” she said with a wink, “what is going on with you and Sebastian Smythe? I must say, I’m kind of surprised he didn’t come with you. Or was he worried Santana would manage to somehow get her hands on a slushie and throw it in his face?”

Blaine sighed, shaking his head. “Okay, I don’t think even Santana would go this far at a wedding, not to mention I doubt she still holds that grudge. And why does everybody just assume I’m with Sebastian? Is that what Kurt is saying?”

“I mean, it’s not that far-fetched, right?” Artie said. “You’ve been in contact for years, and then from one day to the next you leave Kurt and move to Los Angeles with Sebastian… you can’t really blame him for making that connection.”

Blaine groaned. “It’s not like that,” he said. “And I moved in with my brother, Kurt is just being paranoid. Sebastian and I are not dating.”

“See?” Sam asked, looking around triumphantly. “I _told_ you guys. They’re just friends.”

“And you’re sure he’s not still trying to get to you?” Tina asked skeptically.

“Oh, no, he totally is,” Sam said.

Blaine shook his head. So much for loyalty… “It’s not like that,” he said.

Sam looked at him incredulously. “Dude, he’s paying your divorce lawyer, I’m telling you, it _is_ like that. I mean, no judgement, but… come on.”

Blaine gave Sam an exasperated look. “That’s… complicated,” he said. He really didn’t want to go into the details of the “insurance” Sebastian had promised all those years ago. “And anyway, it doesn’t matter. I just left Kurt. Even if it _was_ like that, I’m so not ready.” If anything, his inability to talk to Sebastian about when they’d slept together was proof of that.

Thank god Sam knew better than to bring that up in company, especially around Tina – although right now, she was looking at him thoughtfully. “I’m just saying… I doubt I’ll ever be his biggest fan, but you have to do what makes you happy. And you know, it’s totally up to you when you feel ready to move on. It’s not like there’s a firm timeline you have to follow, right?” she said. “Besides, if Kurt can move on, then you should, too.”

Blaine froze, just for a moment. “Wait, what?”

Before she could answer, the doors opened, and slowly, Jesse walked down the aisle in the company of a tall, dark-haired woman that Blaine recognized as Rachel’s birth mother, and took his place at the front. In three pairs, the bridal party walked in afterwards. Blaine had to avert his eyes just for a moment when Kurt entered, tall and fierce in his ice blue suit, at the side of but not actually touching Jesse’s co-producer Robb, wearing a midnight suit like the other groomsmen that matched Jesse’s bowtie. They were friends of Jesse that Blaine didn’t know very well, walking with Brittany and Santana respectively. Once they’d all taken their places, the music changed to the bridal chorus and everyone turned to see Rachel’s entrance – all in white, flanked by her fathers, her eyes shining full of happiness.

Blaine sat back, watching the ceremony. Around him, he noticed the different reactions. Tina was already close to tears. Sam was stealing glances at his girlfriend, and she pretended they were subtle. He could catch a glimpse of Quinn and Puck, holding hands and sharing a private smile. Brittany and Santana were standing at the front, their pinky fingers hooked and smiling at each other… He tried not to look at Kurt, see how a wedding affected him while he was going through a divorce.

He didn’t even know how to feel himself. He was happy for Rachel, and had no doubt that she and Jesse could make it work. Back then, he’d been sure they would make it to. And well, Brittany and Santana were clearly still going strong…

Maybe it was impossible not to feel nostalgic, wonder where or when everything had gone wrong. But he knew it was better this way. If he wanted to find happiness, there was no point in trying the same thing over and over again, like it could suddenly work. He tried to push the thoughts aside, and to focus on Rachel and Jesse, reciting their vows.

Sam patted his shoulder, throwing him a concerned look.

Blaine shrugged, and offered a weak smile in return. Of course, today would be nostalgic. But maybe this was a good move – healthy, even. He could do this, would permit it to pass over him and through him, and when it was gone, only he would remain.

Or something along those lines.

As Jesse and Rachel were declared husband and wife, and kissed each other to wide applause before Jesse turned around and stepped on a glass for some reason, he pushed the nostalgia aside and just focused on the presence, on Rachel’s beaming smile.

And honestly, he felt happy.

* * *

The atmosphere at the reception was definitely more relaxed. Everyone seemed ridiculously happy to be here, and there was an insane buzz just with all the different reunions. He lost sight of Sam too fast when he was talked up by Brittany and drawn into what seemed a surprisingly easy conversation with her and Santana. Blaine was about to at least stand by in case his support was needed when someone tapped his shoulder.

“Well, if it isn’t the deserter.”

Blaine turned, and he smiled when he saw Robb in front of him.

“Hey! How’ve you been?”

“Pretty good, actually,” Robb said. “And let me tell you, you’re missing out on one hell of a show.”

Blaine opened his mouth, half ready to defend himself, but Robb waved him off.

“Relax, I get it. Sometimes you just need a fresh start. You do you, but if you’re ever back in New York make sure to look me up. Working with you was definitely better than what I’ve got to deal with right now. So, what about you? Already breaking into LA’s musical scene?”

Blaine sighed. It was one of the moments when he wished he wasn’t so damn transparent. “Honestly, so far it hasn’t exactly been going my way. I’ve been to some castings, but the most I got was one callback that didn’t go anywhere.”

“It’s tough,” Robb said, “and yeah, LA is definitely a different scene from New York. Are you looking into movies as well?”

Blaine nodded. “I’ve had an audition for a TV show the other day, just a bit character, playing in the background at a cocktail lounge – which, you know, I’m actually doing at the moment. But so far, I haven’t heard back from them, and I guess that tells me all I need to know.”

“It’s been what, a month?” Robb asked.

“Two,” Blaine corrected.

Robb shrugged. “Sometimes it takes time,” he said. “And timing, even more important. Also, luck.”

“I’m aware,” Blaine said, with a sigh. “But hey, my brother is being really great. So that’s good.”

Robb’s smile froze just a bit, but it was all the warning Blaine needed. Of course. Like he hadn’t known this was coming. He allowed himself a second to steel himself and conjure up a smile that he hoped landed somewhere between genuine and civil, before he turned around.

“Kurt,” he said, and damn if his voice didn’t even waver the slightest bit. “You look well.”

It was true. The ice blue of his suit and the brocade vest underneath brought out brighter hues in his eyes, and his whole posture screamed independence. For a second, Blaine felt hopeful. Wouldn’t that be the best outcome, both of them walking away from this with their heads held high and comfortable with themselves?

“Blaine. So nice of you to come for Rachel’s sake.” Even as Kurt said it, his eyes were darting around, just on the wrong side of subtle, as if he was looking for something. Or rather, someone. The small flicker of hope extinguished immediately. Kurt was already being defensive, and didn’t he know that posture well enough?

It was only then that he noticed that Kurt wasn’t alone – beside him and just one step back was another man, a bit shorter with a mop of blond hair and thick-rimmed glasses.

Kurt’s eyes tightened, just the tiniest gap in his perfect mask, before he followed Blaine’s gaze. “Oh, you haven’t met yet, have you?” he asked.

Blaine remembered Tina’s remark from before the ceremony. Oh. So that was what she had been talking about. He forced down that queasy feeling in his stomach, and with his next exhale he found that picture perfect show face smile again.

“I don’t think we have,” he said, holding out his hand for Kurt’s date to take. “Hi, I’m Blaine.” He figured any further description would make things even more awkward.

The guy took his hand, his grip limp in a way that Blaine’s country club upbringing judged despite his better knowledge.

“So nice to meet you, I’m Chandler.”

Something about that rang a bell, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Still, he felt just a bit uneasy. Maybe someone from the Dorian Gray production?

“This is Robb, he’s working with Jesse,” Blaine introduced the other man, when he noticed Chandler looking at him questioningly.

“So, you two are-“

“No!” Robb spoke basically the same second Blaine did, and both ended up chuckling. “We used to work together,” Robb added.

“Sorry,” Chandler said, blushing and looking down. “That was weird, I’m sorry. And here I am trying to be on my best behavior to impress Kurt’s friends…”

Blaine nodded. “That’s nice,” he said, “but, um… I should really check on Sam before Santana murders him.”

“Santana is the scary one, right?” Chandler asked, clearly not noticing how awkward the situation was – or maybe that was just his futile attempt at defusing it. “Honestly, I’m like _so_ over the moon to finally get a second chance here, I really don’t want to blow it at my first shot.”

Blaine froze, and that bell started ringing louder. “What do you mean, second chance?”

“Oh, well, this is actually like a sweet story,” Chandler said, “see, I actually met Kurt ages ago, back when we were both still in high school, when New York was only a romantic dream. Let’s say we had a few very intense conversations, although well, he wasn’t… quite available yet, and unfortunately, we lost sight of each other. But now, just a few years down the line, we got in touch again, and here I am.”

Blaine’s eyes shot to Kurt, and for a moment he felt something bitter wash over him. It felt an awful lot like betrayal.

Chandler. Senior year, the texts, the flirting… Oh, he remembered.

Blaine would have expected Kurt to look a bit uncomfortable, or maybe guilty, but if he felt that way, it was well hidden under a mask of defiance, with just a hint of a challenge.

“Lovely,” Blaine said, hanging on to “civil” with his last nerve. “Now, if you’ll excuse me?” He turned away with a nod to Robb and made a beeline to the open bar. His hands were shaking just a bit when he ordered a shot of Courvoisier, as if that could give him some of the safety Sebastian did. He took a too large gulp, almost coughing as the liquid burnt down his throat.

“Well, someone’s having fun.”

He turned his head, to find Mercedes had joined him. She looked absolutely gorgeous, but the impression was marred by the way she looked at him, slightly mocking, her eyebrow still raised in a perfect arch.

“Hi, Mercedes,” he said, not sure what exactly she wanted from him. He definitely wasn’t sure why she’d look at him so… critically.

“Don’t you hi me, Blaine Warbler,” she said as she sat down beside him.

He looked at her in confusion and tried not to seem too obviously hurt. Yes, fine, they weren’t exactly the closest of friends, and sure, she was Kurt’s friend, too, but they had lived together for a while and he thought there was at least some connection there. Then why was she looking at him as if he’d done something wrong? Worse, like he ought to know exactly what she was annoyed about?

“Two months,” Mercedes said. “And I had to hear that from Sam of all people. Two months you’re living in Los Angeles and you didn’t think of calling me?”

“Uh…” It took him a moment too long to recognize the playfulness underneath the severity and realized she wasn’t actually annoyed with him. “Yeah, um… I’d say I was busy, but the truth is, it’s still all a bit of a mess.”

She sighed, and her expression softened noticeably. “I can only imagine,” she said. “That must be pretty tough, to separate after so many years. How are you holding up?”

“I’m…” He stopped, surprised at the question. He hadn’t heard it in a while, hadn’t really expected to hear it here. Really, why should anybody ask him that? He was the one who initiated the divorce, it had been his decision. It would be logical if everyone rallied around Kurt. Then again, this were the New Directions. With all the breakups that had happened every other week in the choir room, everyone had probably learned a long time ago to just stay neutral.

“I’m getting there,” he said eventually, and smiled at her. “But thank you.” He took another sip from his glass, this one more careful, and let the smooth liquid slowly burn down his throat. “I thought I was pretty okay with things, but…” He turned, easily locating Kurt. He was standing a bit aside, Chandler animatedly chatting up the bridal couple. Jesse’s eyebrows were raised so far, they almost disappeared under his hairline, but Blaine found a little bit satisfaction that Rachel looked almost angry.

Mercedes followed his gaze. “I didn’t expect Kurt to move on this fast,” she said.

“Oh, well, it’s not fast,” Blaine said, surprised at the bitterness in his own voice, as he turned back to his drink, “after all, they’ve basically known each other since high school. It’s just a rekindling. A _second chance_.”

Mercedes frowned. “Wait, what do you mean since high school?” she asked. “I don’t remember Kurt seeing anyone else in high school…”

“They were texting,” Blaine said, shaking his head. “It was stupid…”

She frowned, then her eyes widened. “Wait, didn’t you have this fight? When was it…? One of our theme weeks, right?”

“Whitney Houston,” Blaine said. “We fought, we made up, and Kurt went no contact. It doesn’t matter anyway.”

“So, wait, if they weren’t in contact, why does he show up here now?” Mercedes asked.

“Well, I doubt Kurt ran into him on a complete coincidence,” Blaine said.

Mercedes stared at him. “Seriously? Damn… that’s low…”

“Tell me about it,” Blaine said.

Mercedes looked for a moment like she wanted to say something, then she noticed something behind Blaine and started to beam.

“Congratulations, girl! You were absolutely fabulous!”

Blaine turned, even as Mercedes walked past him to pull Rachel into a hug. The girls embraced for a moment, then Rachel turned towards him. He kissed her cheek before pulling her into a hug.

“Hey Rachel,” he said, trying to push down his own emotional turmoil. “Congratulations.”

She pulled back, and to his surprise her face was full of contrition. “Blaine, I am _so_ sorry, I swear, I had no idea about this! When we talked, I really didn’t know that Kurt was planning to bring a date. I mean, he wasn’t seeing anyone, we even talked about it, when I told him that I still invited you. And he was so upset, that’s why I asked you not to bring Sebastian, but I swear if I had known that Kurt would bring someone, I wouldn’t have asked that of you. I just thought it might be too much, or too soon, and-“

“Do you know who that is?” Blaine asked.

Rachel’s face fell even further. “I know,” she said, “I’m _sorry_! He kind of sprang it on me. I just want you to know, I did not plan for this. And I even told him that you were coming alone, but I think he didn’t believe me…”

“It’s fine,” Blaine said. It wasn’t, not really, but it wasn’t her fault and he didn’t want her to focus on anything but her day. He’d manage to swallow his anger, and if he really tried, he could ignore both Kurt and Chandler for the rest of the night. “Don’t worry about me.”

She looked at him still slightly doubtful, but then Jesse came up by her side. “Hey guys, everything okay?” he asked.

“Everything’s fine,” Blaine said, “and congratulations.”

“Thank you,” Jesse said. “And honestly, it’s about high time… I swear, one more week of wedding preparation and I would have killed someone.”

“Possibly ourselves,” Rachel added.

“But somehow, we made it!” Jesse put a kiss to the top of Rachel’s head, and she almost swooned.

Blaine smiled as he watched them, and he caught Mercedes’ eye. Maybe his poker face wasn’t as good as he thought, because she once more gave him that thoughtful, almost pitying look. He shrugged it off though.

Bittersweet was fine. And he was pretty sure that with some wine, he would get through the reception without a problem.

He could so do this.

* * *

The dinner and the speeches had been a lot more harmonious than the beginning of the reception. The tone had varied – some heartfelt, some more amusing, and somehow Santana had managed to deliver her speech both heartfelt and as a roast. Once dinner was done, they had revealed a stage, and instead of opening with a first dance, Rachel and Jesse had delivered a first duet.

It was sweet, if a little bit melodramatic, and from then on, both the dance floor and the karaoke stage had been opened. A few rounds (and maybe one or two glasses of wine) later, Blaine had found himself on the stage with Sam and Tina, before he excused himself to the restrooms.

Before he returned to the party, he took a moment to look at himself in the mirror. Fine so far, even if his hair had gotten a bit messier than expected. That was fine, though. Despite his mixed feelings about today, he was actually enjoying himself.

As he walked back outside, he wondered if he should find Mercedes and ask her for a duet – they might count as the LA crew now, so it could be a good start for that. He stopped mid thought as he stepped into the corridor and found himself, once more, in front of Kurt.

To his credit, his ex looked just as surprised as he felt himself for a second, their run-in probably a coincidence. Still, he found himself once more tense.

“Hey,” Kurt said.

“Hey,” Blaine replied, looking around for a second. “Where is your date?” It sounded almost polite, and he was damn proud of it.

“He had to take a call, work-related,” Kurt answered. “He’s a-“

“I don’t actually care,” Blaine said.

“Look, I have very right to bring a plus one,” Kurt began. “There’s no reason for you to read anything into it.”

“Reading anything into it?” Blaine repeated. “Oh, come on. Am I honestly supposed to buy this? You haven’t been in contact with him for years but then reconnect just in time to parade him around here?”

Kurt glared at him. “You filed for divorce, Blaine. You don’t get to judge me on my dating choices, or anything else for that matter. I’m allowed to move on.”

“You are, and I wish you would, instead of dragging out this whole process,” Blaine said, “but don’t act like you didn’t bring him here specifically because you thought it would hurt me.”

“I know this will come as a surprise, but the world doesn’t actually revolve around you,” Kurt bit back, but it was just a bit too vicious to be sincere.

“This is hilarious,” Blaine said, although his voice sounded too bitter for that. “Does he know why he’s here? Or what kind of mess you dragged him into?”

“As far as I’m concerned, there is no mess! Just a sweet guy, who actually makes me feel good and special, but of course I realize that must be hard for you to see, considering your new boyfriend doesn’t even care enough to show up.”

Blaine groaned. “Will you stop it? I wouldn’t have brought Sebastian here, even if we were dating. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Kurt had already opened his mouth to speak, but now he stopped, looking at Blaine wide-eyed, as if he just didn’t understand. For just a moment, he seemed vulnerable, and Blaine hoped that he just might get through to him.

“I really thought you would bring him,” Kurt said finally. “I wasn’t even surprised when you went to LA – maybe a bit at how _fast_ you were out of the door… but I guess that’s how it’s been. When things weren’t working out, you could always turn around and there he was… The backup boyfriend, all ready to go…”

Blaine sighed, shaking his head. “This again?” he asked, not even trying to keep the exasperation out of his voice. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Why are you still lying to me?” Kurt sounded more angry than hurt. “Can’t you at least be honest with me now?”

“I _am_ honest with you,” Blaine replied. “Why would I lie about that?”

Kurt stared at him – and then, something in his face changed. “Wait… you’re serious? So… you leave me for _him_ of all people, and then you’re not even _with_ him?”

“What? I didn’t leave you for Sebastian. Did you a listen to a _word_ I said to you?” Blaine asked. “Kurt, we were a mess. We were unhappy. We haven’t been on the same page in forever. Our divorce has _nothing_ to do with Sebastian!”

“All he ever wanted was to take you away from me,” Kurt said – really, as if he hadn’t been listening at all. “And you… you let him. And what now, Blaine? Now that he got what he wanted… where is he?” He stopped, shaking his head. “That’s what it’s always been about, isn’t it? And you still refuse to see it, because god forbid you misjudged him. He doesn’t care, Blaine. He got what he wanted from you, probably took a… _victory lap_ , for good measure, and now he’s lost interest…”

Something cold rushed through Blaine, like someone had injected ice into his veins. It wasn’t true, of course. It could not be true. Sebastian cared more about him than that, he _knew_ that. But the words snaked their way through his ears, right into his heart. No matter how he tried to steel himself against them, reminded himself that Kurt had always hated Sebastian, never understood him… that Sebastian hadn’t abandoned him, that he was still there, still supportive, and warm, just… not interested…

What if that’s what it came down to? That Sebastian considered sleeping with him just something to check off his to do list, and now he was done pursuing him, only interested in keeping their friendship…?

He could see the triumph in Kurt’s eyes, and he wished with every part of his being, that he had never come here. But he would not let him win.

“You don’t know Sebastian,” he gritted out lowly. “You never understood him. You don’t understand me, either. I didn’t leave you because of him. That was all you, Kurt. And sure, I shouldn’t expect you to get a perspective after two months when you didn’t get one in the four years we were married. But honestly, I did expect better from you than… this. Certainly better than finding this guy back from high school, that you by the way never even apologized for…”

“Like you apologized for Sebastian?”

And now he had enough. “I will _never_ apologize for Sebastian,” he said. “And you can go to hell.”

He turned to walk away, only to find Chandler standing there. He looked between the two of them, before his eyes landed on Kurt. Blaine wasn’t sure how much he heard, but from the hurt expression on his face, probably enough.

“Wait… he’s your ex? Is… is that why you called me after all these years? Am I just here to… rub salt in the wound?”

Kurt stared at him, suddenly looking guilty. Blaine didn’t even feel satisfaction over it. Instead, he kept walking, ignoring Kurt’s voice as he tried to justify himself. Without looking back, he looked over the crowd until he found Sam, sitting on a table with the rest of the former New Directions minus the bridal couple that was currently in a discussion with the Schuesters and Sue. Blaine sat down beside Sam, who shot him one look, then pushed his glass closer. Blaine accepted it and took a gulp. Whiskey, he thought, and great, now even that reminded him of Sebastian.

“Everything okay?” Sam asked.

Blaine sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he said.

“No, but let’s talk about that,” Santana said, looking behind him. Blaine turned around to see Chandler walking briskly, not quite storming away. Kurt followed him a bit but stopped once he reached the reception hall. “What’s _that_ about?”

“Who cares?” Blaine asked.

Santana sighed, rolling her eyes. “Damn, I’d have thought you’d be at least a little more fun by now.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Blaine asked, although he regretted the question before he’d finished it.

“Just saying, with the way he brags about it, you’d think Feivel knew what he was doing.”

Blaine looked at her, and he just felt… exhausted. He was tired of this, of having to justify himself all the time for Sebastian, and also of trying to figure out what it all meant. He let his eyes slide shut just for a moment, and hoped to just let whatever remark she had slide over him. When none came, he looked at her again.

Just for a moment, her gaze softened, then she rolled her eyes and smirked.

“Come on,” she said, pushing her glass of what looked like margarita in front of him. “Auntie Snixx got you covered.”

He really had to look miserable if Santana was taking pity on him. But really, right now, he’d take it.

“Thanks,” he said.

“Never ever mention it again,” she said. “Now, Fabray, wanna tell us what’s up with that ring-shaped necklace you’re trying to hide under that dress?"

With the attention shifting away from him, Blaine sank back into his chair. Just get through the reception, he told himself. Forget about Kurt, and Sebastian, and anything. As he took another sip from Santana’s drink, he tried to focus just on that.

Get through the reception. Get through the night. He could do that.

Probably.


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we've let the hamsters run around in Blaine's head for long enough, don't you think?  
> Maybe that's a problem, I sometimes just can't drag out the angst. Sure, Blaine has enough issues to feed a whole fic, but he'd really like to move forward.  
> Still, this is the chapter where I wrote a line that upset me so much, I had to stop writing. Overdramatic? Maybe. Sign that I shouldn't write after a Gin Tonic? ...heck, no.  
> Anyway, have some angst and comfort, and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> (on another note, save me from my brain. It goes "I have such a cute, fun one-shot idea! ...and you could write a sequel to it, that's kind of random! And another one that's super angsty! Also, that side plot that needs its angsty resolution. In conclusion: Write this chaptered fic!" - don't worry though, that's on the backburner until this one is finished)

* * *

Strangely enough, there hadn’t been further drama at the reception. Somehow, Santana had provided him with the perfect mixture of margaritas and glasses of water that the whole night was fun, but he didn’t wake up with a horrible hangover.

A regular one, sure, but nothing a bit of Tylenol couldn’t fix. If only everything else had been as easy.

But here he was, in a scenario familiar enough that Blaine thought it would bring him at least some level of comfort. Once more, he’d arrived at the airport, his thoughts in turmoil and his heart a mess, his eyes scanning the crowd until they fell on Sebastian’s lanky form. Their eyes met, but for once, Blaine’s heart sank even further at this. Still, his feet were moving before he noticed, walking closer until he felt Sebastian’s arm around him.

“That bad?” Sebastian asked, his voice warm and soft. It should be grounding, but instead, Blaine felt just as lost as he had during the flight. Maybe he should have just taken something to sleep, but instead he’d spent the last hours trying not to think too much about words he’d rather forget.

“Well, I guess the biggest surprise would be if your old glee club didn’t have drama at a wedding,” Sebastian said. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

“The wedding was fine,” Blaine said. “Mostly. And hey, at least this time the bride even showed up… And, you know, no surprise extra weddings.”

“Also, not a barn, I assume,” Sebastian said.

“Yeah,” Blaine said, “thank god, no barn.” He wasn’t quite sure why it came out so bitter. His wedding was not something he wanted to discuss with Sebastian, but then again, he had been the one to allude to it in the first place.

Sebastian frowned slightly and gave him a sideway look but didn’t comment further. Apparently, he too had noticed Blaine’s strange mood. Usually, it was calming how easy Sebastian could see through him. Now, he couldn’t help but wonder if his friend just had a giant blind spot or ignored certain aspects on purpose.

It was only when they were in the car and left the airport behind them that Sebastian asked the question that Blaine figured had been burning under his tongue.

“So… how was seeing your ex?” There was just the slightest bit of hesitation, as if he stopped himself from using the name. He was also looking straight to the traffic, not even glancing in Blaine’s direction. It could probably be seen as uncaring, but this was… effort. More like he cared too much.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Blaine said, also looking out of the window.

Hesitation, and then… “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Blaine replied, “I just… don’t want to talk about it.”

“Oookay…”

Blaine closed his eyes, just waiting for another question to follow, but it didn’t come. He started regretting this request after only a minute. Being alone with his thoughts on the plane had been bad enough. But having this whole mess keep running through his head, Kurt’s words like a slow, acidic poison burning through his memories as he tried to refute them, with Sebastian right there, deliberately not looking at him…

Well, it was worse.

It was ridiculous. He knew Kurt had been wrong, had never really understood Sebastian or how deep their connection ran. Blaine refused to believe that Sebastian’s only interest in him was out of competition, to win him like some trophy from a rival. After all, he was the one who actually talked to and spent time with Sebastian, not his ex. Blaine was pretty sure that if he had been single from the beginning, Sebastian would have still pursued him, and also not paid Kurt a second of attention. If Sebastian only cared about Blaine as a warm body, he wouldn’t have been there for him again and again, wouldn’t have listened to all his insecurities and troubles, not about the pain of losing Dalton, not about getting creeped on by Glenn, not about his grief about Nonna… He wouldn’t have been there to catch him or gone through all the trouble of finding and paying a divorce lawyer, not to mention helping him with every step of moving his whole life to Los Angeles.

Ever since they reconnected, Sebastian had proven to be a friend he could rely on, and Kurt didn’t know what he was talking about.

Except… well, wasn’t that what it looked like from the outside? Sebastian had supported him, been there whenever he was having trouble in his marriage, and once he had gotten Blaine to leave Kurt, he’d taken him to bed once – well, twice, technically – and that had been it.

It did look bad.

It wasn’t quite as black and white, of course, Blaine knew that, and it was absolutely unfair to Sebastian to even think about it that way. Sebastian did care. He proved that again and again. But maybe, and that was something that was surprisingly hard to swallow, he just wasn’t interested anymore.

“Hey,” Sebastian said, his voice interrupting his thoughts. “We’re here.”

Blaine stayed silent as they got out of the car and made their way into the apartment. Cooper wasn’t there, and for a moment Blaine tried to remember where he was now again, but then he gave up. He couldn’t keep up with his brother’s schedule. Right now, he wasn’t in the mood for anything, anyway. Maybe a drink, or at least holing up in his bedroom and forget the last few days even happened.

“Seriously, was it really that bad?” Sebastian asked. “You’re kind of worrying me here, killer.”

“Don’t call me that.”

The silence that followed these words was deafening. He couldn’t even look up, couldn’t possibly meet Sebastian’s eyes. He couldn’t take it back, either. He wasn’t sure he’d want to. He closed his eyes, sinking into the sofa. He almost expected Sebastian to turn around, yell at him, or… something. Instead, the silence stretched on further.

Eventually, Sebastian stepped in front of him. “Why?” he asked. “You never had a problem with it.”

“Yeah, well maybe I should have,” Blaine said.

“Okay, what the hell is going on with you?” Sebastian asked, now agitation seeping into his voice.

“Nothing is going on with me,” Blaine replied. It was easier than trying to get into what exactly was going on, not when he didn’t even get it himself. “Look, I’m tired, can you just leave?”

“What is your problem all of a sudden?” Sebastian asked. “It’s just something I call you, it’s not like I’m hitting on you or-“

“Yes, thank you, I noticed, thank you so much for reminding me,” Blaine said, now looking up, glaring at him.

And oh, did he know that edge in Sebastian’s expression. It had been a while since he’d seen it, that anger and defensiveness bubbling under the surface, ready to lash out. For a moment, he felt a rush of regret – this was not a good idea. He knew how vicious Sebastian could be, how he could zero in on someone’s insecurities, and his no doubt extensive knowledge about Blaine’s own weak spots.

“What, now you want to me to hit on you?” Sebastian asked. “And you think this attitude is an incentive? Hate to break it to you but this ice queen act – while it for some reason works on you – isn’t exactly a turn on for me.”

This was a bad idea, Blaine knew this was a bad idea, but he still found himself standing up, Sebastian’s words like an electric charge running through his veins, like they were shooting straight into an open wound he’d tried to ignore

“Doesn’t matter, does it?” Blaine asked. “Since… what was it, you don’t particularly care about seconds anyway? Got what you wanted, even if it took a few years longer than you thought, so why even bother now?”

“What?!” Sebastian stared at him, his mouth half open. He looked… outraged, angry in a way Blaine was sure he’d never seen before. “Are you fucking kidding me? That’s what this is about? I’m being a good friend! I’m doing the right thing here, why the hell are you attacking me?”

“You are being a good friend,” Blaine yelled back. “You’re a fucking perfect friend, is that what you want to hear?”

“Well, what the hell am I doing wrong now?”

“Nothing!” Blaine stopped, running a hand over his face. That fire inside him was suddenly not as burning any more. “You… Look, you’re… that wasn’t sarcastic, you _are_ being a good friend, and I am grateful, for all you’re doing for me, but… don’t call me that, don’t… look at me like that, don’t act like this could be more when you’re so clearly done with that part.”

Sebastian looked at him, blinking as if he had missed something and wasn’t sure how to catch up again. “What are you talking about?” he asked, his voice lower, the anger slowly fading into confusion. “Like this could be… what exactly is this supposed to be?”

Blaine sighed, wished he could take it all back, wished he’d never even opened this particular pandora’s box, or maybe that they’d had this conversation weeks ago, before it turned into… this. “What do you want from me?” he asked, eventually. “I just… ever since I met you, there’s been… something. And you’re the one who’s been pushing it. And then I give in, and you turn around, and suddenly you’re not interested anymore?”

Sebastian stared at him, and for a moment, Blaine could see several emotions so clear – confusion, indignation, _hurt_ , anger. It even took him a few second until he managed to speak, and when had he ever been lost for words?

“Okay, first of all – _give in_? Let’s get one thing straight here, Blaine, _you_ came for _me_. Second of all, where do you think this is supposed to be going? Because let me tell you, I have zero interest in being your friend with benefits.”

He should have seen it coming, but Blaine was still surprised at how close to home that one hit. “Right, that is exactly what it sounded like, when you basically suggested it the second conversation we ever had,” he said.

“Yeah, because as a teenager I clearly had amazing judgment,” Sebastian said, rolling his eyes. “Or maybe I was an idiot who pretended to be cool, so people don’t look close enough into the fuckton of issues I had. Maybe I’ve _thank god_ grown up just a little bit since then. And here’s another theory, maybe friends with benefits is the dumbest thing you could do with someone you actually give a damn about.”

Blaine frowned, tried not to hone in too much on the last part, even though a part of him clung to it despite all the anger. “What do you mean?” he asked.

Sebastian looked at him, and just a bit of the anger faded, enough that his voice sounded almost calm. “It’s not like I haven’t tried it in the past,” he said, “but you can’t really keep it up. Over time pretty much everything falls away except for the sex. Which is nice for regular hook-ups but doesn’t exactly leave much room for the friendship. And honestly… the way I see it, there’s no shortage of hookups in Los Angeles. If I want to get laid, I get laid. That’s not the problem. But you may have noticed… I don’t have that many friends to lose. I’d rather keep the ones I have around.”

Blaine looked down and felt the beginning of shame wash through him. It was honest, vulnerable in a way he’d never expected Sebastian to be in the middle of a fight. It made him feel like… well, a brat, and careless, and self-centered… He tried to focus on Sebastian’s words instead, tried to remind himself that this was a good thing. After everything they’d been through, obviously it was more important to keep Sebastian in his life. He would never sacrifice their connection just to feel him again, and if he had to choose, he would take Sebastian caring over sexual interest any time.

It just sucked that apparently, there had to be a choice.

“Can you say something?” Sebastian asked.

“”I’m sorry,” Blaine said. “I… I get what you’re saying. And that… I wouldn’t actually want that. Like, friends with benefits, I don’t think that’s something I could deal with anyway.”

“Then why do you still look upset?” Sebastian asked.

“Because feelings aren’t a light switch?” Blaine suggested. “And also… sorry, I’m being stupid, it’s just… it that all, then? Friends, or friends with benefits, those are the options?”

Sebastian blinked, honestly surprised, and then, even the rest of the anger drained out of him, as he shook his head. “Damn, he really fucked you up, didn’t he?” His voice was soft, and Blaine had to look away, couldn’t bear it. Sebastian sighed, walked closer and then he put a hand onto Blaine’s upper arm.

“B, look at yourself,” Sebastian said. “No offense, but… you’re a hot mess right now, emphasis on _mess_. You just completely overthrew your life. Your divorce has just started, you’re technically still married, and let’s not pretend he isn’t going to drag this out as long as he can. And then you see him once, and look at the state you’re in. I won’t tell you what to do, but honestly, do you really think you’re anywhere near the point where you can even consider something more serious than that?” He looked perfectly sincere, and once Blaine looked up and their eyes met, he couldn’t have averted his gaze again.

“I… I’m not,” he admitted.

Sebastian gave him a soft smile, sweet but just a bit sad. “Don’t think for a second that I don’t want you. Because I do. Never believe anything else. But not now. Not when we both know it would just end in disaster.” He sighed, shaking his head. “Not that crashing and burning with you wouldn’t be fun… but I think I’d rather keep you.”

Blaine gasped for breath, and just maybe it came out as more of a sob, but then it didn’t matter, when Sebastian’s arms closed around him.

“I’m sorry,” Blaine said, holding onto him. “I’m such a mess…I shouldn’t be bothered so easily, but it’s just… I let him get into my head, when I shouldn’t have, when I knew he just wanted to hurt me… I do know you better than that, I _trust_ you, and…”

“It’s okay,” Sebastian said. “I’m sorry, too. We probably should have talked about this before.”

Blaine sighed, and closed his eyes, just for one moment enjoying the warmth being held. “I guess I’m not as over everything as I thought,” he said.

“It would probably be a bit concerning if you were,” Sebastian said.

“I just hate feeling like this,” Blaine said. “I’m lost, Sebastian. I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Your whole life changed,” Sebastian said. “Give yourself some more time. And don’t worry. Figure yourself out. I’ll still be here when you do.”

Blaine looked up at him. Just for a second, he wished he already was there, that he could just focus on the warmth of Sebastian’s arms around him, the way he had to angle up his head just a bit to see his face, the blue speckles in those dark green eyes, the beauty marks on his face… He wished he was already there, but it was kind of obvious he wasn’t. With a sigh, he let his head rest against Sebastian’s shoulder.

“It will be okay,” Sebastian said, as if he’d read his mind.

And maybe, it didn’t feel like it right now, but at least he could try to believe it.

* * *

Cooper was strangely attentive the next few days, inviting him to come along on set, and eventually pushing him to take a bit part on Ripper. It was just one scene, but Blaine had to admit it was a lot of fun. By the end of the week, he had managed to put the wedding behind him, or at least focus on the positive aspects, seeing his friends again. He was still a mess, but he couldn’t deny the positives of “fake it till you make it”. One of the first steps was what he should have done weeks ago – text Mercedes to set up a coffee date.

They’d just finalized their plans for Sunday when he got a call. He looked at the display in slight confusion when he saw Robb’s name, but answered right after.

“Blaine, hey! Is this a bad time?”

“No, I wasn’t doing anything. What’s up?”

“You know, just wanted to catch up,” Robb said, once more trying to hold up a veneer of small talk. “Man, that wedding was… interesting.”

“It was pretty great,” Blaine said. “The reception… well, mostly also great.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Robb said. “Man, your ex is… _something_.”

Blaine snorted. “You could say that,” he said. “But honestly, I kind of get why I’m not his favorite person right now. Can’t exactly blame him for that.”

“I mean, Rachel filled me in on the details,” Robb said, “like the history you have with this Chandler guy? I don’t know, sounds kind of like a dick move to bring him.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to dwell on it,” Blaine said, shaking his head. “That’s not really what had me so upset, anyway.” He tried not to think about his outburst towards Sebastian, couldn’t shake of that feeling of embarrassment whenever he did.

“You did seem pretty upset,” Robb said, “and well, look, I get breakups, I get that it can get ugly… but I also think I got to know you a bit, and it kind of sucked that you got hurt or whatever.”

“It’s fine,” Blaine said, “I’m okay, you really don’t have to worry, or check up on me.” He wasn’t even sure where this was coming from. Robb had been friendly, but Blaine hadn’t expected him to get involved or anything…

“No, I know,” Robb said, “I just figured, it kind of sucked, and I may not have been in _that_ situation, but… let’s say I’ve been through an ugly breakup. So, I figured, maybe you could use a break.”

“I’m kind of taking a break,” Blaine said, “from pretty much everything.”

“Sounds boring,” Robb said. “And like a waste of talent. Let’s fix that. Did you know that Les Mis is playing in Los Angeles?”

Blaine frowned, just a bit surprised at the change in topic. “I’ve heard of it,” he said.

“A friend of mine is working there,” Robb said, “we got talking earlier. And I remember Rachel mentioning you auditioned for Marius once?”

“I did, but that didn’t go anywhere,” Blaine said. Of course, he had chosen for it to not go anywhere, but he didn’t want to get into it too much.

“You’d make a pretty good Marius,” Robb said, “but they got that role covered. Their Enjolras, on the other hand, is leaving on some pretty urgent family business. They need someone to step in for the rest of the run, about two months, and they need someone quickly. So, I told her that I know a guy.”

Blaine stopped, his pulse speeding up. “Are you serious?” he asked.

“They can squeeze you in for an audition tomorrow, if you’re interested,” Robb said. “What do you say?”

“Yes, of course! Thank you!”

“Not a problem. Just make sure you bring your A-game,” Robb said. 

Blaine closed his eyes, and for a moment he wondered whether this would be a repetition of his Grease audition – another play that had some connotations to it. But then again, hadn’t West Side Story been the same? And hadn’t that worked out pretty well?

He discarded the thought. This would be different. This time, he’d seize the day.

“Oh, I absolutely will.”

* * *

When Blaine walked into the theater, there were already a group of people standing on the stage. He felt slightly intimidated by the size of the place, even slightly bigger than the one where West Side Story had played, and inside one of the older, more prestigious theaters. Even for just two months as a replacement for the original actor, this would be a pretty good opportunity for him…

“Are you the new Enjolras?”

Blaine turned, when he was spoken to. A young man was walking closer, probably around his age with blondish hair wrapped in a bun. He was wearing a band shirt, certainly not a costume like the people on the stage.

“Um, I’m auditioning for him,” Blaine said, shaking his hand. “I’m Blaine.”

“I’m Connor,” the guy said, shaking his hand. “I’m assisting the vocal coach. You probably want to talk to Zoey, she’s the director. Over there.”

He beckoned Blaine to follow him and led him to the front of the stage. A woman was just busy commenting on the choreography shown on stage but turned around when she noticed them approach. She was probably in her mid-thirties, a no-nonsense expression on her face that he’d always connect to Sue Sylvester in his head, as she looked Blaine up and down.

“So, you’re Tony?”

“Blaine Anderson,” he introduced himself.

“I’ve seen you,” the woman said instead. “West Side Story, not bad. And I’m always willing to listen to Robb and his eye for talent. Are you familiar with the play?”

“I’ve seen it a few times,” Blaine said, “and I’m very familiar with the score.”

“Good,” Zoey said. “How about you come on stage and show us what you’ve got? Everyone, clear the stage. We’re done with the factory scene.”

“What would you like me to sing?” Blaine asked, as he climbed up the stage.

“Do you hear the people sing,” she replied. “Technically, only the first chorus is Enjolras’, but give it to us as a solo. It’s the fastest way for us to see if you have what it takes.”

Of course, he knew the song. He took a moment to breathe, slowly, deeply, and get himself into the right set of mind. Hopeful, enthusiastic, ready to fight for changing the world… to throw himself into battle and _make_ everyone want to join him. The pianist looked at him, clearly waiting for him to start…

So, he did. He began softly, just a spark of revolution, and let it rise, a crescendo with every verse, let it burst into flame to consume everything. He didn’t focus on anyone around him, just on the music, on putting everything into the performance, make the song intense, rousing, and as he sang the last notes, he would have jumped on the barricades himself.

He held the last pose just for a moment before he returned his gaze back to the stage. Only then did he notice the silence that had fallen around him. He saw Zoey watching him with an unreadable expression. Conner was standing beside her, his mouth half open.

Eventually, Zoey beckoned him, and he climbed off the stage, just a bit nervous. She looked him up once more, as if she was appraising a piece of jewelry. Then, she nodded.

“I can see it,” she said. “We need you ready to take over next Tuesday, so if you take the role, you’re looking at a few very intense days. What do you say?”

“Yes, of course,” Blaine said quickly, “I’d love to.”

“Good. Connor here is doing a lot of the vocal training, and I don’t need him right now. I suggest you go with him to go over your vocals. We’ll discuss the contract and the rest of the schedule later. Also, watch the show tonight, so you get an impression. Welcome aboard.”

Blaine nodded, barely able to believe it. Could it really be this easy? But as Connor led him into a smaller rehearsal room with a piano, it started to settle. Maybe they were on a tight schedule to find a replacement, but still, this meant something.

“Here’s the whole score,” Connor said, giving him a booklet. “You should probably mark your part. So, you were on Broadway?”

“Off-Broadway,” Blaine said, “but I’ve kind of… relocated since.”

Connor stopped, looking at him a bit thoughtful, as if he didn’t know if he should speak.

“Personal reasons,” Blaine added.

“So, are you originally from New York?” Connor asked.

“Ohio, actually,” Blaine said. “I moved to New York for college.”

“Cool,” Connor said. “Okay, so let’s start with the ABC café scene…”


	5. Chapter 4

* * *

Rehearsals for Les Mis turned out to be the most exhausting thing he’d gone through since Cheerio practice. It was to be expected, of course, if he wanted to get up to speed within less than a week. Thank god the show didn’t have any elaborate dance numbers and played a lot more on acting. Still, there was a lot to rehearse if he wanted his debut in Los Angeles to have any meaningful impact. He just so managed to squeeze in his piano lesson with Allie, and to put his gig at the lounge on the backburner for a few weeks. The rest of his life was consumed by French revolution. He barely got to see Cooper, apart from both of them crashing on the couch after exhausting days, and the most contact he’d had with Sebastian lately was sending each other memes.

But the week was coming to an end. Friday rehearsal was over, and while the rest of the crew was getting ready for tonight’s performance, Blaine was thankfully done. He’d be back for a dress rehearsal for all his scenes on Monday, only to have his first show on Tuesday, with two whole days in between to relax and get ready.

Or, well, sleep. That would be nice, too.

“It will be fine,” Connor said, “seriously, you’re already way better than our current Enjolras.”

“Don’t let him hear you say that,” Blaine said, laughing it off. He wasn’t sure if it was an actual problem, his contact with his predecessor had been pretty minimal, and probably wouldn’t grow any further, seeing how he would leave the city after his last performance on Sunday.

After saying his goodbyes, Blaine stepped out of the theater. As tired as he was, he actually had a good feeling about this. The chemistry among the cast worked really well, and he couldn’t wait to become part of that.

As he made his way to the nearest bus stop, he took out his phone, smiling when he noticed a new message from Sebastian. He smiled, and was just about to send something back, when he noticed an email from Bev.

He only had to skim through it to get the gist. The first negotiation hadn’t gone anywhere, and it was just as she had already warned him. Nonna’s money. And maybe, if he hadn’t been so tired, he would have put away his phone, reread the message when he was calmer, and figured out what he should do, if anything at all.

But he was exhausted. His earlier enthusiasm had dissolved into nothing, and he felt angry. Was that really how that was going to play out? What was Kurt even thinking, acting like he had any right to what Nonna had left to him? Their confrontation at Rachel’s wedding was still fresh in his memory, and while Sebastian had been able to dispel the doubts brought up, Blaine had not forgiven either Kurt’s words nor the reappearance of Chandler.

And sure, it might not be the best possible move, but by the time he considered it, the call had already connected.

“Hello? …Blaine?”

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“What? What are you talking about?” Kurt asked.

“I’m talking about the money Nonna left to me,” Blaine said. “Are you seriously trying to take that from me?”

“I’m not trying to take anything, all I want is a fair division of assets,” Kurt said. Blaine remembered again why this wasn’t a great idea. There was so much defensiveness in Kurt’s voice, his shields immediately up probably from the first words Blaine had said. But he didn’t really care right now, he was too angry.

“You might want to tell your lawyer that,” Blaine said. “And drop it. What is even wrong with you, to hold that over my head?”

“Are you kidding me?” Kurt asked. “You leave, you just walk out of our life, you don’t even _try_ to fix it. I told you we could get counselling, but you just decided you’re done with me, without even talking to me about it, and run off to Sebastian of all people. The only communication I get is through your lawyer – which, as rumor has it, you also have Sebastian pay for, but no, of course he has _nothing_ to do with anything – and now, the first time you actually talk to me, all you care about is money? Who are you even? I feel like I’ve stepped into some alternate reality! What is wrong with _you_?”

Blaine felt his handshake. There were so many things he could say – how their connection had been dead long before either of them had noticed, how there’d been nothing left to fix at that point, and how it wasn’t his fault that Kurt hadn’t paid enough attention to notice it until Rachel of all people had to point it out…

“You really think you have some sort of moral high ground here, don’t you?” he said instead. “That’s always your thing, it’s _frustrating_. And you honestly act like this, after that stunt you pulled at Rachel’s wedding…”

“Stunt?”

“Chandler. Dragging him back into the whole thing, just because you thought it would upset me.”

“Don’t you dare talk to me about Chandler, not when you made him leave me there. He hasn’t answered any of my calls since, are you happy now?”

“Good for him,” Blaine spat back. “And I’ll be happy once the divorce is done.”

There was a moment of silence between them, long enough that Blaine’s anger cooled down just a bit, enough to realize how pointless this was. He wouldn’t convince Kurt of anything, especially not when they were both angry and lashing out. Yelling at Kurt might make him feel slightly better, but in the long term it wouldn’t help with anything.

Before he could say something about it, though, Kurt spoke again.

“I don’t know what happened with you. I’m serious, it’s like I have no idea who you even are anymore. But you know what? Maybe you should see this as an opportunity. What is the expression, put your money where your mouth is? This is your chance, Blaine. You can be free – the very moment that being done with me matters more to you than that money.”

It took Blaine a few moments until he could even begin of something to say in reply, but by that time the call was already disconnected. He glared at his phone, and the anger was back again in full force. And why exactly did it feel like he lost this one? Why did it always feel like he was losing anyway? And still, so close to the surface, that well of self-doubt…

Did Kurt have a point? In the end, this was about money. If this was something that would drag out his divorce… how long was he going to put off his freedom? At what point would it feel like it wasn’t worth it?

But… it wasn’t just money. It was something left by his grandmother, who had loved him, and wanted him to be happy. She’d wanted him to have safety, something that could provide for him while he was chasing his dreams, and eventually a foundation for the life he’d choose. If it was money he’d won in a lottery, he probably wouldn’t have cared so much. But this was different.

This was bad. He felt like such a mess, and he was getting really tired of the feeling. He’d have to get his head back together over the weekend, and this was a horrible start to it. But he just felt so exhausted and riled up in the worst way. The plan had been to go home, maybe read through his lyrics again, or just relax and go to sleep soon. But now, he felt restless, almost anxious, and he knew, an evening at home with Cooper would do nothing to calm his nerves.

But of course, he knew what would.

* * *

Blaine was just wondering whether he should have called first when the door was opened by Sebastian’s roommate. He’d only met Cassie a few times, but she didn’t look changed at all, black hair in a messy ponytail and ever-present shadows under her ice blue eyes. Like Sebastian, she’d moved in with her boyfriend at the time once their old apartment had become uninhabitable. And just like Sebastian, she had kicked said boyfriend to the curb pretty soon, and they’d found a new place together.

Now, she didn’t seem the least bit surprised to see Blaine. “Come in,” she said, “Seb’s in the bathroom, still getting ready.”

“Uh… thanks,” Blaine said, even as he wondered what Sebastian might be getting ready for. “How’ve you been?”

She looked at him with a slightly manic glint in her eye. “Do you know anything about chemotherapy?”

“It’s… pretty tough on the patient, you get sick and lose your hair?” Blaine guessed.

She shook her head. “Let’s just say if I read the name of just one more receptor, my head is going to explode, so I’m going to binge watch the last season of the Bachelor now.”

“Have… fun?” Blaine said. Looking back, he was kind of glad he didn’t pursue getting into med school…

The thought was interrupted, when their bathroom door opened, and Sebastian walked out. Blaine turned, and suddenly, his mouth was dry.

It had been a while since he’d seen Sebastian dressed up. But there he was, form fitting navy slacks, a crisp white shirt and a burgundy tie, his hair more coiffed than usual, freshly shaven. He was just closing the last buttons, when he noticed Blaine standing there.

“Hey,” he said, just a bit surprised to see him. “What brings you here?”

“It’s… sorry, I should have called,” Blaine said. It was hard to tear his eyes away from the man in front of him. “You’re clearly busy.”

“Yeah, I kind of have a thing,” Sebastian said, “but I’m pretty much ready to go, and I still have some time till then. Come on.”

As Blaine followed him into his room, he allowed himself a moment to just look at him. And wasn’t it a sight… Still, it was hard not to wonder just why he was so dressed up. From there, it wasn’t that far a leap to wonder if he was getting ready for a date…

Of course, he told himself, it would be absolutely fine if that was the case. He and Sebastian were friends, and just because Blaine wasn’t ready for anything serious, didn’t mean Sebastian had to be a monk. It was his right to go on dates, or whatever he wanted. Still… this might be a bit hard to deal with in the future… He wondered if that was how Sebastian had felt during the last four years, and that was enough to quell the jealousy. He would not be a selfish brat. Boundaries, he reminded himself. It would probably be smart to also have some in his mind.

Sebastian’s bedroom was as always in a state of semi-order. His bed was made neatly, but there were a few clothes lying around, but what he noticed was that there was a lot more paper out than usual. Sebastian pushed a few of them to the side so Blaine could sit down on the bed, while he himself sat down at his desk, closing his laptop before turning around. Beside the desk, there was a small tower of books that were still wrapped in plastic.

“What’s that all about?” Blaine asked, both curious and relieved he had something to point out instead of the question why Sebastian was so dressed up.

To his surprise, Sebastian actually seemed a bit embarrassed, as he ran a hand through his hair. “Oh, it’s just… you know. Exam preparation.”

Blaine looked at him, raising an eyebrow, and waited until his friend continued.

“So, the bar’s coming up, and I figured I’d start with the preparation early,” he said.

“Wait, I thought you’re taking that in February,” Blaine said confused.

“Well… yeah,” Sebastian said. “I just…” He stopped and sighed in frustration. “I suck at studying.”

“What? But you were a straight A student,” Blaine said, “and that’s with all the partying you did.”

“Exactly,” Sebastian said. “Because that was easy. Law school was already a lot harder. But the bar? California has basically one of the hardest bar exams nationwide. You really need to know what you’re doing there.”

Blaine thought about it, and nodded slowly. “I guess it makes sense. You never really learned how to study, because you’re so used to breezing through everything.”

“Yeah, well, I better figure it out some time soon,” Sebastian said with a shrug. “But that can wait until tomorrow, I’ve got other plans for tonight. So far, I’ve only checked one suggested study guide and I’m half considering getting back to Coper about the model contract he said he’d score for me, if I ever give up law school…”

“Please don’t, you would break my mother’s heart,” Blaine said.

Sebastian chuckled. “Oh, well, in that case…”

“What are your plans anyway?” Blaine asked. “Hot date?” He was trying to sound casual, and he was actually pretty confident in the outcome.

Sebastian smirked, when he met his eye. “Super-hot,” he said, sarcasm dripping from his words, “with that rich, older gentleman who’s funding this whole lavish lifestyle,” he threw out his arms, gesturing around his room – nice, yes, but not luxurious, “and also puts me through law school.”

“What?” Blaine laughed, because clearly this was too ridiculous.

“Dad’s picking me up for dinner,” Sebastian said chuckling. “Colette’s in town for work, and he’s taking us out. _Family time_.” He actually shuddered at these words, as if he didn’t completely adore the both of them. “But I still have some time till he shows up here. So, what’s going on? Did something happen?”

Blaine sighed, shaking his head. “It’s nothing, really,” he said. “It’s just… this week has been pretty tough…”

“I’ll say,” Sebastian said, “learning a whole show in a few days?”

“It’ll be worth it,” Blaine said. “You’re coming, right? To my first show?”

“What kind of question is that even?” Sebastian asked, rolling his eyes.

“I also heard from Bev again, about the divorce,” Blaine said.

It was just a subtle change, but there was no doubt that Sebastian got more serious. “What exactly is the issue?”

“You know my grandmother left me some money?” Blaine asked.

“A whole lot of money, if I remember correctly,” Sebastian said. “He’s trying to get his hands on half of it?”

Blaine nodded. “I made the mistake of having it transferred to a joint account,” he said.

“And now it’s all muddled up, I see,” Sebastian said.

“When I got her message, I got… angry,” Blaine continued. “And I called Kurt.”

Sebastian sighed, shaking his head. “Look, I know I’m not your lawyer… or _a_ lawyer yet… or exactly up to date about New York state law anyway…”

“You don’t have to give me legal advice,” Blaine said quickly, “and you really don’t have to pay Bev, either.”

“Hey, that was a gift,” Sebastian said, “don’t even think of impugning my honor here. Besides, you’re not the only one with rich dead grandparents. But to get to the point I was actually trying to make – don’t talk to Kurt. Especially not when you’re angry, and ideally not until he’s come to terms with your split.”

“Why?” Blaine asked.

“Again, not a lawyer yet, not an expert on New York state law, but from what I know this could be quite a mess, legally. I’m not saying it can’t go your way, it absolutely could, but it’s not out of this world that a judge will rule against you. There’s basically one clean way out of this.”

“To concede?” Blaine asked. “Just let him walk away with what Nonna wanted me to build a future from?”

Sebastian made a face. “Fine, _two_ clean ways. But yours is the last resort.”

“What’s the other one?”

“Get _him_ to concede,” Sebastian said. “If he for some reason lets it go, you can walk away.”

Blaine stared at him, shaking his head. “I literally can’t get him to do anything right now, I’m pretty sure about that.”

“That was kind of my point,” Sebastian said with a shrug. “Right now, it’s probably still too fresh for him to even listen to you. So, whatever you say to him will probably just make things worse.”

“You want me to do nothing,” Blaine said.

“Doing nothing is better than making things worse,” Sebastian replied. “Hey, maybe he’ll get over it with a bit more time. Until then, let Bev handle it. I’m afraid you’ll have to play the long game here. You’ll have to be really patient.”

“I’m not very good at that,” Blaine admitted.

“Trust me, I know how much the long game sucks. But you’ll do fine,” Sebastian said. “This will take longer than you hoped. That doesn’t mean you can’t focus on the rest of your life. Your first show in LA for example.”

Blaine laughed, and just so stopped himself from looking away. “I guess I’ve been pretty lucky with shows so far,” he said. “Or maybe I just know the right people.”

“Hey, networking is important everywhere,” Sebastian said. “That’s what gets your foot in the door. The rest is all you. “ He sighed, leaning back in his chair. “Sometimes, I wonder if I should have done that. Something with performing. I probably could have done something with dancing…”

“I mean, you definitely have the talent,” Blaine said, “but come one. You would probably hate it.”

Sebastian laughed. “Yeah, probably. Plus, my father would kill me. Still…” He looked around his room. “At least I wouldn’t have to deal with _this_.”

“I get it,” Blaine said, smiling at him. “But you can do this, if only because you’re stubborn. And, I could help you. Not with the material,” he added quickly at the doubtful look Sebastian cast him. “But I’ve actually put some thoughts into study strategies back in school.”

“Like you ever needed them,” Sebastian said, scoffing. “You soared through high school, and no offence, but I don’t think your classes at NYU were extremely challenging academically.”

“Are you dumping on my education?” Blaine asked, but he was grinning himself. “Seriously, though. Some of my friends at school needed help, mostly Sam. And sometimes it helps just to have some accountability. I could hang out and poke you every time you stop studying.”

“Now, _that_ would not work,” Sebastian said, “you are _way_ too distracting.”

“I can be non-distracting,” Blaine said, frowning.

Sebastian’s eyes roamed over him, and fine, that look maybe, kind of, definitely did something for him. “Trust me,” Sebastian said, his voice just so on the edge of roughness, “you can’t.”

Their eyes met, and just for a second Blaine wondered what the harm could be, if…

The doorbell interrupted the thought before it could lead anywhere dangerous. Well, more dangerous. As if he didn’t notice the tension, Sebastian got up to open the door. A few moment later, he returned to the room with a man following him.

So far, Blaine had only seen pictures of Sebastian’s father – tall, dark brown hair that was beginning to gray at the temples. There were similarities between father and son as far as stance and movement went, as well as those piercing eyes, but apart from that, it seemed Sebastian was coming more after his mother’s side. Blaine didn’t know much about Xavier Smythe – he was a state’s attorney, who had very high expectations on Sebastian especially in an academic sense, but still cared very much about his children, even if he was maybe not best equipped to show it. And as much as Sebastian tried to hide it, it was pretty obvious, that was quite mutual. 

His eyes scanned Blaine, and just the hint of a frown appeared on his forehead.

“This is Blaine,” Sebastian said, “we were just catching up.”

“Nice to meet you,” Blaine said, holding out his hand.

“Blaine,” Xavier repeated, as he took it. His grip was firm, just on the edge of too much. “Right, your actor friend.”

There was just something in the way he said those words, nothing explicit that Blaine could put his finger on, but an undertone that made him cast a sideway look to the mirror, just making sure he didn’t look like a complete mess. His hair was still just a bit wild from rehearsal, but he figured it could be labelled as artfully tousled, and his clothes were… well, nothing fancy, but clean and decent enough.

“He’s doing Les Misérables,” Sebastian said.

“Hm,” Xavier said, “so you’re a revolutionary?”

“Well, I’m playing one,” Blaine said. “Enjolras, he’s the leader.”

“I’m familiar,” Xavier said. “Well, it was nice meeting you, but I have to steal my son away now. You’ll excuse us?”

Blaine blinked, but managed not to let his smile slip. He knew this game, although he wasn’t sure why they were playing it. Formal civility, but he couldn’t help but feel like there was something else under there, an antipathy he hadn’t expected. But this was probably not the right moment to analyze it. “Of course,” he said instead, “I hope you enjoy dinner.”

Sebastian looked between them, uncomfortable and slightly confused.

“I’ll see you Tuesday?” Blaine asked, smiling at him just to make sure his friend knew everything was okay.

Sebastian nodded. “Can’t wait,” he said, and Blaine felt his smile widen.

“It was nice meeting you,” he said to Sebastian’s father.

The man looked him up and down, before nodding. “You as well. Have a nice evening.”

As Blaine walked down the stairs, he wondered what just happened. Maybe it was just in his head, there was nothing concrete he could point out, but there’d been something in the way Sebastian’s father had looked at him – like he didn’t belong here, in Sebastian’s apartment, or maybe life.

He shook his head. No, he was getting ridiculous now. No way could he know this after one short meeting. And it had been a pretty exhausting week. Still, despite this slightly unpleasant encounter, he realized he felt so much calmer than after the phone call.

As he walked to the next bus stop, he felt like smiling again.

* * *

Blaine had found several nice little cafes and restaurants since he moved here, but he was always happy to find more. The coffee shop Mercedes had suggested for their meeting definitely qualified. Quaint, cozy and with amazing coffee, he definitely would come back here. He could definitely see what Mercedes saw in the place.

Back when they’d lived together in New York, Blaine had been impressed by how comfortable Mercedes had become in her own skin – something that he himself still struggled with. They hadn’t been particularly close at McKinley, and he’d mostly encountered her insecurities back then. But after graduation, she’d gone to LA, found her place, and far from all of New Directions drama become the star she deserved to be. Sure, she had taken a hiatus while going through college, but her comeback was in the works.

And maybe this was exactly what he needed, some inspiration to recreate her ascent, do what she did – find himself again in Los Angeles.

He was just a bit surprised at how much fun it was to catch up with her. At first, he tried to keep the conversation more on her, listening to how she had used most of the income of her old songs to pay her way through college, the current struggle with her old label to publish the new music she’d been writing, and the struggle with the boyfriend she’d left because he wouldn’t support her spreading her wings once more.

But as their conversation continued, he found himself opening up himself. He told her about life in New York, about the loft that had never felt like a home, how tough it had been to navigate his own career alongside Kurt’s. He stopped himself as he started on how volatile even his friendship with Rachel had felt. This got too far into Kurt territory, and suddenly he remembered that despite her warmth now, Mercedes had been Kurt’s best friend first.

Mercedes just gave him this look again, the one that said that she understood perfectly.

“Let me guess, you think you’re the closest you’ve ever been, and then Kurt and Rachels solve whatever issue their friendship has now, and suddenly they’re best friends forever once more and forget you exist?”

“Well… kind of,” Blaine said. He was actually surprised at how accurate it was.

“I’ve been there,” Mercedes said with a shrug. “I still remember what it was like when the New Directions started. Rachel was completely insufferable, and everyone agreed on it. Kurt, especially – he used to hate her. Though that may be because he was crushing on Finn at the time… But Kurt and I, we used to be best friends. Honestly, we were making fun of Rachel a lot, we were kind of mean. But then, Junior year comes around. Rachel decides that they’re friends now. Then he meets you, and suddenly, he forgets the rest of the world exists.”

Blaine looked down, a sudden wave of discomfort hitting him.

“And once he emerges from that bubble, he then turns towards Rachel, and you know the rest,” Mercedes continued. “Suddenly, they’re the best of friends, and woe to everybody who thinks they can get between them. Honestly, it kind of sucked at the time. But you get over it. Let them have New York, live your best life.”

“I’m trying,” Blaine said. “And I get what you’re saying, that’s pretty much what I experienced. But it wasn’t the problem, that wasn’t about Rachel.”

Mercedes laughed, playfully shoving his arm. “I’m not trying to explain your divorce to you,” she said, “I’m trying to tell you I’m not _on his side_ , or whatever way you want to put it. Whatever went wrong with your marriage isn’t my business, and I’m not judging. You don’t have to hold back.”

Blaine felt a blush rising on his face. “Sorry. I guess I’m just used to thinking of everyone as Kurt’s friends first…”

Mercedes tilted her head. “Look, here’s the thing about New Directions – well, the old New Directions at least, from what I heard the drama really subsided once my year left… Everyone’s been breaking up with everyone. Nobody cares.”

He frowned. He hadn’t thought about it like that before, but really, it made sense somehow. But more importantly, he wondered if he shouldn’t take just another page out of the Mercedes Jones playbook, and leave behind the New Directions drama for good.

“It’s not like I don’t have other things to focus on,” he said.

“Right, your show,” Mercedes said. “I got my ticket for Tuesday already. Your boy got it all planned out.”

Blaine sighed. “He’s not my boy,” he said.

“Just because he ain’t your boyfriend, doesn’t mean he ain’t your boy,” Mercedes replied.

Well, that he could work with. And if the thought brought a smile to his face, then that was his own business. Of course, it only held for a moment until he remembered their last meeting. “I met his father on Friday,” he said, trying to sound unbothered. “It was weird. He just… you know, nothing really happened, I just felt like he disliked me. And I don’t get it, it’s not like I did anything…”

“Maybe he’s defensive of his son,” Mercedes said, “or maybe your boy got his charming manners from somewhere, right?”

“He’s not…” Blaine said, but then stopped himself. Fine, he could kind of understand how Sebastian’s behavior hadn’t impressed Mercedes so far. “He’s gotten a lot better.”

“It’s not the end of the world,” Mercedes said, “I mean, we’re all still friends with Santana. And damn, she can be vicious. Although she’s mellowed out a bit, thanks to Brittany.”

“What about you?” Blaine asked. “Have you tried seeing someone since the breakup?”

She sighed. “Not really. Dating just… doesn’t come easy to me. I need to connect with people first. I guess I was happiest with Sam, but we want different things. We’re actually better off as friends. I’ve been on a few dates, but…” She shook her head. “Let’s just say, that scene isn’t exactly easy.”

Blaine shuddered as he imagined. He remembered some of the stories friends at NYU told him about the dating scene there – he’d always been grateful not having to worry about that at least. Honestly, he still was.

“Anyway, I’m a firm believer that when it’s supposed to happen, it’ll happen,” she said with a shrug. “And you know what else is gonna happen?”

He followed her gaze to their cups. “A refill?”

“I like how you think.”

There was a bit of a line, but he didn’t mind. Really, he felt kind of relaxed, even as the stress of the play was starting to loom over him. He didn’t pay attention as the person before him stepped back, almost running into him. Blaine rolled his eyes in annoyance but calmed down the second the man turned to him, already apologizing.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to… Oh.”

It took Blaine a moment until he recognized him. They had only met once, after all, and even that was probably saying too much. It was Jackson, Sebastian’s ex-boyfriend. And apparently, he’d recognized him as well.

“Wait, I remember you,” Jackson said. “You’re Blaine.”

“And what is it to you?” Blaine replied. He could too well remember what it had been like, how upset Sebastian had been after the breakup, after running into Jackson. It wasn’t even that their relationship hadn’t worked out – that happened, and Blaine couldn’t judge anyone for that. Even his own jealousy at the time could be pushed aside easily – like he had any right to feel jealous over Sebastian dating when he was married. It wasn’t any of that, but what Blaine couldn’t forgive was how Jackson had made Sebastian feel dammaged, not good enough, tried to define him through all his insecurities… Basically, he had no interest in speaking to this man ever.

“Are you really Cooper Anderson’s brother?” Jackson asked.

“I really don’t see, how that’s any of your business,” Blaine replied. “Come on, Mercedes, let’s go somewhere else.”

“Wait, I just want to talk,” Jackson said. “Sorry, I just… How’s Sebastian?”

“He’s great,” Blaine said. “Not that it’s any of your business.” He cast a look towards Mercedes, who was watching the scene with an expression that told there would be questions. Thankfully, she nodded when he caught her eye, and ignoring Jackson calling after him, they left the coffee shop.

“So,” she said as they began to walk to a different shop. “Is that an ex?”

“He and Sebastian dated for a while last year,” Blaine said. “Let’s say it wasn’t the most amicable breakup.”

“And why was he so surprised to see you?” Mercedes asked.

Blaine shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. I only saw him once, and that was after the breakup. Mostly, I saw the aftermath of that breakup…” He stopped, before he could continue. He wasn’t going to share secrets that weren’t his. Maybe some of that shone through, as Mercedes expression softened.

“He did quite a number on your boy, hm?” she guessed.

“You could say that,” Blaine said. He sighed, shaking his head. “Sorry, kind of brought down the mood.”

“Well, I guess we’ll have to get it back up,” Mercedes said, her smile back and just as contagious as before. “Come on, I’d say we could both do with more coffee.”

Yes, Blaine thought as he followed her to the next coffee shop, he could probably do a lot worse than take a page from the Mercedes Jones playbook.


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so this one is slightly indulgent/transition/idk, before next chapter hits with another storm. So let's have a breather, shall we?

* * *

Just a week ago, Blaine had seen the show, barely able to believe he’d be part of this production. Now, he stood on stage, joining the rest of the crew in the final chorus. He could barely see beyond the spotlights, but he could feel it in every fiber of his body. The last words were sung, the orchestra played the last note, and the theater exploded into roaring applause.

He knew how it went, of course, took bow after bow, accepted the personal applause when he stepped forward at his cue with some other “revolutionaries”, then back into the ensemble as the leads one by one went up. This wasn’t his first production. But he still loved it, just to see the enthusiasm from the audience, realize how well they’d done. It was thrumming through his veins, and he knew his face would hurt from smiling so much. And the best thing was, this time he knew he had not only one pair of eyes on him.

There wasn’t the usual buzz he knew from opening night, but of course he was the only one who had his first performance. There was a positive energy, though, and Blaine felt just at home. When he said his goodbye, a few even gave feedback and congratulated him to a good first show. Still, he was happy to step outside and find friends waiting for him.

Cooper was the first to greet him, hugging him tight and cheering so loud his ears rang. Blaine grinned at him, then looked over his shoulder. Mercedes was there, too, and of course, Sebastian. What surprised him was the woman beside Sebastian, tall and blonde, in a golden sheath dress, a beauty mark on her right cheek, and watching him out of sparkling eyes.

Cooper followed his gaze, and grinned. “His sister,” he muttered into Blaine’s ear, “don’t worry.”

Which… was exactly what Blaine had worried about, but before he could tell Cooper that, Sebastian had stepped closer, and then Blaine was in his arms.

“You were amazing,” Sebastian said, and Blaine was filled with warmth.

“Thank you,” he said, stepping back just a bit to see Sebastian’s face. He might never get over it, the way Sebastian looked at him sometimes, pride, and simply joy of seeing him perform.

“And this is my sister, Nicolette.”

Blaine gave her his best show smile, and just hoped that she wouldn’t share that instinctive dislike Sebastian’s father had shown him. But he realized she was also smiling and kissed his cheek.

“You were absolutely wonderful,” she said. “I was dying to meet you, after hearing so much about you.”

“You too,” Blaine said.

The next moment, he was hugged by Mercedes. He held her tight for a moment, thanking her. He had to admit, it felt surreal. He’d always loved performing so much more, when he knew that there was someone out there. But for this, for his first performance in LA, in his new life, to already have someone waiting for him, rooting for him… Well, it meant a lot.

“By the way, the Fantine… is her name Allison by any chance?” Cooper asked. “I think I dated her…”

Blaine stared at him. “Her name is Penny.”

“Oh, guess it was someone else, then.” His brother shrugged, clearly not bothered.

“Uh, no. That was her,” Blaine said. “Made for an awkward conversation, so thank you so much for that.”

“Quel charmeur,” Sebastian’s sister muttered under her breath, even though she was smiling.

Cooper looked like he was about to dig deeper, when someone called out to them.

“Blaine? I was hoping I’d catch you.” It was Connor, waving as he came up to them. “You did really great!”

“Thank you! Guys, this is Connor, he’s basically made sure I was ready for the show in time. This is my brother, Cooper. My friend from school, Mercedes. And this is Sebastian, and his sister.” Just for a moment he wondered, whether he should have given a qualifier to Sebastian, but he decided against it. What was he even supposed to say? Friend was true, but didn’t feel like enough, and the truth was too complicated.

“Great to meet you!” Cooper said, immediately seizing the conversation. “That’s some pretty good direction you guys have with this show. I really got into the revolution, nothing to rouse the troops like a good song, and he even finally got you to point!”

“Oh, well, I don’t really have anything to do with the choreography or directing,” Connor said. “Well, I just wanted to check in with you. Good to see you have your captive audience.” Blaine laughed, but couldn’t help a blush rising on his face.

“We were just about to take Blaine here out for a few drinks, celebrate the show,” Cooper said. “Want to come along?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to impose,” Connor said, just a bit embarrassed.

“You wouldn’t,” Blaine said quickly, “the more the merrier, right?” He took a look around the group, to find everyone smiling – only Sebastian’s looked kind of tense. It was a bit strange, given how social he usually was. For a moment, Blaine wondered if it could be jealousy, but discarded the thought. Probably, it was just what he wanted to see. They were friends, and for now that was all they were.

As they left the theater, Sebastian walked close enough that their arms kept brushing against each other. It would be easy to lean into him, just a little, until the contact was constant… And maybe, as they walked to a bar near the theater, they walked a bit closer than was technically appropriate. But that was it. After all, they needed some boundaries for now, until he figured out his life.

For now.

Blaine’s eyes widened as the realization hit him. Funny, how it could still surprise him so often how dense he could be. He’d told himself he needed time to close the last chapter of his life, and then figure out what he wanted. But really, he _knew_ what he wanted, probably had known it since long before he made that phone call. And sure, right now, he wasn’t ready to do anything about it. He was still a mess, still hurting from losing a relationship that had come to dominate his entire life. Everything was new right now, and while he was getting his bearings, he knew he wasn’t quite there yet. But now, walking through the streets of LA, with Cooper boasting to Sebastian’s sister about their performances as kids, Blaine suddenly realized something with a clarity so stark it almost choked him.

This thing with Sebastian… it was a when, not an if. And deep down, he’d probably known even back then at Dalton, when Sebastian had given him that paper, that promise.

Such a simple thought, and it still made his head spin just a little as they entered the bar, Cooper already charging forward to get their drink order in.

“Hey, you okay?”

He looked up when Sebastian put a hand onto his shoulder to hold him back, while the rest of the group walked further into the room.

He couldn’t do anything else but rise to the tip of his toes, pressing a soft kiss onto Sebastian’s cheek. “I’m great,” he muttered.

Sebastian seemed surprised, blinked at him in uncertainty. But Blaine smiled, shaking his head. This was neither the time nor the place to explain his recent revelation. And really, he might be better off keeping it to himself, at least for now, while he wasn’t in a position to do anything about it. Boundaries, he reminded himself. They were a good thing.

“I’m really glad you came,” Blaine said.

For a moment, Sebastian just looked at him with an unreadable expression, and then that old familiar smirk was back. “Told you I could do that,” he said. “Now come on, you deserve a drink.”

* * *

There’d always been something special about watching Blaine perform on the stage. Something just lit a spark in him and sprang over to the whole audience. It was impossible not to pay attention, feel every emotion with him. Hell, Sebastian felt motivated to start a revolution, even if he was pretty sure in a modern setting, he and his family definitely would see the wrong side of the guillotine…

Blaine belonged on stage, came alive on stage, and even if it went against every single cynical fiber within him, Sebastian couldn’t help but get into it every single time. And he knew, it wasn’t just him. There as a reason the Warblers never got over losing Blaine, why even the public school rejects had become so much more cohesive once Blaine stood up to take his well-deserved place as their leader instead of pining for someone who never deserved him. It was pretty clear that whenever Blaine would take his foot off the break, people would see just how exceptional he was, and flock to him. It was only a matter of time until LA would succumb to his charm, and stronger than it had to Cooper before him.

It still didn’t stop the annoyance sparking up as he watched that theater guy fawning over Blaine, like he’d known him forever. And what the hell was he even getting up to, asking Blaine about his high school show choir times? Probably just one more person who couldn’t let go of his high school glory days. Sebastian was just _waiting_ for him to bring up the indie band he definitely had been in during high school…

He glared at his drink, trying to tune out Blaine’s loose conversation as well as his sister and Mercedes discussing something about dresses in a music video. Unfortunately, it took him a moment too long to realize just what this distribution meant.

“Pretty good night, hm?”

“Wonderful,” Sebastian said, turning towards his second favorite Anderson. If this was turning into another conversation about his intentions towards Blaine, he might just knock something over.

“So… your sister, what’s her deal?” Cooper asked instead. “Is she… seeing anyone?”

“She’s living in France,” Sebastian replied.

“I know, I know… Still, though. You think I got a shot?”

Sebastian couldn’t help but laugh. “No way in hell.”

Cooper stared at him wide-eyed. “Excuse me? So what, it’s totally fine for you to moon over my sibling like you’re a teenage girl and he’s Sparkle Motion, but the second I even look at your sister, you’re getting all overprotective?”

“Oh, please, your brother’s way hotter than that glittering icicle,” Sebastian said. “Also, screw you. Also, if I’m being protective of anyone in this, it’s you. Trust me, you don’t stand a chance with Colette. She’d eat you alive.”

Cooper looked slightly uncomfortable. “Is that literal?”

“Let’s say you don’t want to know,” Sebastian said. “Relax, we’ll find someone for you.”

“You did lapse in your wingman duties,” Cooper said. “You’re absolutely right, it’s about time you pick up your game.”

“That’s so not what I said.”

“Well, if you don’t help me pick up women, maybe you can help me pickup an anniversary gift for my parents,” Cooper said.

“Ask Blaine, he’s better at this stuff,” Sebastian said. “So, did they finalize their plans?”

“It’s going to be a pretty big party,” Cooper said. “Early September, so it’s actually amazing timing. We’re leaving the day after Blaine’s last show. Maybe this is a good thing. We haven’t been home since Nonna’s funeral. But honestly, I’m more worried about Blaine. Imagine coming into a family function when you’re freshly divorced.”

“Well, technically he isn’t divorced yet,” Sebastian said with a shrug. And didn’t that leave a bitter taste in his mouth. His eyes found Blaine, just far enough away that he couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but laughing and clearly entertained.

“What happened to your mood anyway?” Cooper asked. “You have that look again. What is it this time?”

“I don’t have a look,” Sebastian muttered.

“Suuuure,” Cooper said, looking around the bar. His eyes fell of course to where Blaine was still in a conversation with theater guy, from what Sebastian caught over the general conversation something about their senior year regionals performance. And of course, something clicked for Cooper, and he turned around to Sebastian. “Wait a second… oh come on, really?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “I just don’t get why he insisted we take this guy here…”

“Yeah, nobody insisted on anything, it was a normal invitation,” Cooper said. “Are you jealous?”

“No, I’m not!” Of course, Sebastian was very aware that every note in those words clearly stated the opposite. “But come on, even Blaine has to see this… that guy’s so clearly into him.”

Cooper snorted. “Okay, I’m like 99 percent sure that guy’s straight,” he said.

Sebastian turned, irritated. “How would you know?”

“Well, I’ll let you know, I happen to have an excellent gaydar,” Cooper said, “easily beating both my brother and you, by the way. Hell, I knew he was gay before he did.”

“My gaydar is perfect,” Sebastian said.

“You tried to hit on _me_ ,” Cooper reminded him.

Sebastian groaned. Like he’d ever live that down. “Only after I realized you were upset about a guy getting married,” he said.

“Well, I was right to be,” Cooper said. “Can you imagine all the trouble we all could have saved ourselves and especially Blaine if anybody had ever listened to me?”

Sebastian knew there had to be a ton of counter examples, but at the moment, he drew a blank. Somehow, Cooper had made a good point somewhere in there.

“Now, considering this piece of information, stop being a damn grinch and at least look happy,” Cooper said. “And let me help you with that.”

Sebastian wondered what would come next, when Cooper called out.

“Hey, Blaine, wanna weigh in here? Sebastian doesn’t believe me the historical accuracy of your little revolution. I mean, I get his point, there weren’t even any guillotines, but-“

“It wasn’t about that revolution,” Blaine said, shaking his head as he stepped closer.

Sebastian watched as his hanger on followed them, and even Mercedes and Colette joined their conversation as they went into the historical backgrounds, but all he could really focus on was how Blaine walked over to him, just close enough that it felt natural to slip an arm around his waist. Mid-sentence, Blaine looked up to him, and just… smiled. Sebastian grinned, and for a moment just allowed himself to enjoy how happy he looked. And maybe, he did cast a glance towards the theater guy, just to make sure he saw their posture. To his credit, he didn’t even seem to notice, instead listening to Colette detailing the different revolutions and for some reason the historical context of Napoleon. And hadn’t their grandparents made sure they could recite that spiel in their sleep… Then again, he didn’t care too much about listening anyway, not when Blaine was so relaxed, and calm… Yeah, fine, he could deal with the history lecture…

Unfortunately, Cooper could not.

“Twelve o’clock,” he muttered. “I need your help.”

Sebastian followed his gaze and immediately saw what girl Cooper was talking about. Dark hair, he’d guess around thirty, just walking away from a guy looking pretty disappointed.

“How about a little game of Have You met Cooper?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “That doesn’t actually work,” he said.

“We’ll know in a moment. Come on, Bells.”

“Good luck,” Blaine called after them, clearly amused.

Sebastian turned back, mouthing _traitor_ at him, but Blaine just turned around, laughing.

“You know, I really feel good about this,” Cooper said.

Well, at least someone was.

* * *

As Blaine leaned against the bar, he felt completely relaxed. It was probably something about the combination of a great show, his newest revelation, as well as the little amount of alcohol in his veins. He made a point of not getting drunk beyond a bit tipsy – he did have another show tomorrow – but it was enough to enhance that feeling of serenity. At the other end of the bar, he could see Cooper making a fool of himself, and Sebastian caught somewhere between second-hand embarrassment and schadenfreude at the awkwardness of the situation. It always felt a bit strange, but oh so welcome to watch the two of them together, like a reminder that Sebastian had found a secure place in their family.

While he still couldn’t quite figure out Sebastian’s sister, it was already a relief that she didn’t react to him with the immediate dislike their father had. Maybe there was some hope there. Most importantly, he was relieved that she integrated so well in the group. Even Connor seemed to be getting along well with everyone. Right now, he was asking Mercedes question about her career so far, mostly the technicalities of signing on with a label, how she managed with writing her own songs.

“Do you think he’s planning his own musical breakout?”

He looked to Colette, who was watching the conversation between Connor and Mercedes with interest.

“Maybe,” Blaine said. He was definitely asking more practical questions than purely curious ones.

“You really had a wonderful show,” she said after a moment. “I’m glad Sebastian invited me to see you.”

“It was really nice of you to come,” he said, smiling at her. “I thought you were leaving Monday.”

“I was,” she said, raising her hand to push a strand of hair behind her ear. “But I couldn’t really miss this, could I?” She smiled, and Blaine saw something of the relaxation he felt himself reflected in it. “You were really good. I can see why Sebastian is impressed.”

Blaine felt his cheeks heat up with a blush, as he looked aside. He wouldn’t even try to deny it. He would never quite understand what Sebastian saw in him… but he was slowly getting to the point where he wouldn’t deny that he was clearly seeing something.

“It’s funny,” she continued, “he never really talks about what’s going on in his life. I guess we never were the kind of siblings that talked things through. We should have been, but… neither of us is very emotional.”

“I know he’s really fond of you,” Blaine said, “even if he tries to play too tough to admit it.”

She smiled, a sparkle in her green eyes that were way too close to Sebastian’s. “I know. And it’s not like we never talk. Just not that often. We just don’t call each other about advice. Well, he did, kind of about you. Twice, even. So, obviously I wasn’t going to miss an opportunity to meet the legend, so to speak.”

Blaine laughed, shaking his head. “Hope you’re not too disappointed.”

“Well, I can see what he meant,” she said. “Don’t be so modest.”

“He said that, too,” Blaine said. “I just don’t really get it. Besides, I don’t think your father was too impressed with me…”

“Maybe,” Colette said, although she sounded just a bit too easily dismissive, “but he isn’t easily impressed. Don’t worry about it. Maybe he’s just careful, considering the first time he heard your name, it was Sebastian warning him that there might be assault charges coming his way…”

Blaine grimaced. “I remember. But… that was a long time ago.”

“For what it’s worth, he was really torn up about the whole thing,” she said. “That was like the first time he ever asked for advice. I hated hearing him so upset, even though that was the easy one. It’s just a lot easier to tell your brother he’s being a dumbass, than just having to listen while he figures out a breakup…”

Blaine stopped, looking at her quizzically. As far as he knew, Sebastian had only had one breakup, and he had the sudden memory of seeing Jackson recently. Sebastian had made the decision itself sound easy, but looking back to how hurt he’d been back then, how miserable he’d felt not about Jackson but about his own self-image… it made sense, that he’d needed to talk to someone back then. It made something seize up in Blaine’s heart, wishing Sebastian had reached out to him, even when he understood perfectly well why he wouldn’t have considered that an option. “What did he tell you about that?” he asked.

Her eyes roamed over the room until they landed on her brother. “He called me right after that big fight they had, after he stormed out of their apartment. Should have known better than to move in with someone so fast. Total disaster really, from start to finish, even before he had his epiphany.” She didn’t quite make air quotes around the last word, but they were very obviously implied in the tone of her voice. “Mostly, he just needed someone to listen while he came to his own conclusions. I find that’s the best strategy when dealing with my brother, really. He’s smart, he just doesn’t always think things through.”

“He’s probably one of the most deliberate people I know,” Blaine said.

She looked at him almost with pity. “I can only imagine,” she said, looking over to where Cooper had apparently given up his quest for the night. Sebastian was following him, a smirk on his face, and somehow, he seemed… lighter, than he had for most of the night.

Until suddenly, Blaine realized something, and turned towards her. “Wait, what epiphany?”

Just for a moment, she looked at him as if caught, but before he had any chance to dig any further, he felt Cooper’s arm falling onto his shoulders.

“Not my night,” his brother declared, “although I guess it’s supposed to be your night, anyway. Still, you do understand what we have to do, right?”

“Do I want to know?” Blaine asked, casting a questioning look towards Sebastian, who simply mouthed what looked a lot like “Run.”

“We should go on the Bachelor,” Cooper said. “The both of us, make it a double feature – straight and gay Bachelor.”

“That’s the dumbest idea you’ve had this week,” Sebastian replied, sliding in to stand at Blaine’s other side.

“I’d go so far and say this month,” Blaine said, shaking off his brother’s arm.

“I still can’t believe you two are related,” Connor said, shaking his head as he and Mercedes rejoined the group.

Blaine knew that just a few years ago, this remark probably would have thrown him off, immediately assuming he was once more judged and found wanting in comparison to his larger than life older brother. But now, tipsy more with the excitement of a new show than with alcohol, with Cooper here to celebrate him, Sebastian’s hand resting somewhere around his waist and friends here to support him, just the thought of that old jealousy felt distant.

“We’re still waiting for the result of the DNA test,” Sebastian answered in his stead. “So, don’t worry, B, there’s still hope for you.”

Cooper gasped and looked offended for just one moment, before shaking his head with a melodramatic sigh. “I was about to ask whose side you’re on, but…”

“That one’s pretty obvious,” Mercedes finished the sentence.

“Imagine that,” Blaine said, smiling up at Sebastian. There was something soft in his expression, almost shy.

Not yet, Blaine reminded himself. Not quite yet.

But man, could he not wait to get there.


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, just as a warning, updates are probably going to slow down a bit, as work is getting a bit... intense (inside pun for myself, yay), as well as some other projects intruding.   
> That being said, let's dive into Sebastian's angst, Cooper's talent for giving advice, and Blaine taking baby steps at communicating.

* * *

Sebastian wasn’t even sure where the last few weeks had gone, but August was drawing to an end, and with it Les Misérables’ run in Los Angeles. By the end of the week, the show would be over. To his relief, Blaine hadn’t seemed worried about it. Through the producers and actors, he’d managed to get a few more contacts. More importantly, the show had given him back his confidence that had taken quite a hit through the move and divorce. When he stepped on stage, it was so easy to see that Blaine again, the one that had left Dalton and everyone he came in contact with heart broken over losing him. It was only a matter of time until he’d shine even brighter than that. And maybe, just maybe this time he might be able to see at least part of it himself.

“I’ve been thinking about another audition. I could probably get a spot this week, I’m just not sure yet. It’s also a bit of a weird show…” Blaine said, just as Sebastian pulled in one of the parking spots near the theater. It was a sunny day, too hot to put up with the busses, so he’d offered to take his friend to work before meeting his study group.

“You did a show called Urinetown,” Sebastian said, “what exactly would you call weird?”

Blaine rolled his eyes, looking away even as the blush rose in his cheeks. “It’s Cats.”

Sebastian turned, staring at him. “Excuse me?”

“It’s just an idea,” Blaine said, holding up his hands. “I know it’s weird, but it’s not so bad to branch out into other roles, right?”

“I don’t think you have to worry about typecasting just yet,” Sebastian said. “What role would you even go for?”

“I’ve been thinking about auditioning for Mr. Mistoffelees,” Blaine said, “he’s the magical cat.”

“Yeah, I know,”” Sebastian said, waving the explanation away as they got out of the car.

“But maybe it’s not the best idea. They’re asking for strong dancers…”

“So?” Sebastian asked. “Sure, you won’t win a competition, but it’s not like you’re stumbling over your feet.”

“I haven’t exactly had a lot of dance training,” Blaine said. “Maybe I should get a coach.”

Now, that was very close to insulting. “Excuse me? All you ever had to do was say a word,” Sebastian said. “Give me three weeks and I’ll whip you into shape.”

Blaine looked at him surprised, as if he honestly hadn’t considered that an option. “Are you sure?”

“Please, I got _Trent_ to not embarrass himself. You’ll be a cakewalk in comparison.”

And there it was again. That damn look. Sebastian couldn’t quite say when he noticed it, especially since looking back, it felt like he’d seen shadows of it basically since the day they met. Blaine looked at him with something akin to surprise, touched. Like this, a stupid, simple offer to go over some dance routines was exceeding expectations. And fine, that alone Sebastian might be able to attribute to the mysterious but undeniable fact that Blaine just wouldn’t recognize how amazing he was. But there was more than that, a warmth that Sebastian was pretty sure was directed at him alone. It would be fine if he could just accept that, maybe use it to prop up his ego. Instead, he found himself hopeful.

Hope was dangerous, and so hard to get under control. _So close_ …

“I’ll… yeah, okay. Let’s do that,” Blaine said, eventually, and it took Sebastian a moment to return to the conversation they’d been having. He really needed to get a better grip if Blaine kept looking at him like that.

“Seriously, though, Cats?” Sebastian asked, trying to get their talk back to a more casual level. “And not even the hip-thrust cat…”

“That is _not_ the description for the Rum Tum Tugger,” Blaine said.

Sebastian shook his head. “I can’t talk to you when you’re this unreasonable.”

Blaine laughed, bumping his elbow in Sebastian’s side. It was good. Familiar. Friendly. Not enough. There was a bitter taste inside Sebastian’s mouth. Never enough, and weren’t those the cursed words of his life…

And as if the universe had noticed the mood he was already in, of course they were greeted by Blaine’s latest hanger-on. Again, that theater guy came closer, another dumb band shirt, another ridiculous hair-do. And again, Blaine greeted him with a smile.

“Oh, great,” Sebastian muttered.

It wasn’t like Blaine actually talked about that guy a lot, apart from the occasional mention. He was probably mentioned less than the slave driver of a director, which supposedly gave him flashbacks to his cheerleading coach. But every occasion he’d met the guy, maybe half a dozen times by now, he’d seemed just a bit… too interested, asking question especially about Blaine’s time in high school and show choir. Seriously, could people not leave high school behind? But maybe Blaine just drew people like that to him. From what he gathered most of New Directions seemed to share that attitude. Except Mercedes, who actually went on to peak after high school. And fine, Lopez could be entertaining. But that was where he drew the line.

“So, Penny asked about you,” Connor said.

“Is it about my brother? Because I’m staying out of that,” Blaine said.

“I think it’s about a show,” Conner said.

“Okay?” Blaine said. “I guess I’ll check with her… I mean, I’ve been thinking about what to do next…” He turned around, again with a diminished version of that earlier look on his face, and Sebastian started to wonder how long it would take for him to just start screaming. “Thanks again for taking me,” Blaine said. “Have fun with your study group. Don’t be too mean.”

“I will make no such promise,” Sebastian said, smiling himself as Blaine walked off to talk to Cooper’s ex, hopefully about a role in a very different show than Cats.

“It’s always like this,” Connor said with a shrug, as if he honestly expected Sebastian to stick around for this conversation. “You know someone who knows someone… But in Blaine’s case, I think he really deserves it. He’s talented. Like, a lot.”

“You’re not saying,” Sebastian said.

“Didn’t you use to be a performer too? I thought I saw a video of you,” Connor said. “That must have been… I don’t remember the year, but weren’t you in that acapella choir? I saw videos from a Sectionals performance, where you were up against Blaine’s group. You sang a solo. Um… Live While We’re Young, I think?”

And that was the end of the line for Sebastian’s patience.

“Seriously, stop.”

Connor frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Your little crush or whatever is kind of cute – as in, cute you think he’ll pay attention to you. And maybe he does, he’s way too concerned that nobody feels left out, but don’t fool yourself into thinking there’s anything beyond that. He really is just that nice. So, moon over him all you want, fine. But you’re seriously tip-toeing into stalker territory.”

“Wait, what?” Connor asked, actually daring to look confused, like he had no idea what Sebastian was talking about.

“Are you seriously going back, dragging out all his show choir performances? I’d say looking up his old high school videos is almost as sad as the people on the show choir blogs still obsessing over him in their polls. And again, kind of stalker-ish. Do yourself a favor, and just stop. Because trust me, nice as he is, even he knows he can do better than _this_.”

Connor stared at him, slowly blinking, his mouth half open. “Wow,” he managed finally. “Uh… you have… _issues_ , dude.”

“I’ll say.”

Slowly, Sebastian turned. Well, of course, it was that kind of day. Blaine had come over at some point during his rant, that pretty blonde Penny a step behind him, looking at them critically.

“What’s going on?” Blaine asked.

Sebastian’s brain ran through a few excuses, but before he could even settle on one, Connor turned around. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

Blaine clearly wasn’t buying it. “Sebastian? What was that?”

This was probably the point where he should think of something smart, witty to explain himself, although he had a feeling that the truth probably wouldn’t go over too well with Blaine. It didn’t help that technically, Sebastian didn’t even have a leg to stand on here. After all, despite everything, he’d somehow ended up firmly in the friends category.

“Guys, it’s okay,” Connor said. “It’s just a misunderstanding.”

Well, at least Blaine seemed to be as confused as Sebastian was about that unexpected defense, his eyes darting between the two of them as if that would make either of them explain what that had been about. And honestly, that was not something Sebastian wanted to deal with right now.

“Well, fun as this was, I actually have somewhere to be,” he said. As he turned away, he caught just a glimpse of Blaine’s face, confused, just a hint of annoyed, before he was walking out of the building.

Yup. Definitely that kind of day.

* * *

“The point is, he’s a creep, but now I bet I’m the bad guy for pointing it out.”

“Sure. And your obvious jealousy has nothing to do with it.”

Sebastian looked up from where he was lying on the couch in irritation, but Cooper clearly wasn’t impressed. The older man was still lounging in his armchair, smiling at his reflection in a handheld mirror like a madman as he tried to figure out whether his latest teeth bleaching was up to his standards.

“You’re gross,” Sebastian muttered.

“I’m thorough,” Cooper replied. “And besides, you’re the one who barged in here to get some of my endless wisdom.”

“Like you have any, outside your wisdom teeth,” Sebastian said. On topic, at least.

“I had them removed ages ago,” Cooper said frowning.

“I know,” Sebastian said, letting his head rest on the couch again as he looked to the ceiling. He was annoyed enough as it was. The study group had been mostly annoying, and he already had a feeling that he wouldn’t get far with them – they had just the mix of nerdy and pedantic that he honestly expected any moment that someone would bring out a damn gavel – so he figured, just a bit of Cooper’s personal brand of insanity might help reset his mind.

It did, until the conversation inevitably landed on Blaine.

He’d never understand just how he had even gotten involved in that mess in the first place. Just to think if he’d known where it would lead, back at Dalton when all he’d heard were the tales of their legendary lost brother, and he’d first wondered just what it would do for his reputation if he managed to fuck their beloved hero… He had to go back to that point, because by the time Blaine’s eyes had met his, he’d probably been a lost case anyway.

It just wasn’t fair. He’d been _fine_ without Blaine. Sure, he’d taken a good hard look on his life and choices during the time they hadn’t been talking, and he’d made changes. But that hadn’t been about Blaine, that was more about being able to look at himself in the mirror. He’d put himself aside enough to actually help Blaine with that ridiculous proposal of his, had even managed to bite his tongue instead of telling him just how insane that idea was. And then, later, after the Dalton memorial when they finally reconnected, he’d been fine as well. He’d known that Blaine would remain nothing more than a fantasy. Sure, it had been obvious that the marriage had a snowball’s chance in hell, but he had a feeling he should never underestimate just how stubborn and persistent Blaine could be. He’d been happy with their friendship, had been grateful that they were able to keep such a strong connection alive, even through years where they barely saw each other, mostly communicating via text.

He was fine when he knew Blaine was just a fantasy. But now, Blaine was here, growing and shining even brighter with every day, and right in front of him, close enough to touch – but still, always, just out of his reach.

It was driving him insane, so much worse than it had even back in high school. All he could do was sit on the sideline, and wait, and watch. Not that it wasn’t a sight. Just the boost he’d gotten from Les Mis was insane. Blaine on that stage… He was coming into his own, and Sebastian knew, he was absolutely hopeless. He’d give anything to see Blaine like this. Free, happy, _soaring_. And to think that he was just starting…

But Sebastian wasn’t the only one watching. And he could see, oh he _knew_ where this was going. He was enough of a cynic to see it coming. He’d sit back and help Blaine get to his feet, and spread his wings and fly, or whatever other metaphor he could think of throwing into the mix. And sure, now Blaine was looking at him with that smile, like he couldn’t quite believe Sebastian bothered to be there for him. But really, it was only a matter of time until Blaine would understand that it didn’t exactly take a lot to be better than Kurt Hummel. So, what was going to happen when Blaine took a look around, see all the things he could do with that shiny new life of his?

Hell, he might even find someone who deserved him. Not that theater geek in his band shirts, obviously. But reasonably, there had to be someone out there who was if not good enough for him, at least a whole damn lot better than Sebastian could hope to be.

It wasn’t that hard to see. And it absolutely sucked.

There was a harsh sigh, and when he looked up, Cooper was giving him that look again, the one where Sebastian was never quite sure whether he was just putting on a show or genuinely annoyed.

“Okay, I know this is hard for you to hear, and possibly harder for me to admit, but I’m actually not in the age bracket to be cast as the lead in teen dramas anymore. So stop your angst, it’s making me feel old.”

Sebastian sighed, shaking his head. “I’m not angsting.”

“Sure thing, Bells. And I’d believe you, if your melodrama wasn’t dripping all over my couch,” Cooper said. “But as it is, fine, apparently we need to deal with this once and for all.”

Sebastian looked at him with even more irritation. “What is that even supposed to mean?” he asked.

“It means, you need to get your head out of your ass, and do it pronto,” Cooper said. “Look, stop going crazy over Blaine. It’ll happen when it happens, you’re only going to give yourself an aneurysm with all this. What is even your problem? And don’t say that theater kid, because again, dude is straight, and Blaine’s super not into him. So what are you really worried about?”

Sebastian closed his eyes. Things always seemed easy when Cooper laid them out. But the unfortunate truth was that Cooper could have a too simplistic view of the world.

“Come on,” Cooper said, and now his voice sounded actually concerned, “you know I’m on your side here, right? You’ve made it through the last four years. Don’t tell me you’re losing your mind on the home stretch?”

“That’s the problem, isn’t it?” Sebastian spat out. “You always talk about this, like it’s a when and not an if. Because, hey, that’s your picture perfect idea. That’s how the story goes. You wait and be patient, and once he’s healed, you get the boy. Storybook ending, great. But last time I checked, we lived in the real world, and guess what, things don’t work out like that.”

“Of course, you don’t _know_ ,” Cooper said. “But that’s the whole point, right? If you love her, let her go. Just like in that lollipop song. And if she doesn’t come back, she never was yours in the first place. Or, well, _he_ in your case”

“I fucking know that, but it’s not fair.”

“Fair?” Cooper asked. “It’s dating, it sucks, of course it’s not fair. But come on, man. What do you want? A contract in which Blaine promises to be yours forever and ever? Do you think after you’ve invested so much time, and effort, and money into him, that you now have a claim to future revenue? That sounds like some Nice Guy crap. Is that really what you want to go with? Because in that case, I’ve got to tell you – that’s so lame, that I have to find a new nickname, because even Bella Swan has more backbone than that.”

It was ridiculous, it wasn’t true, it wasn’t fair, and Sebastian still wasn’t sure just why Cooper was still endlessly making Twilight references, but something about what he said struck a chord.

Was that what he was doing? Was that what it came down to? That he would sulk in the shadows while Blaine lived his best life right in front of him? And damn, he knew that he had no right to Blaine, of course he didn’t, but… there _was_ something between them. Blaine had to feel it, too.

But it was probably not enough. Never good enough.

Cooper was still talking, but honestly, Sebastian couldn’t deal with it anymore. He felt too raw, too bitter in a way that he ached to wash down with a drink or five.

“Where are you going? I’m mid lesson!” Cooper protested, but like hell was Sebastian going to turn around now. He threw the door open, for one moment relieved to see the elevator open right in front of him, until of course, Blaine was the one to step out. For a second, their eyes met, and then Sebastian turned around immediately, walked into the other direction to take the stairs. He slammed the door to the stairway, rushing down, just fast enough that he wouldn’t have to wonder whether Blaine would call after him.

This _really_ wasn’t his day.

* * *

Blaine looked after Sebastian for a moment, not sure what to make of it. He then looked to Cooper, who was standing in the open doorway, looking utterly frustrated.

“What was that?” Blaine asked. “What’s going on with him? Did I miss anything? He was so weird earlier… Well, actually everything was fine, until he went off on poor Connor for no reason. Is something going on with him”

“He didn’t listen to the lesson,” Cooper said, shaking his head as if in disappointment. “Why won’t he just stay a bit longer and listen to the lesson?”

“I’m almost afraid to ask, but what lesson?” Blaine asked as they walked back into the apartment. Cooper wasted no time throwing himself back into the armchair, draping himself over it as if he was preparing for a photo shoot.

“Oh, you know,” Cooper said, clearly vague on intention. “I was giving him some words of wisdom, but for some reason he wasn’t so receptive.”

“What wisdom?” Blaine asked with a growing sense of dread.

“Oh, the usual. You know, that old gem, if you love her, let her go.”

“Her?”

“You, but still-“ Cooper stopped, then stared at him, mouth half open, as if he’d just realized what he’d said. “I mean… Can you forget I just said that?”

Suddenly, it felt like Blaine’s head was spinning. “What do you mean, let me go? Why would you say that to him?”

Cooper had never given him any indication to think he’d have a problem with whatever he and Sebastian would do. Why was his own brother working against him here?

“Wait, that’s the part that gave you pause?” Cooper asked. “Not that… you know, that it’s about you?”

“Uh, I know it’s about me,” Blaine said, “I thought that much was obvious by now. Why are you telling him to let me go? Are you not okay with this?”

Now Cooper looked at him like he was the one who wasn’t making sense here. “Wait, _you’re_ okay with it?” he asked. “Huh… and here I bet you’d take at least a few more months.”

Blaine sighed, as he walked to the couch and let himself sink into the cushions. Clearly, this conversation would get a bit deeper than he’d expected. And to think that he’d mostly wanted to call it an early night, exhausted after the night’s performance.

“I’m not saying I’m ready,” he said, “but… yeah. In the future… why wouldn’t I be? The question is, why are you telling him to let me go?”

Cooper groaned in frustration, shaking his head. “You know what? You two are perfect for each other. Just like him, you refuse to listen to the second part of the advice.”

“Okay, then tell me everything,” Blaine said, slowly losing patience. “Because I want to know exactly what you said to him.”

“He was a bit jealous,” Cooper said, “of that theater friend of yours, who I by the way told him is completely straight. So I tried to remind him that while you’re getting over the breakdown of your epic mistake of a marriage, he’s not guaranteed that you’ll want to be with him afterwards. You know, so he doesn’t feel entitled to you or anything.”

“He doesn’t feel entitled,” Blaine said, not even trying to keep the irritation out of his voice.

“I know that, you know that, he knows that. We all know it,” Cooper said. “I used a literary device called _Reductio ad absurdum_.”

“What script did you steal that from?” Blaine muttered under his breath.

“See, I painted a picture of how he clearly isn’t – sitting back and waiting for you to be well enough, as if he is entitled to it. You know, that whole friend-zone picture - put in kindness coins, until sex falls out? And the next part of the lesson is that clearly that picture doesn’t depict reality, so can he please stop obsessing over this?”

Blaine leaned back against the couch cushions, closing his eyes. He hadn’t expected it would all be such a mess, really, but now it was kind of strange to think he’d ever even considered it could be easy. “So, you told him all that and then he stormed out?”

“No, I didn’t get to the second part,” Cooper said.

Blaine’s eyes shot open, and he looked over to Cooper. “Wait… so… you said to him… you, his best friend, you basically called him a creep who feels entitled to me?”

“It was supposed to be absurd. He knows it’s not like that!” Cooper protested. “I don’t think it’s like that. Like I’d ever encouraged him if I thought he was creeping on you. But he was just in such a damn angsty mood, I’m not even sure he got anything of what I tried to get through to him. I guess from the way he stormed out, he probably got stuck on the whole _it’s not a when_ , which… of course it isn’t, he shouldn’t expect it to be…”

“Wait…” Blaine shook his head, still trying to wrap his mind around just what had gone wrong. Something was going on with Sebastian, that much was clear. More than just Cooper’s thoughtless remarks, and yes, fine, he knew that it was probably somehow about him. He just didn’t know where to even start… Although, maybe now he did. “It is a when. We’re… I thought that was the whole point.”

Cooper blinked, and for once he looked honestly surprised. “You… You really put some thought into this, didn’t you?”

“It’s my life, of course I thought about it,” Blaine said. “I’m trying to build my life back up, I need at least some idea of where it’s going, right? That’s not a bad thing.”

“Honestly, it’s a great thing,” Cooper said, but there was still something in the tone of his voice that sounded awfully close to exasperation. “And I’m so happy for you. But, um… did you ever consider sharing this particular epiphany with Sebastian?”

Blaine frowned. He hadn’t, of course he hadn’t. He’d tried to keep it to himself, after all what was the point in saying something when he wasn’t in a position to do anything about it? Besides, he remembered what Sebastian had said, that he’d be here when Blaine figured things out. They hadn’t talked about it, fine. But Sebastian knew.

Sebastian had to know.

…he _had_ to…

Oh, fuck.

“I mean, I didn’t know,” Cooper continued, as if the ground beneath Blaine’s feet hadn’t just completely shifted, “and you know I’m a genius at reading people.”

“I thought he knew,” Blaine said.

Cooper groaned again, shaking his head. “You two, I _swear_ … So, what are you going to do about this mess?”

“I need the car,” Blaine said without hesitation. “I need to fix this. Can I have the keys?”

Cooper gave him another judgmental look, but nevertheless got them out of his pocket and threw them to Blaine. “Just use your mouth this time?” Cooper asked. “Actually, forget that. Use your _words_!”

* * *

It had never felt so long, standing in front of Sebastian’s door and waiting for an answer. He’d even began wondering whether he’d be let in at all, if he should try calling his phone, or if Sebastian was home in the first place, until he, at last, heard movement inside.

Finally, Sebastian opened the door, and froze once he saw him.

“Blaine?” he asked. “What are you doing here?”

“Can I come in?”

Sebastian nodded, stepping aside and then following Blaine as he walked ahead into his bedroom. There as a glass with an amber liquid standing on his nightstand, only half full at this point.

“I talked to Cooper,” Blaine said after Sebastian closed the door. “Look, he means well, he just says stupid things sometimes. And in his defense, if you’d let him finish, it probably would only have been about half as stupid. But he told me what he said, and… well, I saw how you reacted, and I just…” He chuckled, shaking his head. “I was trying to do it right. To not make a complete mess of things. Except by doing so, I messed it up even worse, and I’m sorry.”

“No, stop.”

He did, looking up in confusion as Sebastian leaned against the door. He looked perfectly disheveled, his hair just a bit messed up, his shirt unbuttoned, but there was just something in his face, a defeated expression, that made the whole picture completely heartbreaking.

“He told you everything?” Sebastian asked.

Blaine nodded.

Sebastian sighed, leaning back against the door. “Look, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t…”

“Don’t be sorry,” Blaine said. “He was just trying to make a point by being absurd. But… it doesn’t matter.”

Sebastian looked at him, and god, did Blaine hate that expression on his face. It was too close to how defeated he’d looked last year, too close to the expression Jackson had put on his face. Blaine never wanted to see it again. With renewed purpose, he walked closer, right until he could put his hands onto Sebastian’s shoulders.

“It’s ridiculous, and it’s not true. Just… think, please, for a moment. You’ve been there for me whenever I needed you in the last years, for every step. I’m probably relying more on you than I should, and you never make me feel like a chore. I know, I said some really dumb things after the wedding… but I was so insecure back then, and it was more about my own head than anything you did. I trust you, Sebastian. Completely. And whatever nonsense Cooper said, I don’t see you like that. I know you care about me. That picture Cooper drew… it’s completely absurd. That was his point, he thought you’d immediately see how ridiculous it is. And it is, Sebastian, I’d never see you that way.”

Something softened in Sebastian’s expression, enough that Blaine felt encouraged to let his arms slip around him, as Sebastian’s arms came up to embrace him.

“Okay,” Sebastian said, his voice just a bit too rough. “I’m still sorry, though. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me… even earlier, at the theater. I shouldn’t have freaked out. I know, I have no right to be jealous…”

With a sigh, Blaine stepped back, making sure to look into his eyes. “Forget right, you have no _reason_ to be.”

Sebastian was still looking at him like that, vulnerable, his eyes just a bit glassy, as if he either didn’t understand or didn’t believe. With a sigh, Blaine put a hand on his cheek, softly stroking as he kept speaking.

“I know you’re jealous about Connor, but you have absolutely no reason to be,” he said. “I’m pretty sure he has a girlfriend, not that it matters, because I promise I’m not interested in him romantically. He’s just someone I get along with, and we both know I could use some more friends.”

Sebastian blinked, opened his mouth to speak, but Blaine hadn’t made his point yet, and he could not get distracted again.

“No,” he said, shaking his head, “I need you to listen to me, because this is important. I’m still not all there yet. But… I _am_ getting there. I feel like I’m finding myself again. And… do you really think that I’m doing all this, just to find some random person? It’s you, Sebastian. I’m not stable enough yet, but you have to know, there couldn’t be anyone else. I just need a little more time. And if you think it’s too long, then… well, I won’t lie, that would hurt, but I’d get over it. But don’t think I’ll go through all this and then choose someone else. I don’t want anyone else.”

Sebastian was staring at him, and Blaine just wished for he could figure out what was going on in that complicated brain of his. “Blaine…”

“We’re a when, Sebastian. Not an if.”

Just for a second, he could swear he saw something click behind Sebastian’s eyes. This time, he saw it coming, was rising to the tip of his feet maybe even before Sebastian moved, and they met in the middle, their lips connecting as if on instinct.

It felt familiar, so much like the first time they had kissed, and maybe now, Blaine finally understood. This was pure need, he figured that much, but not a physical one. This was Sebastian needing to feel him, to feel the connection between them. With his silver tongue and all the pretty words he made, was it really such a surprise that he believed actions and touches more?

But it was different this time. He didn’t have to hold back, to remind himself that this had to end, that this had to stop… Because, well, it didn’t. Now, he could put his arms around Sebastian all he wanted, kiss him back, allow himself to melt against him, moan at the feeling of Sebastian’s hand dragging through his hair…

It was hard to remember the point he was trying to make, when it was so easy to drown in Sebastian. In some part of his mind, he tried to tell himself that this served a purpose, that while boundaries seemed so important, right now they didn’t matter as much as showing Sebastian, proving to him that this was real. All true, and still nothing compared with how much he had missed this. Why did they ever waste any moment not doing this?

And then, for some insane, indecipherable reason, Sebastian pulled back.

Blaine looked up at him, blinking, not understanding. Sebastian’s eyes were blown, a thin emerald ring around his pupil, and just for a second Blaine could see the hunger, and it sent a shudder down his spine. But then, Sebastian pushed it away, and the next second he was grinning, just a hint of deviousness, but mostly relief, happiness.

“Okay,” he muttered. “Damn…”

Blaine stared at him, his mouth half open, and he couldn’t think of one single word to say. Maybe this was a good thing, take a moment to breathe, not do anything stupid. But Sebastian was there, right there, _so close_ , and it had been _months_ , and how could Sebastian look so damn collected?

Except… now that he honestly took a moment to breathe, it didn’t seem that collected after all. His inhales came just a bit too harsh as they went past his half-open lips, his eyes wandering to Blaine’s throat as he gulped… But there was something else, something painful and maybe even scared, that slowly took over until the heat almost faded.

“Blaine…” His voice was barely above a whisper. He was beautiful like this, haunted, dismayed.

“What’s wrong?” Blaine asked. He could feel the fire run through his veins, the want, no need, to feel Sebastian close, and it would be so easy to give in. So easy, if Sebastian wasn’t looking at him like this.

“Nothing,” Sebastian said. “It’s just… I don’t want to mess this up again.”

They did have a hand for that, messing things up. He only had to think back to the fight they had after the wedding. Then again, it was pretty obvious what had been behind that fight. Miscommunication, the story of his life. Definitely one of the problems that had brought down his marriage. But he wasn’t going to dissect that particular minefield, not while Sebastian was right there, in need of reassurance.

“We always make a mess of things if we don’t talk to each other,” Blaine said. “The truth is… I’m completely awful at communicating. But I’m trying, I want to get this right, Sebastian. And if you think this would be a bad idea, then… that’s okay. It is. I might have to step outside for a moment, but…”

Sebastian chuckled. “Been there,” he muttered, before thankfully dropping another kiss against Blaine’s lips, soft and short, before sighing. “Blaine… I know you’re not there… And… I get it, and that’s okay. But… can you… I just need to know we’re going in the same direction.”

It was almost enough to break his heart, but Blaine pushed the feeling aside. He’d deal with it at some other point. “We are,” he said instead, “never believe anything else.”

And somehow, finally, he for once had managed to say the right thing, as Sebastian looked at him, relief clear in his face, before he bowed down to crash their lips back together. It didn’t have quite the same desperation it had before, not that absolute need for reassurance. This was a different need, and one Blaine understood oh so well. Boundaries were one thing, yes, a very important thing. But sometimes, they just had to be discarded. Like Sebastian’s shirt. That had to go, right now.

For a moment, Sebastian stopped, a hand on Blaine’s cheek, and it was so obvious that he was about to ask once more, if this was okay, if this was a good idea even. But whatever he saw in Blaine’s face must have answered the question, as he went right back to kissing him, pushing him backwards until they fell onto the bed.

And really, Blaine thought, why hold back now, when this was clearly what they both wanted, when they were finally on the same page?

It was about the last coherent thought that night.


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are so many things I want to write right now, but since the latest draft of my thesis is done, I suddenly lost my procrastination drive. Whatever am I going to do?  
> Apparently what I've been doing so far.  
> So, here we go with chapter 7, the next party chapter, in which Blaine also gets a clue dropped onto that pretty little head of his.

* * *

Sebastian knew he didn’t exactly have a lot of practice in facing his own demons, or deal with whatever issues he might have. Usually, it was just that much easier to push whatever was bothering him aside, drown himself in whatever vice seemed most helpful at the time, and only return to whatever problem was at hand when time had passed and it didn’t seem that pressing any more. Healthy? Probably not. But he’d say it worked about ninety percent of the time.

Obviously, Blaine was an exception to that as well.

He was glad they had talked. Not only that they had removed the misunderstanding, but even that Blaine had cared enough to reach out. God knew Sebastian hadn’t been about to. But things were a lot clearer, and now he could just sit back and enjoy Blaine’s last performance as Enjolras. And wasn’t that a glorious sight.

Right now, it was hard to remember what he’d been so upset about just a few days ago. Cooper had actually apologized, even if it had been in the form of a monologue from King Lear, but still, it was a nice gesture. The thing with Blaine… well, they were still kind of in the air, but it didn’t feel as hopeless anymore. They weren’t together, although now he allowed himself to at least think the _“not yet_ ”. But something had shifted. Now, when Blaine walked up to them after the show, he could let himself be the first to step up, have him slip into his embrace and kiss the top of his head. And maybe, his thoughts wandered back to the other night, to that shiny new memory of Blaine, moaning around him, looking up at him with eyes almost black from want…

And he was going to put that memory far away right now that Blaine looked up at him, in public, surrounded by people, literally radiating happiness and pride over the last performance in an incredible run of a show. Not the time nor the place, Sebastian reminded himself and told himself he’d imagined that glint in Blaine’s eyes.

Maybe they weren’t quite on the same page yet, but at least they seemed to be in the same chapter.

He caught Cooper’s eyes over the top of Blaine’s hair, rolling his eyes, then winking, and then he dragged Blaine away, finally insisting on his big brother hugging rights.

“You really didn’t have to come see it again,” Blaine said when he stepped away from his brother, although the beaming smile on his face said otherwise.

“What, and miss your closing night?” Cooper asked.

“By which he means the closing night party,” Sebastian added. “And yes, Penny is looking at you.”

Both brothers turned around, just in time to see the actress blush and look away. Unfortunately, that also caught someone else’s eye. Suddenly, Connor was walking up to them – for once, in a sensible shirt instead of a band t-shirt – and waved, beaming with excitement.

“Blaine, oh my god! First of all, amazing show! Second – I want you to meet someone.”

Blaine had already opened his mouth as if he was going to say something – hopefully to dampen his enthusiasm – but at this announcement, Sebastian could basically see his manners kick in. “Uh… thank you, and sure, who?”

Sebastian looked behind Connor to see a brunette girl following him. Before he could get a closer look, she gasped.

“Blaine?”

He looked at her, and before the “Oh my god” had left his mouth, they were hugging each other, laughing, as if this was some reunion after years. Frowning, Sebastian stepped towards Connor.

“Okay, what is happening?”

Connor laughed. “Only what I’ve been planning for the last two months.” He noticed Sebastian’s confusion and grinned. “That’s Marley, my girlfriend. She was in France for a summer school music program, just came back this week. Blaine and her were in show choir together.”

Sebastian blinked, and suddenly, he felt really dumb. “That’s why you’ve been asking about New Directions all the time?”

Connor nodded. “She was always so nostalgic about them. They made her transfer schools after the club was disbanded, and she basically lost contact with almost all of them.”

“If it makes her feel better, Blaine lost contact with a lot of his friends over his marriage,” Sebastian said. He hesitated, but then again, it couldn’t make things worse. “I’m sorry, by the way. For going off on you the other day. I really misread the situation, I thought-“

“That I was hitting on your boyfriend?” Connor finished the sentence. “Yeah, I figured that out. And I’m sorry for giving you the impression. I just really wanted this to be a surprise.”

“Well, good job,” Sebastian admitted. He looked at Blaine, and that girl – Marley – how happy they both looked as they started to catch up. He remembered what Blaine had said, about needing more friends. This was a good thing, and definitely not something Sebastian should ever work against. “So, are we…”

“We’re cool,” Connor said. “But I will bring that up on a regular base to make fun of you.”

Sebastian chuckled. “And here I was starting to think you were just that nice. Nobody’s that nice.”

Connor looked at his girlfriend, a fond smile on his face. “Some people are.”

Sebastian followed his gaze, but he couldn’t help to be drawn to Blaine, and the way he smiled. Easy, relaxed, glowing. “Yeah… I guess some people are.”

* * *

Blaine felt like his whole body was buzzing. The closing night party had taken them to one of the clubs nearby, that they had occasionally visited after shows. Almost all of the cast had made it, and even though he’d only been with them for part of the run, he felt completely at home with them. Of course, the most important part was sharing the occasion with his friends. They were a few drinks in, and he’d already posted more than one picture of them in various poses, Sebastian always close, Cooper trying so desperately to involve Penny in the pictures, and Marley, not as shy as she’d been when they first met, but he still needed to coax her into the pictures.

Blaine was a bit sad that Les Mis was ending, but it had been such a good run, and already he’d made several contacts. Penny had promised to get him an audition once he came back from Ohio – Avenue Q, and he still hadn’t figured out if he was sticking to safe, familiar things, or if this was a string of doing things again, but better. It didn’t matter. At least he’d lost that feeling of dread, that he might not be good enough for LA and his new life. His career might not be a safe thing, but he’d known that from the moment he’d decided to be an actor. At least, it didn’t feel hopeless.

Sebastian stayed close all the time, and they were touching more often than not. Most of it was harmless, a hand on his hip, pushing a curl of hair out of Blaine’s forehead, their hands brushing together… but always there. Maybe one day Blaine would tell him how much it meant, that he’d sit in the audience to watch Blaine, even if he knew the play, even if he’d seen it before, not only for support but because he actually enjoyed it. Then again, he thought as Sebastian’s thumb rubbed circles into the skin over his hipbone, right where the bruise he’d sucked in just a few days ago was beginning to fade, he probably already knew.

Cooper was chatting up Penny – again – but it seemed like she was for some reason warming up to him. Blaine wasn’t sure whether this was a good or a bad thing, but there was just the slightest bit of hope that his brother might have matured just a bit. And really, Cooper would probably be lucky if she gave him the time of a day anyway.

And then, of course, there was Marley. On some level he knew, he should feel guilty for never reaching out to her, to let her slip through the cracks so easily even after New Directions had been reformed. Then again, like Mercedes before her, getting away from the McKinley drama had only served her well. She’d studied music and had written dozens of songs. Of course, her biggest news was the summer school in Paris she’d just returned from.

“Sebastian’s from Paris!” Blaine said excitedly, nodding to the other man who was still resting an arm around his waist.

“I lived there,” Sebastian corrected him. “Hey, I’ll step out for a moment, kay? I got a missed call from Colette, just want to make sure everything’s okay.”

Blaine nodded, trying not to shudder as Sebastian let his fingers run over his cheek for a moment, before he turned and left. When he looked back at Marley, she was sighing.

“You two are adorable,” she said. “How long have you been together?”

Blaine’s face fell, and he sighed. “We’re not… it’s a bit complicated.”

“Why?” Marley asked. “Sorry, it’s just… you two seem all over each other.”

Blaine chuckled. “Yeah, it’s… it’s definitely going there. But… I just left Kurt four months ago. I’m still technically married, and right now, it looks like that’s going to take a long time to be dissolved. I know that I want to be with Sebastian. It’s just… I want to get this right. It has to be the right timing.”

“Timing is the worst,” Marley said with a sigh. “I get it, though. And… can I say something weird?”

He looked at her, nodding.

“I’m kind of happy for you. For the divorce.” She shook her head. “That sounds like such an awful thing to say… But, I mean, I never really saw you and Kurt being together. I only met him a few times, so maybe I can’t judge the situation at all. I just saw you being miserable over him much more than I saw you being happy with him. And the times you were the happiest… those weren’t the times he was there with you. You were happy with Sam and Tina, and with New Directions… basically, when you were by yourself. Even when you were back together, it didn’t seem like you were happy because of it. It’s like your happiness had nothing to do with him.”

“It wasn’t quite like that,” Blaine said. “It wasn’t all awful. But there were lot of times that I was miserable, and lots of times when I had to hold back. I think I tried really hard to be what he wanted me to be. And I became miserable. But now…” He shrugged. “It feels like I’m getting back to who I really am. And I’m a lot happier.”

“I can see it,” she said.

“So, what’s next for you?” Blaine asked.

She sighed. “I honestly don’t know,” she said. “I have a job at a local radio station, and I really love it – especially that I get to choose so much about the program. There’s so much music out there that doesn’t get the attention it deserves… But what I really want to do is play my own music. I’ve been writing a lot, but so far I only play at that coffee shop. I’ve been writing to labels, but it’s not that easy.”

“I’d love to hear your new songs,” Blaine said, “you’ve always been so talented with it. You should talk to Mercedes, I know she’s been having some problems with her label, but she’s sorting them out. Maybe she can give you some tips, or even get you in touch with the right people.”

“That would be amazing,” Marley said, “only if it’s not too much trouble for her? I’d hate for her to feel like I was trying to use her or anything…”

“I don’t think you could do that to anyone,” Blaine said, “but don’t worry. I honestly think you’d get along really well, by the way. She’s got her life so together, it’s kind of amazing. I know I can learn a lot from her…”

“Maybe I could, too,” Marley admitted. “It’s just… okay, don’t laugh, but she can seem a bit larger than life, don’t you think?”

“I… yeah. I know what you mean,” Blaine said.

They were both laughing. A moment later Connor came over, bringing a new cocktail for Marley and dropping a kiss into her hair. He sat down with them, whispering something into Marley’s ear. Blaine took the moment to look around. Cooper and Penny were at the bar, but he could find no trace of Sebastian. He was probably still outside, and for a moment Blaine wondered whether there was reason to worry.

“Everything okay?” Marley asked.

“Yeah, sure,” Blaine said quickly. “I just… I think I’ll check on Sebastian.”

When he stepped outside the club, the air was refreshingly cool. He closed his eyes just for a moment to take a few breathes, before looking around. There were a few people standing outside, some smoking, others chatting, and he could see a couple making out against the wall. But none of them was what Blaine was looking for. As he scanned the area, he finally spotted a familiar tall figure.

Sebastian was leaning against the wall of the club, almost hidden behind some of the plantings, his arms crossed defensively in front of his chest, and an expression on his face that told Blaine he was severely pissed off. When he stepped closer, he saw that Sebastian wasn’t alone. Someone was facing him, arms crossed as well, but his expression more reminding Blaine of a disappointed teacher.

It was Jackson.

He looked a lot less put together than the last two times Blaine had seen him, like he’d definitely drunk something. Blaine stepped closer, pressing himself against the wall behind the plantings, a spot where he could hear them talk without being seen – not that either man seemed to be paying much attention to his surroundings. It was obvious that they were fighting about something. And fine, maybe Blaine shouldn’t be listening. It wasn’t his business whatever had gone on between them. Eavesdropping only led to more problems.

And still…

“How did you even know I was here?” Sebastian asked, clearly frustrated.

“Oh, please, it’s all over social media,” Jackson said, his voice dismissive.

Blaine remembered the pictures he’d posted. Damn… he’d just wanted to share a good time. Now, he stated to think it would have been smarter to wait till tomorrow. Good thing that he wasn’t famous yet, that was definitely something he’d had to work on.

“Maybe you should stop stalking me and get a life,” Sebastian said.

“Yeah, well, maybe you should stop acting like I’m the bad guy,” Jackson replied. “You’re the one who broke up with me. I actually wanted to work on us.”

“There was nothing to work on,” Sebastian replied, the frustration in his voice betraying that this was clearly not the first time he’d said this. “If it’s such a mess after a few weeks, maybe it shouldn’t have happened in the first place. Stop acting like you’re so generous, for wanting to make that work.”

“How many people would even want to try, after their boyfriend tells them he loves someone else? Sure, you said it in a fight. I got that. Even got that you stormed out afterwards. I guess I should have known you’d break up with me, but come on. You have to admit, that was cold.”

Blaine froze where he sat. Oh, this was definitely something he wasn’t supposed to hear. He was glad he had, though.

Sebastian had told him he’d broken up with Jackson over the eternal psycho-analyzing, making him feel broken and not good enough. But between Jackson’s reaction to him, and the things Colette let slip – a fight, an epiphany – it had become clear that there was more to it.

Sebastian had said he loved someone else.

Not _someone else_. Even Blaine couldn’t bring up enough denial to misunderstand this one.

Sebastian loved him.

Blaine couldn’t quite remember how to breathe. And considering Sebastian’s voice when he spoke again, he wasn’t the only one affected.

“You leave him out of this,” he said. But there was just a moment of hesitation, and something sharp in his voice – too raw, too sharp, an immediate defensive stance.

“You’re right, it’s not actually about him, is it?” Jackson replied. “Though I have to admit, I was a bit surprised. The way you talked about him… you and Cooper. I was so sure he’d be an older brother. You know, the married one, the _mature_ one… It made sense.”

“Made sense with your dumb theory,” Sebastian replied. “Look, I’m so sorry your daddy didn’t allow you to study psychology and become a therapist instead, but could you please stop making this everyone else’s problem? I get it, you had this amazing theory about how everything I ever do is founded by my insurmountable Daddy Issues, and you thought Blaine was some older figure, some unreachable ideal I was chasing after as an attempt to get over how my dad apparently never loved me. And then it turns out the whole theory is bullshit because – guess what, you are not actually my therapist. And can you believe it – you’re not my boyfriend either, and you probably never should have been.”

“You don’t want to face the truth,” Jackson replied. “And fine, I was wrong about his age, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t fit into the theory.”

Sebastian snorted. “For your information, he’s nothing like my dad.”

“How about your mom?”

“Fuck off!” Sebastian pushed him away, and for a second Blaine wondered whether he would have to intervene, but Jackson took a step back, raising his hands in a defensive stance.

“It all doesn’t matter,” he said. “It’s not even about him, is it? He’s just your unreachable ideal, the one you can strive for but never reach. Because you put him up on some pedestal, too perfect for reality, and you know you’ll never be good enough for him. That’s the joke, Sebastian. He could be anyone. He’s just a symbol. You’re doing this because then you don’t have to do the work of actually having a relationship – after all, you already have you’re ‘The One’, and pining for him means you never have to be available for something real. That’s not love, Sebastian. That’s delusion. You and I, we could have had something real, Sebastian. We still could, if you would just let go of him.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Sebastian said.

That much, at least, Blaine could believe. But despite all that, he felt disconnected. Because now, slowly, the new information made its way into the picture he’d built in his head, one puzzle piece that changed the whole meaning of the image.

He’d had it all wrong. He’d been upset with Jackson, angry at him, for putting that look on Sebastian’s face. He’d been wrong. It had never been about Jackson in the first place, not even about dragging up bad memories, and the fear of being broken.

It had been Blaine. He was the one who’d put that expression on Sebastian’s face, the one to make him feel as if he wasn’t enough.

Love.

How long had Sebastian been in love with him? Now, it all made so much more sense, how upset and broken Sebastian had been back then. It hadn’t just been that fight, or Jackson, or even old memories. It had been years of watching Blaine turn away from him again and again, choose Kurt, and a marriage that made him miserable. Years of Sebastian wondering why he wasn’t good enough. And even now, the last few months…

Just how much pain had he caused Sebastian? Even now, with this in-between thing that they had going on… they were fine for now, but how long until it became too painful? He had no idea what he was doing…

There was one thing he knew, though, and that was that whatever confrontation Sebastian had going on with Jackson would not help make him feel better. Suddenly, Blaine knew what to do.

He slipped away just enough that he could approach them openly. Jackson saw him first, stopping whatever rant he was on, about why they should try again, and rolled his eyes.

“Sebastian?” Blaine asked.

He turned around, on instinct, as if Blaine’s voice worked as a magnet on him. It wasn’t new, but now it seemed completely different.

His head swimming, Blaine walked closer, barely shooting another look at Jackson, before focusing on Sebastian again. He put an arm around his waist, forcing himself to pay full attention to the way Sebastian turned to him, relaxing just that little bit at the touch.

“Are you coming?” Blaine asked softly, wishing that he could read the layers of meaning. _Walk away from this. Come inside, where our friends are. Come with me._

“We were in the middle of something here,” Jackson said.

But Sebastian didn’t even look up to him. He only looked at Blaine, who in turn wondered how on earth it had taken him until now to see.

“Actually, we were done,” Sebastian said. “Let’s go inside.”

Jackson might be protesting behind them, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t matter, never actually had.

What did matter was this new revelation, this epiphany, that Blaine swore to himself not to forget. It wasn’t like he’d been callous before, or careless with Sebastian’s feelings. But this, it just made it so obvious how careful he’d have to be, that for better or worse, this was Sebastian’s heart in his hands. He never wanted to hurt Sebastian, he just hadn’t realized how easily he could.

“Are you okay?” Sebastian asked.

Blaine turned towards him, taking his hands. “Are you?” he replied.

Sebastian looked at him, and it felt like he was actually taking his time to think about the question. After a moment, he put a hand against Blaine’s cheek, stroked the skin and then let it wander into his hair.

“Perfect,” he said, the smile on his face just a hint of wistful.

Blaine couldn’t help but pull him into a kiss.

Careful, he promised himself. Careful.

* * *

Blaine woke up with Sebastian’s arm slung over his waist, his body a warm weight leaning against his back. He turned, just enough until they were face to face. Sebastian looked softer like this, the early morning’s sunrays painting light and shadow on his skin, his breathing easy, calm. Peaceful, in a way he rarely was when awake. Such a beautiful, serene picture.

Blaine would hate himself if he ever destroyed it.

Memories from last night flooded his mind. The fight with Jackson. His realization.

Sebastian loved him.

Objectively, nothing had changed. Their situation was still the same it had been yesterday. Close, yes. On their way to a relationship. This new piece of knowledge really shouldn’t change anything.

Somehow, it had. Blaine wasn’t even sure why, but it somehow felt like… well, pressure, in a way. For one, like he had to be more careful with his steps. But also, like he was running out of time. He couldn’t take forever to figure this out – to make Sebastian wait much longer. He didn’t want to.

And still, it felt like something was holding him back. It wasn’t so hard to figure out what. He may be waiting to start his new life in earnest, but the truth was that he was still married.

He wasn’t ready yet. But… when was he going to be? How would he even know? Surely, he wouldn’t just wake up and be over his marriage, right? He tried to think back to former break ups, when he’d known that he was over it. But the truth was that during the first breakup he’d never gotten there, always hoping for his second chance, and the second time he’d dived into the pain, had used it as a shield until it had bled out, but still, he hadn’t been over the relationship. Now, though… he didn’t want to go back. He was done with that part of his life. But the divorce was still going, and clearly stepping back from a relationship that had filled so much of his life took longer than for months…

There was a knock on the door, and then Cooper’s voice boomed from outside.

“I’m going to come in, you guys better be decent!”

He waited for another few moments before he entered, a hand covering his eyes. “Is it safe?”

“Everything’s covered, and stop being five,” Blaine replied, pulling the sheets just a bit higher over Sebastian’s back.

“I still can’t believe you took a guy home,” Cooper said, shaking his head as he put his hand down.

“You’re just upset that Penny blew you off,” Blaine replied.

Sebastian groaned, moving beside him, and Blaine sighed, shaking his head.

“Good job, you woke him up,” he said.

“Wait, were you watching him sleep?” Cooper asked. “That’s… surprisingly on topic.”

“What?” Sebastian turned around, saw Cooper, and buried his face in the pillow again. “Make him go away,” he muttered.

“You’re breaking my heart, Bells. And actually, I am going. We both are, remember?” At this, he turned back to Blaine.

Oh. Their flight. He looked to the alarm clock, relieved to see there was still plenty of time until they had to be at the airport. Their parents’ anniversary party was coming up, the one they were going to Ohio for. He’d almost – no, definitely forgotten.

“You have twenty minutes to get showered and ready, or I’ll leave without you,” Cooper said, before turning around to leave the room.

“He wouldn’t,” Blaine said.

Sebastian groaned, clearly still completely exhausted.

With a sigh, Blaine stroked through his hair.

“I’ve got to go,” he muttered.

“Right,” Sebastian said, “I’ll get up.” He made not one move to do so, and a second later, Blaine could have sworn he’d had dozed off again.

“Hey,” Blaine whispered, shaking him slightly. “How about you sleep a bit more?”

“You’re leaving…” Sebastian said.

“You lived here,” Blaine said with a shrug. “Just sleep. You can let yourself out later, it’s fine. You just really look like you need it. Are you okay?”

Sebastian hummed. “Bit sore, but I’m fine,” he said. He looked up, and for a moment, he managed to open his eyes completely. “Will you call?”

Blaine gulped, then nodded, before dropping a kiss on Sebastian’s lips. It was meant to be short, but he found he couldn’t quite let go, letting Sebastian pull him closer, until they were making out. It took a moment till they had to come up for breath, and Blaine rested their foreheads together.

There were several knocks against the door. “I don’t hear a shower!” Cooper called inside. “Get moving, I’m serious!”

Blaine groaned shaking his head. He rose to his elbows, looking down at Sebastian – too gorgeous to even grasp, and right now, he would have probably done anything to keep him in his life, just like this.

“Soon,” he promised, not sure if he was still talking about a phone call.

Sebastian met his eyes, and nodded, answering whatever it was he’d meant.

“Soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On tumblr as imogenlefay, come say hi!


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this one, I obviously knew it would take a lot longer than most other chapters - mostly because Halloween and the Seblainiversary distracted me, and also a few other fics dropped in, plus a few more ideas that had to be ordered...and of course, characters as usually don't behave. Did not expect this from you, Sam. It's always the nice ones.   
> So yes, later than even I expected. Also longer than I expected, but... well, most chapters are. What can you do?

* * *

Blaine had been pretty sure that facing his family in the middle of a divorce would be hell, especially since the occasion was his parents’ anniversary dinner. He’d prepared himself for inappropriate questions, fake or real condolences, pats on his head… Cooper had already promised to sneak him all the booze he’d ask for, preparing him for the worst.

As it turned out, he’d misjudged his family. Of course, his paternal grandparents pretended like nothing was going on, never really comfortable with his sexuality, and even less with the idea of their grandson marrying a man. Even in his parents’ generation, there weren’t too many people who actually seemed to care. Then again, it wasn’t like Kurt had ever been really integrated into his family, or spent any meaningful time with them apart from Blaine’s parents.

From his parents… he wasn’t sure what he had expected. He certainly hadn’t thought his father of all people would be the one whose reaction made the most sense to him. He’d invited Blaine to a beer on the porch, awkward in a way he couldn’t even put his finger on, and tried to see if he was doing alright. He had seemed neither happy nor disappointed, maybe like he’d expected something like this. Blaine didn’t dare to ask why, tried to tell himself it was just because he had seen something about him and Kurt in particular just not working.

His mother though… No, he did not understand his mother. From everyone in his family, she’d been the one most open towards his relationship and later marriage, the most welcoming and understanding. She’d even been completely on board with the impromptu wedding, happily chatting with Carol about how romantic spontaneity was. But about the divorce, she only mentioned the night before, after she’d picked them up at the airport, that it was a pity about his marriage, but well, sometimes things don’t work out, and how did they feel about getting Chinese takeout, as with all the party preparations she really had no interest in cooking tonight.

The party was lovely, really. The caterer they hired was amazing, there’d been a few toasts, Cooper especially exceeding expectations with a speech that made their mom and several guests tear up, and that Blaine was pretty sure was at least partly ripped off from the script for the new season premiere of his show. After dinner, things had dispersed a bit. Blaine decided to stick to his brother, nursing a gin and tonic, while Cooper was busy charming their mother’s friends.

It was strange, to stand here, celebrating a marriage weathering the years against all odds and reason, while his own life had turned out so different from what he had expected. It was fine for a while, but mostly, he felt out of place. Like he had no right to even be here, even if it was his parents’ house.

He knew himself well enough to recognize the warning signs. This was well on his way to be too much for him, and really, he needed a moment to breathe. He used the next break in conversation to excuse himself, and walked with his empty glass towards the kitchen.

It felt like a different world, really, once he’d closed the door behind himself, away from the crowds and just quiet enough that he could take a moment to breathe. It wasn’t surprising, more exactly what he had accepted. Still, he hoped nobody would notice or at least be offended if he stepped away for a bit.

He’d just arrived at that thought, when he could hear the door open.

“Why did I have a feeling I’d find you here?”

He looked up to see his mother walking up to him.

“Sorry,” he said. “I just…”

“Needed a moment?” she finished. “You’re not all that subtle, sweetheart.”

Blaine ducked his head, trying to wave it off. “It’s fine,” he said, “I’ll be out in a moment.”

“Well, if anybody asks, I’ll be hiding in here for at least another few minutes,” his mother said. “You’re not the only one who needs a break.”

Blaine found himself blinking in surprise, but then he started smiling. She knew him too well, even if he didn’t always quite understand her.

“Something’s on your mind, isn’t it?” she asked.

“A few things,” Blaine admitted. “But this is your party, you don’t have to worry about it.”

“You’re my baby, of course I worry,” she replied. “And believe me, we have been thinking about this – if it’s a good idea to have an anniversary party, with everything going on, the divorce… but you seemed to be doing so well in Los Angeles, so we thought we’d stick to the plans.”

“What? No! Of course, it’s fine!” He never would have gotten the idea that she’d think to hold off the party that meant so much to his parents, just because he was having his personal problems.

His mother smiled knowingly, as if she’d known, but she looked more serious than usual now. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Tomorrow maybe,” Blaine said, waving it off. His mother had a party to host, he would not get into this now, in her night.

“Well, I’m not going out there for a while,” his mother said with a shrug and sat down on one of the bar stools in front of the kitchen island. Like she didn’t have a care in the world, she plucked a grape out of the fruit bowl, before looking towards him. “So what now?”

Blaine thought about it for a moment. It was her night, but she seemed like she was willing to talk. And he knew himself too well – he’d drive himself crazy over night, but in the next days he wouldn’t think to bring the topic up again. Maybe this was the best opportunity… After another moment of deliberation, he sat down on the stool beside her.

“It’s just such a contrast,” he said. “You’re celebrating your anniversary… and I’m in the middle of a divorce. And I know, it was the right decision to go. But it still kind of feels like… failing. When it all went nowhere, then what was even the point of it all?”

His mother nodded, and there was a knowing look in her face. “Love is complicated,” she said. “And sometimes it’s hard work. But that doesn’t mean that hard work can fix everything. And sweetheart, not everybody’s love story is the same. Walking away from something hurtful is its own strength. So maybe you went into marriage a bit naïve, but it was a sweet thought. You’re not a failure. And you’re still so young. Don’t worry about it. Your marriage may have failed, but you managed to walk away now, and you’ll put yourself back together. And you’ll love again.”

She was full of conviction, and even if on some level Blaine knew she was always optimistic, always rooting for romance, he allowed himself to accept the words. He really hoped she was right, that he could leave the past behind and move on. He closed his eyes for a moment, his thoughts drifting to how it had felt, waking up with Sebastian in his bed, warm and relaxed… God, he wanted that…

When he looked up again, his mother was smiling at him warmly, just a hint of mischief in her eyes.

“Sebastian?”

“I…” He stopped himself, not sure how deep he should get into this. “I really care about him,” he said eventually. “And it’s… I can’t hurt him, Mom. I just can’t afford to drag him into something unless I’m sure. I really haven’t made this easy for him.”

“Well, I doubt it has been easy for you, either,” she said with a shrug. “If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. So don’t stress too much. You deserve to be happy.”

“It’s not that easy,” Blaine said. “Besides, I’m still married.”

“That’s not going to be forever,” his mother said.

“I wouldn’t be so sure.”

She frowned now, looking at him in confusion. “What do you mean? Is there a problem? Cooper said you have such a good lawyer.”

“I do. But it’ll be hard… there’s this one point, the money Nonna left me. I had it in a joint account, and Kurt refuses to let it go.” He sighed, shaking his head. “I never thought I’d be here, fighting over money. It’s… light years from what I thought my life would be. But it’s… she wanted a future for me. I can’t just throw that away.”

His mother was looking at him, still frowning, now in contemplation.

“What?” he asked.

She shook her head, trying to smile it away. “Oh, nothing, just… a random idea.”

“Tell me.”

She hesitated another moment, but then she sighed. “I’m not going to tell you what to do,” she said, “but maybe… maybe another perspective. Look, Mama loved you, probably more than anyone – though you are not to tell your brother, do you hear me?”

“Sure,” Blaine said, trying to suppress his smile.

“The thing is… she wanted you to have this to build your future. To be secure, while you explore what you want to do with your life. But… she never would have wanted this to become something that hurts you. And right now, is it really bringing you joy, and security? Or is it weighing you down?”

Blaine bit his lip, everything within him trying to fight what she was saying.

His mother seemed to notice, but instead of laughing or waving it off, she put an arm around his shoulders.

“Mama wanted you to be happy. She never would have wanted to be the thing that stops you from living your life or finding happiness. So… I’m not saying to give up. But maybe keep this in mind.”

He smiled, even though he didn’t feel it.

With a sigh, she kissed his cheeks. “I’ll go back to the crowd now. But you take as much time as you need, okay?”

“Sure.”

As she closed the door, he sagged into himself. She meant well, and maybe she did have a point. It still was such an awful idea, to think he might have to give it up, just to cut himself loose. Was that really the price for freedom? For Sebastian? A symbol of a future versus his actual future?

Well, either way it wasn’t a question he would solve tonight. He allowed himself a few more moments, before he conjured up a show face again, ready to face the guests outside.

After all, he thought, as he stepped out of the kitchen, tonight really wasn’t about him.

* * *

It was later than he would have liked by the time the party had died down. Really, it was too late. His manners were driving him insane to even consider calling at this time of night. It was just plainly rude.

And still, here he was, lying in his childhood bedroom, staring at the ceiling, waiting for Sebastian to answer his phone. It took longer than he expected, to the point where he already started to consider giving up, when the call finally connected.

Sebastian’s _hello_ sounded raspy, as if he’d just woken up, and Blaine felt guilt shoot through him.

“Hey… did I wake you?” he asked, even though he was already pretty sure.

There was a chuckle, then a yawn. “Yeah, but that’s probably a good thing… I fell asleep over a textbook.”

“Oh… that bad?” Blaine asked.

“You have no idea,” Sebastian said. “How was the party?”

“It was… fine,” Blaine said, letting his thoughts wander. “Mom was pretty happy with it, at least. Cooper absolutely loved it. You know how he thrives on playing the big movie star coming home to small town Ohio.”

“I’m feeling better about missing it,” Sebastian said, and Blaine could hear the smile in his face.

“I mean, you broke my mom’s heart, but okay. Go study for your exams instead.”

“Well, I would have hated to distract from the celebration,” Sebastian said. “And those exams actually are kind of important, so…”

“May be for the best. It probably would have been a bit of a blow to my dad, to be honest. Would have been a bit mean, it was his anniversary, too. Then again… it’s not like he was overly enthusiastic about it in the first place.”

“I mean, the party clearly wasn’t for him. Isn’t he just happy when she’s enjoying herself?”

Blaine frowned in confusion. He hadn’t thought about it like that, but he was surprised Sebastian would have. He hesitated, not sure whether he should start this topic. Then again, there were few topics he felt uncomfortable to discuss with Sebastian.

“I never really get them, you know? My parents. It’s like they have absolutely nothing in common. I mean, I love them, I just… I don’t get them.”

There was a pause, and he could hear movement from the other end of the line, as if Sebastian was getting up from somewhere, probably to lie down in bed himself.

“It’s not that complicated, is it? Some couples don’t have a lot in common, doesn’t matter as long as they get each other, and actually like each other. Even better when they complement each other.”

“What do you mean?” Blaine asked.

“Well, I’m not the expert on your parents, from the handful of times I met them… But they make a pretty good team. Your mom is… let’s say spontaneous. Emotional. A dreamer. And your father is more grounded, realistic. She’s lifting him up, he’s grounding her… and sure, they don’t have the same hobbies, or the same outlook on life… they still get each other. It’s kind of beautiful.”

“Huh… that actually makes sense,” Blaine said, still surprised. “You really thought about this.”

Sebastian snorted. “I wouldn’t go that far. But growing up in a broken marriage kind of gives you an eye for these things.”

“Like mine?”

“You never really got to _broken_ ,” Sebastian said, “just toxic, and messed up, and you actually walked away from that before it left any scars.”

“That’s thanks to you,” Blaine said. He closed his eyes as he sank into his pillow. It felt so familiar suddenly, talking to Sebastian on the phone in the middle of the night, jumping between topics, some deep, some shallow. It felt comforting in its familiarity.

“”I didn’t really do anything,” Sebastian said. “I may have given you some assistance, but you were the one who walked away.”

But he hadn’t quite walked away yet, not completely. He was still married, no matter how often or loud he called it a technicality, not free to move on while his nonna’s inheritance bound him to the past…

“Are you falling asleep on me?” Sebastian asked, soft amusement tinging his words.

“It’s a bit later here,” Blaine said. “Besides, you’re the one who fell asleep over textbooks.”

“Yeah, well, if you ever deal with insomnia, I have volumes of books to help that,” Sebastian said.

“I miss Los Angeles,” Blaine said softly. He wondered whether Sebastian knew what he really meant. He’d be a bit disappointed if he didn’t.

“Okay,” Sebastian said, “but seriously, you sound like you need some sleep, so…”

Blaine chuckled, but he couldn’t deny the truth of it. “Goodnight, Sebastian.”

“Night. And I’ll see you, soon.”

“Soon,” Blaine said. A few moments later, after the call disconnected, he drifted off to sleep, wondering if Sebastian actually could have heard his smile.

* * *

The race was almost over… he could do it… almost…

And out of nowhere, the other cart pulled up beside him, and-

“YES!”

With a triumphant cry, Sam threw the controller down and jumped up. Blaine groaned as he stared at the screen, but there wasn’t nothing left to argue about. He’d actually lost.

That was probably the just punishment for moving in with someone who hadn’t had a gaming console since the SNES.

There was no way he’d come to Ohio for a few days and not visit Sam, of course. It was raining like crazy outside, which only made it an easier decision to stay inside, going through the latest comics, and lounging on Sam’s couch as they played Mario Cart.

“I missed this,” Blaine said as he leant back against the couch pillows. Not just the game, but he realized he didn’t have to specify.

“What, losing?” Sam replied, which only got him a pillow thrown at his face that he caught easily. “I mean, you wouldn’t have to if you visited more often.”

Maybe Blaine really was making progress, or there was just something about Sam that made it clear that the words held no blame whatsoever.

“I’m living so much further away now,” Blaine said.

“Yeah, but… come one,” Sam said with a shrug.

Blaine bit down on his smile. “…yeah. Probably.”

“What’s it like though? Living in Los Angeles?”

“Different,” Blaine said. “It’s so warm. And there are like so many models and actors, it’s insane. Like, visual overload. I honestly felt a bit out of place at first. But it’s good. In New York, it’s like… okay, this is going to sound really stupid. But it always felt like New York was Kurt’s city, not mine.”

“I’m pretty sure New York doesn’t care much about your ex,” Sam said.

“I did,” Blaine replied. “It was Kurt’s, and Rachel’s, and I was the late newcomer, even years later. Los Angeles is different. And it’s kind of ridiculous, because I’ve been there so much shorter, and everyone else has been there even longer. But it feels like I can be at home there. And I’m so glad not to be on my own. I’ve got Cooper and Sebastian, Marley…”

“Mercedes?”

Blaine looked at him and felt guilty for a moment. There was just a bit too much emotion in his voice.

“Yeah, Mercedes.”

“It’s fine,” Sam said, in a way that made it clear that it wasn’t. There was also something in his tone that made it clear he didn’t want to discuss it. He probably couldn’t have made it more obvious, even with-

“So, you and Sebastian. What’s going on there?”

-an abrupt change of topic, turning the conversation back around on Blaine.

“We’re… getting there,” Blaine said, trying to dismiss this path of conversation on instinct. But then, he stopped to think. He did want to talk about this, and really, who better than Sam to help him through this? Sure, Cooper knew more about everything going on, but he was just a bit too close, too invested in them.

Sam was leaning back in the couch, just waiting for whatever decision Blaine was about to make. This, more than anything else, made it easy.

“He loves me,” Blaine said. The words still felt strange to say, even though he’d accepted the truth behind them. “I mean… he didn’t say it, but… I heard him talk to his ex, and… that’s what it comes down to. It’s why they broke up. Cause he loves me.”

“Okay,” Sam said, nodding slowly, “and was that… news to you?”

Blaine looked at him in confusion. Had it really been this obvious, that even Sam who barely knew Sebastian could tell?

“Kind of?” he answered eventually. “I mean… I knew that he cared about me, and that he had some sort of feelings for me. I just didn’t know it was this deep. So now… I’m not sure what to do.”

“Okay,” Sam said again, “but does it really make a difference?”

“How would it not make a difference?” Blaine asked.

“I mean, it’s nice to know, I guess, but does it really change anything? You like him, you want to date him at some point when you feel ready… isn’t this a good thing? At least you won’t have to worry about whether he wants you too…”

“I’m hurting him,” Blaine said, his voice soft. “He’s been watching me for years, ignoring him, choosing another life at every turn. And now, when it’s really just a matter of time, I’m still not there, and… we talked, you know, I told him that I need a bit more time to be ready, and to move on… but it’s all taking so long. My divorce is going to take months and months on end, and you can bet Kurt is going to drag it out as long as he can, and… There’s nothing I can really offer Sebastian. Just a vague _some day_. And he might pretend he’s fine… but he’s hurting, and I hate it.”

“Because hurting him hurts you?” Sam asked.

Surprised, Blaine turned towards him. He hadn’t thought of it that way, but there was truth to it. Slowly, he nodded.

Sam looked at him with something that was way too close to pity. “Sorry to break it to you… but that’s love, dude.”

His jaw dropped as the words registered. It took him a moment to remember how to speak again. “I… what…”

“Look, you’re seriously making this so much more complicated than it has to be. You like him, right? And you’re really into him?”

“I mean, that’s… _yes_ , obviously, but…”

“You trust him, you expect to have a future with him. You hurt when he’s hurt. But you didn’t think that might mean you love him?” Sam asked.

Blaine stopped and for once allowed himself to even think about it. Almost immediately, he realized he had been keeping these thoughts away, some subconscious defense mechanism. Now, though, that the spark of the idea was lit inside his mind…

Was it love? Could it really be this easy?

Then again, nothing about this was easy, not with his possibly never-ending divorce, and how he didn’t feel secure about his own feelings. He _wished_ it was easy.

“I’m such a mess…” he said eventually, like it explained everything. Or maybe nothing.

“Dude, you’ve pretty much been a mess since I met you, and you made it work so far,” Sam said.

Blaine sighed. “I have to be sure, Sam. The worst thing I could do is go to him, and tell him I want to be with him, and then it all falls apart because I wasn’t ready. And I can’t risk hurting him anymore – I’ve done enough of that already.”

Sam was watching him carefully, as if there was something else he considered saying. Eventually, he spoke again.

“What does that even mean? Being ready? Like, seriously, what would that look like? How would you know you’re ready? It’s not like life is a computer game and you gather xp in moving on until you have some exclamation mark over your head that says mission accomplished, right? I get that moving on from your divorce has to be tough, but… what’s really holding you back now?”

Blaine hesitated. He had thought about it, of course. But somehow, he thought he’d just know when he was ready. Still though… what did it look like, being ready? Would he feel fundamentally different? He realized that he’d somehow had hoped for the divorce being finalized to be the sign he needed. But the more he thought about it, he realized that wouldn’t work out. He had no idea at this point how long his divorce would take, and was he really ready to wait until then to start his life? And what about Sebastian? Could he ever be certain things were going to work out? Obviously not, but should that really stop him from trying?

“Dude, your head is like smoking,” Sam said. “Look, you don’t have to figure it out this second. But, just… think about it, okay?”

Blaine nodded. “I will. Thank you, Sam,” he said. Sighing, he leaned back against the couch. “Honestly, I’m kind of jealous of you.”

“What? Why?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know, you just… you’ve got it all figured out. You decided years ago what you want to do, and now you’re a teacher, you can fix the things going wrong at McKinley, you mentor the next generations… just like you wanted. So yeah, you found your place, you love your job, your girlfriend seems pretty cool… Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you. But also kind of jealous.”

There was a pause, long to the point that Blaine looked up again. Sam was frowning, as if he wasn’t sure if he should say something.

“What?”

“It’s not that neat,” Sam said.

Now, Blaine sat up completely. “What do you mean?” he asked.

Sam looked caught for a moment, like he hadn’t actually meant to say this, and was now considering just how open he should be. But like Blaine before him, he eventually sighed, and nodded.

“Jess and I kind of broke up,” he said. “And it’s fine. I mean, she was really nice and we had fun, but there was something missing. I realized just how much after she broke up with me. I wasn’t even really missing her. It just… it made me think, you know? About some other things.”

“Like what?” Blaine asked.

“My job… my place in the world…” He sighed, shaking his head. “I love teaching, you know? All the things you said, all I ever wanted it for. I want to be there for the kids who need someone in their corner, who think they’re not special, or not good enough. But honestly… McKinley has changed a lot in the last few years. And I’ve seen it, from tutoring New Directions while I was getting my degree. It’s nothing like it was when we went there. It’s an art school now. New Directions aren’t underdogs in any way. They’re the top of the food chain now. And there are other choirs, but everyone wants to be in New Directions. I thought I try to remind them of what’s important, loving performing. But they’ve still become kind of cut-throat. They’re half Vocal Adrenaline by now, and I can’t even get a handle of it.”

“It’s still a good thing that the bullying has stopped.”

“It hasn’t,” Sam replied, his face darkening. “It just turned around. Glee club isn’t bullied anymore, they’re doing the bullying. And like, of course they don’t push people in lockers and I don’t think a slushie has been thrown in almost two years. But it’s different. There’s still a really clear pecking order. Just the people on top have changed. And that’s kind of not anything I ever wanted. Also…”

He paused long enough that Blaine wasn’t sure he’d continue.

“What?” he asked eventually.

Sam sighed. “No matter what I do, it always feels like I’m standing in Finn’s shadow. And the worst thing is, it’s not even really Finn. The way they talk about him… you wouldn’t recognize him, honestly. It’s like they made up this perfect being, who had no fault, who lifted everyone’s spirit and was the sole motivation behind New Directions. And they call it Finn. And like, I loved the dude, but… that’s not him. He wasn’t perfect. But it’s like nobody is even allowed to talk about him like a real person. I talked to Mr. Shue about it, thought he’d understand. But honestly, he’s the worst of them. So… I don’t know. I love teaching, but McKinley… it kind of doesn’t feel like home anymore.”

Blaine leaned back, and thought about it. It came as a bit of a surprise to him, but really, it made sense. He could see how that was an atmosphere Sam would probably not thrive in. And it was a shame, because he knew his friend could be such an amazing motivator. But maybe, he was just at the wrong place.

And of course, there it was, that treacherous feeling building in his chest. Hope.

“You’re still sure about teaching, though?” he asked.

“Dude, absolutely. That was like the best choice of my life,” Sam said.

“You know… Los Angeles has some great schools,” Blaine said.

Both of them knew it wasn’t just a simple sentence or observation. To his relief, Blaine saw the corners of Sam’s mouth twitch upwards in a smile, so he continued.

“And you know… I’m there. Cooper is. You’ll probably get along with Sebastian, too. There’s Marley, too… And…”

“Mercedes?”

Just the softness in Sam’s voice when he spoke her name showed Blaine how blind he’d been to ever even begin to believe any of that “better off as friends” nonsense.

“I’m sure she’d be happy to see you,” he said.

“I don’t know,” Sam said, although he couldn’t quite stop that little smile. “She always says we want different things.”

Blaine tilted his head, watching his friend, and suddenly he understood how easy it had been for Sam to see right through him. Time to return the favor.

“What does that even mean?” he asked. “What _do_ you want?”

Sam’s eyebrows rose in surprise, but then he chuckled. “Fair point… Looks like we both have things to think about.”

“Yeah,” Blaine said, a fond smile on his face. “Looks like we do.”

* * *

“I hate this… How the hell is this even supposed to fit in there? I didn’t have that much stuff when I came here…”

Blaine started at the disaster his brother’s room turned into and considered just walking out again. Maybe he hadn’t been seen, Cooper loved monologuing at every occasion.

“Hey, I have the best idea, squirt!”

Blaine rolled his eyes, but stepped closer. “Does it in some way end up with me doing the packing for you?” he asked. “Because the answer is no.”

“Come on, you love organizing things,” Cooper said. “Your wardrobe always looked so… un-chaotic. I think you had sections and everything.”

Blaine shuddered “I didn’t put them there,” he said. “And this is exactly what you brought with you, since I talked mom out of doing your damn laundry for you. So please, for once be a grown-up, okay? I know you can do it.”

“Oh, you’re no help at all,” Cooper lamented, “in fact, you’re actually making things worse. You know Mom loves taking care of us, why would you deprive her of that?”

Blaine grinned, shaking his head. “Why would you deprive me of watching Buffy by kicking me out of the living room when our parents were at PTA meetings? I think this is called payback.”

“And here you go around claiming you don’t hold grudges,” Cooper said, sighing dramatically. “Fine. I can do this. It will be valuable knowledge in the future when I have to mentor the Slayer herself.”

“You do know you won’t actually get to tutor Buffy, right? That’s your character’s future, not yours,” Blaine said.

“I mean, they’re bound to make some sort of time travel episode where I end up teaming up with the Scoobie gang,” Cooper said with a shrug. “It’s such an obvious concept, no way they’ll pass up on it. Although they might have to go far into the future. How old do you think Sarah Michelle Gellar looks these days?”

The sound of his cellphone saved him from having to answer that particular question. His face fell, though, when he saw the name showing up on the display.

Kurt.

“What’s wrong?” Cooper asked. He took a glimpse at the phone and let out a whistle. “You know you can ignore that, right?”

He did know that. He could just dismiss the call. Their last conversations had not gone well. Why would Kurt call him anyway? Really, at this point, wouldn’t everything they have to talk about be better discussed by their lawyers?

Still… he was curious, and the call was going on for too long to be anything casual. Still not sure what to expect, Blaine answered the call.

“Hello?”

There was a pause, before he heard Kurt’s voice. The “Hey” sounded shaky, a wavering even in the single syllable, then he cleared his throat. The next words still came out sounding stuffy, as if he’d been crying. “I didn’t know if you’d pick up.”

“Me neither,” Blaine said. “Why are you calling me?”

Another pause, only interrupted by raspy breathing, and then a gasp of breath that might have been a suppressed sob.

“What happened?” Blaine asked. He could feel his brother’s eyes on him, could guess his expression, somewhere between concerned and suspicious.

“It’s my dad,” Kurt said. “He had another heart attack.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on tumblr as imogenlefay, come say hi!


	10. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this story is almost wrapped up. There'll be one more chapter and an epilogue, and I figure this is as good a time as any to share a bit of the process behind the story. Mostly, I had a lot of trouble planning the story becausse I didn't just want Sebaine to get togetheer, but I wanted to explore them actually being together. The problem was, at the last story I left Blaine not in a state where he could easily start a new relationship. And after an embarrassingly long time I realized, I could just do both. So, basically, while this story is about to wrap up, the verse is not. There'll be another story after this (although that one's a long way off, I need a break and have some other ideas I want to write first), and that one will finally get the "Cause You're There For Me Too" title. 
> 
> Small warning, there'll be peripheral mentions of sexual harrassment/attempted assault (literally just the mention that that happened off screen to a third party)
> 
> Also, I may have broken Sebastian's brain, so please be kind and send some cognac.  
> Oh, and if you liked last chapter's cliffhanger... buckle up.

* * *

Utterly exhausted, Sebastian pushed the books aside. For a second, it almost looked like they’d fall to the floor. He wasn’t sure whether he was relieved or annoyed when they didn’t. He’d never liked studying. Everything had come easy back in school, but this was on a completely different level. To think that this would pretty much fill his life for the next few months was… well, certainly not a fun prospect.

He glanced to his phone and got a small shock at how late it already was, the afternoon almost gone by in a haze of coffee and paragraphs. He really needed to get a better grip on time. Slowly, though, another thought dawned. Blaine and Coper should have landed a while ago. They didn’t need him to pick them up, Cooper had driven there, but it was a bit weird not to have heard from either of them. Blaine, at least, was notorious for checking in after flights.

It would be easy to clear things up, all he had to do was call Blaine. Or would that seem too needy?

Cooper on the other hand, that was a much safer bet. Plus, he’d be too busy talking about himself to question even the flimsiest excuse for calling him up. He’d barely arrived at the conclusion when he’d already grabbed his phone and started the call.

Cooper answered after just a few rings. “It’s so good to be home,” he said, not even waiting for Sebastian to say anything, “and let me tell you, I was ready to kill for a good cup of coffee…”

“I’d literally pay to see that,” Sebastian said. “How was your flight?”

“Amazing,” Cooper said, and suddenly his voice seemed lighter, as if this was a topic he felt comfortable with. “The flight attendant flirted with me all through the flight. She even wrote her number on the paper cup with tomato juice with a stick of celery and tabasco that I talked her into giving me. I know, not quite a Bloody Mary, but vodka is the worst idea when you have to drive afterwards…”

“You could have asked Blaine to drive. And I thought you wanted to see where things are going with Penny,” Sebastian said.

“I do,” Cooper said, “but it’s still nice to feel appreciated. It’s just a phone number, it’s not like I’ll actually call her.”

“Can’t believe Blaine would let that pass,” Sebastian said.

There was hesitation before Cooper spoke again. “Right… I mean… he is kind of rooting for me and Penny. Well, more like would be super pissed if I messed things up with her _again_ …” There was something in his voice, though, a tone that Sebastian had long ago learned to pick up on.

He shook his head, and sighed. “Tell me something, Cooper. How come both you and your brother are great at acting, but completely suck at lying?”

“I… I didn’t _lie_ ,” Cooper said, even his indignation sounding hesitating. “It’s an omission at worst. Also, thanks! I appreciate the compliment to my acting skill.”

“Spill, what’s going on?”

“Look, it’s… basically nothing? I mean…” After a pause, Cooper sighed. “Oh, fuck it. I can’t do this. Sit down somewhere, okay? And before I tell you anything, it’s… well, it probably _is_ nothing, except you’re completely going to take this the worst way possible and freak out, and Blaine will be pissed at me for blabbing _and_ for you going crazy, and honestly, I don’t see a path for me where I can win with this… but you’re my best friend, so I kind of got to tell you. You’re sitting, right?”

“I’ve been sitting the whole time, what the hell is going on?” Sebastian asked.

“So, Blaine is kind of still in Ohio,” Cooper said. “Not for long! I mean, I don’t quite know how long, but… I mean, he’s _probably_ going to be back by the end of the week?”

“Okay… why?” Sebastian asked. He wondered if this would be one of _those_ conversations with Cooper, where he had to drag out every single thing in order to figure out what was going on.

The next pause was long enough to tell him that this was probably the thing Cooper didn’t want him to know.

“He… he got a call,” Cooper said, “from… Kurt.”

Sebastian’s eyes widened. It meant nothing, he tried to tell himself, there was no reason to worry. Right now, Blaine wasn’t even on actual speaking terms with his ex. It was weird enough that he’d even answer the call.

Except, he clearly had answered, and whatever it was, it had made him change his travel plans. Sebastian wasn’t sure whether he wanted to ask, but Cooper continued already.

“Apparently, his father had a heart attack and is in the hospital, and for _some_ reason he thought the person to call up was his soon-to-be ex-husband he’s not actually talking to… who happened to be in town at the time, and you _know_ Blaine, he’d adopt a box full of stray kittens, and trust me, I had to steer him away from boxes like that more than once, so there’s his whole helper complex thing and also, he has this weird idolization for the guy going on, like he’s the best father of the world or something, so… um, yeah, he decided to stay in Ohio a few more days to help out.”

Sebastian’s first instinct was to lash out. What right did Kurt have to drag Blaine into his family troubles? How would Blaine be able to help anyway, it wasn’t like he was a doctor or anything. But underneath the anger, there was that feeling of frustration. He should have known. He’d actually been able to fool himself that this was going to happen, that Blaine would choose him. A dumb hope, maybe, but one that Blaine had fueled.

With a bitter taste in his mouth he remembered how he’d been sure Blaine would realize he could do better, find someone new, someone actually good enough for him, even though Sebastian had trouble even imagining a guy like that.

But no. That wouldn’t happen, would it?

Blaine, and his damn, soft, bleeding heart… of course, he would stay behind to help his ex, and Sebastian could already tell where this was going. Daddy Hummel would die, everyone would cry a lot, Blaine would take it on himself to cheer up his ex, they’d talk, maybe he’d even get a flimsy apology that he’d discard as not even necessary, and fine, maybe there’d be some alcohol, or maybe not, but they’d hook up, and then Blaine would decide that the decent thing to do was throw away his new life, and just step back into a life that would drown him, and all Sebastian could do was watch.

That was how these things tended to go.

On the other end of the line, Cooper groaned. “Come on, don’t do that!”

“Do what?” Sebastian asked.

“I can _hear_ your head smoking,” Cooper said, “you’re doing it. You’re driving yourself crazy, thinking how things will go wrong now. You always do that. You know, you hide it pretty well, but I’m starting to think you’re actually a pretty pessimistic guy. That’s why you’re being so sarcastic, you’re trying to never get your hopes up.”

“Well, look where hope is getting me now,” Sebastian bit back. He didn’t mean for it to come out like that, heavy with emotions he would love to suppress.

“I don’t think you have to worry,” Cooper said. It didn’t sound anywhere near convinced.

“Really?” Sebastian asked. “You think there’s absolutely no possibility this whole grieving thing would lead to Blaine going back? You guarantee that?”

Cooper hesitated, and it told Sebastian all he needed to know. “Well, I don’t think it’s _likely_ ,” he said. “It’s just… look, there are no guarantees. We both know that. But after everything…” He sighed. “I don’t think he’d do that. But no, I can’t promise. I know what I’ll tell him if he asks me for advice… but basically… that’s not a conversation you should be having with me.”

“Right…” Sebastian said. He knew who he needed to talk to… except he wasn’t sure even Blaine could calm the mess inside his head right now. If he was here, maybe, if he could be sure…

“Do you want me to come over?” Cooper asked. “We can get take-out and watch a movie. Maybe Van Helsing? I hear they’re thinking about doing a remake, and doesn’t that just sound like it was written for me?”

Cooper was always exhausted after flights, especially when he had to suffer the indignity of driving himself home afterwards. That he’d offer to come over meant a lot. And for a moment, Sebastian considered it. At least laughing over Cooper trying to compare himself to Hugh Jackman would be entertaining. But he could already tell that this would lead to some sort of heart-to-heart, and he really didn’t feel up for it.

“I have to get through half a textbook before my next study session,” Sebastian said, “so I guess this whole exam preparation has one upside at least.”

“You’re breaking my heart,” Cooper said. “Seriously, though – will you be okay?”

“We’ll see about that,” Sebastian replied. “Thank you, though. For telling me. I appreciate it.”

“Well, you better, I’m going to catch hell for this,” Cooper muttered. “Anyway… take care, Bells.”

It was supposed to be light, even if it didn’t feel like that. With a sigh, Sebastian dropped his phone to the desk, and leaned back in his chair.

This day just sucked.

He should probably get back to his books. Really, there was nothing he could do. Whatever would happen, whatever Blaine would or wouldn’t do, there wasn’t really anything he could do about it. A part of him really wanted to just call, demand an explanation. He wasn’t sure he had a right to one.

He’d definitely drive himself crazy if this went on any longer. But he’d just reached out to his phone, when it started ringing. And there he was, Blaine, grinning at him from the display of his phone. Without hesitation, Sebastian answered.

“Hey,” Blaine said. “How have you been?”

“Fine,” Sebastian said, trying his hardest to keep the bitterness out of his voice. “Busy. Studying, you know.”

“Right, yeah,” Blaine said. “Sorry, I should have called you earlier… Do you have a moment?” He sounded exhausted, subdued even, and Sebastian wasn’t sure whether his stomach felt like turning in sympathy or if it might be more self-pity.

“Sure,” Sebastian said.

There was a pause, maybe Blaine was a bit taken aback with his one-word-answers, but it was all Sebastian could do to stop himself from falling into a whole rant about what the hell Blaine thought he was doing.

“You talked to Cooper,” Blaine said eventually. Not a question, a statement. How he got to this conclusion from just a few words was beyond Sebastian, and he wasn’t quite sure whether this was a good thing. Probably not, though.

“I’m sorry,” Blaine said. “I messed this up, didn’t I? I should have told you right away that I’m staying a bit longer. I just… I didn’t know the situation yet, and I had this idea that it’s better not to tell you until I was sure just what is going on. I didn’t want to get you all worried when I didn’t even have the whole information yet.”

“And now you do?” Sebastian asked.

“Enough of it,” Blaine said. “Look, this is… it’s not a big deal, okay? It doesn’t mean anything. Burt had a heart attack, and Kurt called me because he was upset. Carol told him and she was so distressed, he didn’t even really know how bad things were or what was going on, and he only got a flight for tomorrow morning. So, I offered to go to the hospital, to check on his dad, see what’s going on. And fortunately, it’s not as bad as it seemed at first. He’s fine, he’s awake, they’re already talking about transferring him from the ICU to a regular ward in the next few days. I’ll stay till tomorrow, and yes, I’ll talk to Kurt, and make sure everything is settled. But I have my flight booked for the day after tomorrow. It’s just two more days.”

“Okay, sure,” Sebastian said. Like he got a say in this anyway… And he didn’t want to be like this, sulk in the corner while Blaine was really just trying to do the right thing. He never wanted to be this… insecure, jealous mess. He thought he’d moved past this. But apparently, it was just a bit too easy to backslide.

Exactly the thing he was worried about.

“Can you say something?” Blaine asked. “More than just one-word answers? Because… you sound upset, but like you don’t want to seem upset. I can’t fix this if you’re not telling me what’s going on.”

“There’s nothing to fix,” Sebastian said. “But fine, you want to know what I think? I think you don’t owe him anything, and it’s kind of pathetic that he turns to you when he hasn’t even been able to have a single civil conversation with you since you left. And you won’t see it like that, because you just… you fall for crap like this, the pity act, and he knows that about you. Like hell he’s not using this to get to you, and you’re going to walk right into it.”

“Okay,” Blaine said, and for some reason he sounded calm, almost soothing. “That’s… what I thought, mostly. Look, please don’t be worried. I know I sometimes like to believe too much in people’s best motives, and I also know you tend to be more cynical. With this… I know you don’t like Kurt, but I’m pretty sure I know him better than you do. He’s not that good at hiding his motives, and this was sincere. Not to mention I can’t imagine him wanting me back after the way I left. Although, even if he did, it doesn’t matter, does it? I broke up with him. I’m the one who walked away from that relationship, remember?”

“I do,” Sebastian said. “Still…”

“This is something I’d do for any of my friends,” Blaine continued. “Because I remember how hard it was when I heard Nonna died, and to realize I wasn’t even there… if there’d been someone there to check on me before… it would have meant so much…”

“But he’s not just any of your friends,” Sebastian said. “You were married. Still are, technically. Don’t pretend it’s the same.”

Blaine paused. “Okay, yeah, you’re right. It’s not the same. I… You don’t want to hear this, but the truth is that he’s been such a big part in my life. And I know it was the right thing to walk away, but… it’s no problem to deal with him angry. But sad and in pain… I’m sorry, it still got to me somehow. So yes, fine, maybe I’m too soft. It’s not just about him, though… not even primarily. Like, that’s the part you don’t think about when you break up with someone. You don’t just have connections to that person, but there’s so much more coming with that. Burt and Carol were my family too, for years, even felt like family back when we were just dating. And they’ve been… really good to me. They honestly treated me like family, from day one, and maybe I miss that somehow.”

“You have a family,” Sebastian said, even though he knew it wasn’t the same. He got it in a way. His own family was a mess, mostly, but the way Pam Anderson welcomed him into her family, even just as her sons’ friends, definitely had made an impression on him.

“I used to think Burt was what I wanted my father to be,” Blaine said, his voice soft. “I don’t know if you’ve ever seen him…”

“He’s in congress, I know what he looks like,” Sebastian said, not even trying to not roll his eyes.

“Fine, but then you know, on first look, you wouldn’t expect him to be this accepting, caring father figure. But he was. Unconditional support. I was honestly kind of jealous of that. I really wanted that.”

“There’s nothing wrong with your dad,” Sebastian said, “so what, he doesn’t completely get you, or Cooper? You do know you’re both kind of insane, right?” It was too confrontational, and he wasn’t even sure why he wanted to defend Blaine’s father so much, if it really only was to tear down this hero worship.

To his surprise, Blaine chuckled. “I know he loves me,” he said, “I’m just saying… we’ve come some way since I was a teenager. But right after I came out… I really wasn’t sure if he still looked at me the same way, or if I was just a disappointment. And yes, I know what you’ll say, about teenage angst or whatever. I just didn’t feel supported. Not the way I saw with Kurt and his dad. Not the way I felt Burt was supporting me, too.” He sighed, and Sebastian could picture him shaking his head, the expression of fond memories fading once his mind returned to the present. “It doesn’t matter, though. It’s not a big deal, Sebastian. I’ll be home soon. And maybe this can be a good thing.”

“What part of this is supposed to be a good thing?” Sebastian asked.

“We’ll get to talk,” Blaine said. No need to state who he was talking about. “Maybe under the best conditions. Of course, I don’t want his dad to be in the hospital. But it’s going to cool down all the anger, and maybe we can have a constructive conversation. Maybe we can find a solution for the whole divorce issue.”

“Sure,” Sebastian said. It sounded half like a snort.

Again, Blaine sighed. “You’re the one who told me the best solution to this would be if he conceded. If I ever have a chance to make him see my point of view, it’s now.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Sebastian said. He didn’t really want to fight with Blaine. Nothing he said would make a difference now. And sure, he believed that Blaine had the best intentions, but it was hard to focus on that when he could so clearly see where this was all going.

Really, though, what was the point? He couldn’t make Blaine come back this instant, and he doubted making him feel bad would help either of them. All he could do was brace himself for the worst. Story of his damn life.

“I’ll be back in two days,” Blaine said.

“Just promise me you won’t hook up with him,” Sebastian said.

“What?” Blaine asked, confused, as if he wasn’t sure he understood the words correctly.

Sebastian hadn’t meant to say it, really, it had been a slip-up. It made him feel weak, pathetic, insecure… for a moment he considered if he could just pretend he was joking, but the words were out, anyway. He might as well see it through.

“You heard me,” Sebastian said, “if it doesn’t mean anything, and you have no intention of going back to him… don’t hook up with him. Can you promise that?”

“That’s ridiculous,” Blaine said, a hint of indignation in his voice.

“Well, then it shouldn’t be so hard,” Sebastian replied. He didn’t know what he was doing. He didn’t want to fight, didn’t want to be jealous and overbearing, and push Blaine away, to where his ex was probably just waiting for him to mess up. But he spent too long obsessing over this, always that shadow over his head, telling him he should have known, should have seen this coming, because of course, he wasn’t good enough…

“It’s not,” Blaine said, and once more, his voice was soft, soothing. “It’s not hard, at all. I promise, I won’t sleep with him. I won’t kiss him. I will not get back together with him. I swear, Sebastian. All I will do is make sure everything is settled, I’ll have a hopefully calm and reasonable conversation with him, and in two days, I’m coming home. To you. So please, Sebastian, I need you to have faith in me, for just a bit longer.”

The worst thing was, he believed it. He could picture Blaine so clearly, it was almost painful, all earnest, serious, desperate to make him listen. He meant it, of course he meant it.

Now.

But would it hold up once he was actually confronted with the reality of it? Sebastian couldn’t be sure. That was part of the problem. Rationally, he couldn’t understand why Blaine should go back to his ex, not after finally getting away, building a new life, standing up for himself. But then again, he’d never gotten why he stayed for so long in the first place, hadn’t understood any of it even back in high school, why Blaine would ever put up with someone who barely seemed to tolerate him unless it came to staking a claim, why he’d leave Dalton and all its prestige and adoration for a place and person who’d never appreciate him, and why he’d go back again and again and again…

Blaine was the only one who really knew. All Sebastian could do was to trust him. He wanted to, but it still felt like he was just sitting back, waiting to have his heart broken.

Damn, Cooper might be on to something with that nickname.

“Alright,” he said. “I’ll try.”

There was another pause, long enough that he felt like he should probably say something, end the conversation and the call.

Eventually, Blaine spoke again.

“I’ll be home soon,” he said. “I promise.”

“Soon,” Sebastian said.

He could only hope it would be enough.

* * *

It was the weirdest feeling to be back in the house of his former in-laws. Family, really. How many days and nights had he spent here since sophomore year, afternoons hanging out as friends, later boyfriends, Friday night family dinners, birthdays and holidays… there had been times when he’d felt more at home here than at his parents’ house.

Now, Blaine was walking through the house, preparing coffee in the kitchen while Kurt had started unpacking things in his old bedroom, and he didn’t know how to feel. Nothing really had changed, the place was the same it had always been. Blaine just didn’t feel like he belonged anymore. He didn’t, of course. He was not part of this family. Carol had still welcomed him, thanked him when he called her yesterday, and had been warm and sweet every time they talked in person. Burt had actually been happy to see him, even though they hadn’t talked in several months. But it was not the same.

He’d picked up Kurt from the airport in the morning and taken him straight to the hospital. They hadn’t talked much – mostly strained small talk, but thankfully there’d been nothing of the viciousness of their last few conversations. Of course, that didn’t matter right now, anyway. When Kurt had seen his father again, he’d virtually melted with relief, and Blaine had excused himself for a bit to give them some privacy. They’d stayed until the nurses has kicked them out, although Carol had stayed behind, her coworkers promising to let her back in a bit later.

So now here he was, with his ex in a place that he once wanted to be his home, feeling like he’d stumbled back into his old elementary school, looking at tiny chairs and tables in amazement as he finally realized that this wasn’t his home anymore.

At least on the ride home, Kurt had seemed calmer, even though he’d excused himself to unpack right after they arrived. Blaine was pretty sure that meant he was upstairs, allowing himself some privacy to cry, before facing his ex again. He was also very on board with pretending he didn’t know that. Besides, he could use some time to think himself. Yes, he was still here because they still needed to have a conversation, but he felt a bit uneasy since the conversation he’d had with Burt.

Technically, Blaine knew there wasn’t an actual need to apologize to someone for divorcing their son. He’d still felt like he should, also for not reaching out or explaining himself, even though he knew that would have been beyond awkward. But as soon as Blaine had started trying to apologize, Burt had dismissed it.

_“Don’t even start to apologize. That’s between the two of you, and nobody can really understand a relationship without living it. You did what you needed to do, and that’s fine, kid. I told you once, if things are meant to be, they’ll work out. So don’ beat yourself up.”_

The conversation had stopped there when the nurse had checked in. Still, the words stayed in his mind. He wasn’t sure what Burt had meant. Maybe that he’d been wrong that they were meant to be. Or maybe that he still believed it, that this whole divorce was just some sort of roadblock on the way.

Of course, Blaine knew that he had a tendency to read too much into things, and the man had still been full of morphine. It didn’t change that he felt a little uncomfortable.

The coffee was just ready when he heard steps coming down the stairs. Kurt entered the kitchen, and Blaine had to admit he was a bit impressed. He could barely tell he’d been crying. Without mentioning it, he offered one of the cups with coffee.

“Thank you,” Kurt said, nodding as he took it.

“It’s just coffee,” Blaine said with a shrug.

“Not just for the coffee. For being here, helping. I would have understood if you’d just ignored the call, or told me to go to hell.”

“I think we both know I wouldn’t have,” Blaine said, following Kurt over into the living room, where they sat down on the couch, still quite a noticeable space between them.

“I was a bit surprised you’d call me,” Blaine said once they sat down. “Given our situation… and we weren’t exactly talking before.”

“I know… it’s just… Rachel is in Japan at the moment, on her honeymoon. And when Carol called… I was just devastated. I didn’t know if he’d survive, I wasn’t even sure he’d still be there by the time I managed to come back home. I needed to talk to someone. And the truth is… I wanted to call you. I mean, not just then. I’ve been wanting to call you for the last few days, knew that I should, and I kept talking myself out of it. The idea was already so present in my mind, so then I just did. Like on instinct.”

“Um… okay?” Blaine frowned, not quite sure what to do with this piece of information. “But why?”

Kurt looked to his hands, and that made him pay more attention than anything. He was clearly uncomfortable, almost guilty.

“Something happened,” he said eventually. “That made me think. A lot. About how things went with us… how I didn’t listen, didn’t pay attention… a lot of mistakes I’ve made. And that I really wasn’t fair.”

Blaine sat up straighter now, fixing Kurt with an inquisitive look. “What happened?”

Kurt sighed, and it couldn’t be more obvious that he didn’t really want to talk about this. But he obviously felt like he had to, so he continued. “You might hear about it soon enough anyway… I heard it a few days ago from Jackie. Lately, she’d been making progress with sponsors for Dracula, and I had just convinced her to trust me with the lead, it was all looking great…”

Blaine had to force himself to still listen, even though just the mention of Jackie made him want to shut off. He was done with downplaying how hurt he’d been that Kurt still chose to work with her, despite her partner Glenn’s behavior.

“It was all looking so good, but then she called me, it’s going to be stalled indefinitely. They’re having a lot of legal troubles, and she’s putting it on ice until she has an idea on how bad the fallout will be. And it could be… disastrous, really. They’re in legal trouble. Well… Glenn is. Someone’s pressing charges.”

“For what, sexual harassment?” Blaine asked. It came out a bit harsher than intended, but he would not apologize for this.

He’d expected Kurt to bristle, dismiss it again. Instead, he seemed to shrink into himself, and when he spoke again, he wouldn’t meet Blaine’s eye.

“Attempted assault.”

Blaine froze, and just stared at him. The first thing he was completely aware of again was the cup in his hand, and how precarious his hold on it was becoming. Quickly, he put it down, before turning fully towards Kurt. All he could manage to say was a raspy “What?”, but his mind started racing.

“He apparently got really interested in someone Jackie had been considering for Jonathan Harker,” Kurt continued. “She’d rather go with a different applicant, and it was almost a done deal, but then Glenn started coming on to the first guy, and apparently tried to…”

“Blackmail him?” Blaine asked. And wasn’t that eerily familiar.

Kurt nodded, still not meeting his eye. “He got rejected, except… he really didn’t take it well. Luckily, the guy’s roommate was home, and he stopped things before… well, you know. It’s just awful all around. They went to the police – and good thing they did, of course…”

“What, now you believe it?” Blaine asked. This was definitely harsh, but he had to interrupt now, would not be able to stand if the conversation was somehow turned around to how awful this would be for the production company. Not when the real story was someone getting _assaulted_. He already felt bad enough when he recognized his own train of thought.

_That could have been me…_

He remembered, of course. He hadn’t been scared, not really, but he’d felt awful, cheap, humiliated. He could taste the bile in his throat, could still recall Kurt’s voice and that horrible feeling of not knowing whether his husband hadn’t believed him or hadn’t cared. He suddenly wished he wasn’t here, the yearning for the warmth of Los Angeles, of Sebastian, surging up like a flash.

This really wasn’t home anymore.

But finally, Kurt was looking up at him, and for once, his face was full of remorse. No hidden blame, no defensive stance, ready to lash out. Just pain, and sadness and remorse.

“I’m sorry, Blaine. I should have listened to you, and I should have taken it more seriously. When I heard… I kept thinking back to when you told me, and how uncomfortable you were with the production and Dorian Gray and everything… and I look back, and I just don’t understand why I didn’t pay more attention. I’ve been trying for days to understand why I acted the way I did. And all I can come up with are excuses, and you deserve better than that. My best guess… You don’t know what it was like, back then, before Jackie. There were so many auditions, and nothing went anywhere. I started to doubt I’d ever make it. It’s like I formed my whole life in order to be on Broadway, I was breathing it from the first note of a musical I ever heard, and ‘d finally gotten out, finally got something that worked out for me with NYADA… and then, it was like I ran into a wall. And when I looked around, it felt like I was the only one struggling. Rachel had just finished Les Mis. You got an Off-Broadway show. And I thought… what if it doesn’t happen? What if I put all this energy into a career that will never take off? And then, Jackie appeared, with a chance, and a vision, and faith in me… and for the first time something seemed to work out. So… I kind of didn’t want it to be true. Even if you were the one telling me. So I told myself, it must have been a misunderstanding, or that you were exaggerating, and the longer I worked with Jackie, the easier it was to pretend nothing was wrong. That worked really well, until I heard about the charges, and suddenly, I couldn’t ignore it anymore. Not that any of this would ever be a justification. I… I was wrong, and I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you. I’ve been thinking so much about this, I’ve really wanted to call you… to tell you… I just didn’t know how you’d react. But I’m sorry.”

Blaine leaned back against the couch pillows. It was a rare event, Kurt apologizing. He wondered how long he’d waited to hear one, how often he’d desperately needed one. But now, that he had it… he wasn’t sure if it really meant much. No matter how violently fresh the memory seemed, it was long ago. He hadn’t seen Glenn since that one glimpse at the airport, and back then his mind had been too occupied with Sebastian and what he now realized was his last effort to make his marriage work.

Kurt was still looking at him, the sheen of tears over his eyes, and he found himself sighing.

“Thank you for the apology,” Blaine said eventually. “And for the explanation. I… really can’t say that I can relate to your reasons. But… I appreciate you trying.”

He could tell it wasn’t quite what Kurt had hoped for, but probably also not his worst fear. Either way, it was the best he could do.

“Well,” Kurt said finally, “it took much too long.”

“It’s okay,” Blaine replied. Maybe not completely okay, but really, at this point, did it matter?

Kurt, though, was still looking at him like that. “It’s not, not really. And it’s not even the only thing. Once I understood just how badly I screwed up with the whole Glenn thing, I thought back over the last few years… all the other things I screwed up, by not listening to you, by putting what I wanted first and pushing you aside, taking you for granted… I really wasn’t what you deserved, or what I promised to you. I forgot the important parts, even though I’d been so sure I wouldn’t fall into the same traps again. And now, I’m just where I was almost five years ago. Actually, it’s kind of a Worst Hits of my life. I lost you, my dad is sick, the career I put before everything is basically dead in the water right now…

“It’s not that bad,” Blaine said. “Your dad is going to be fine. There’ll be other production companies. Starting again is scary, but it’s not impossible. Take it from me… if I can do it, then so can you.”

“Maybe I don’t want to,” Kurt said. Some of the pain had disappeared, replaced by termination.

“What do you mean?” Blaine asked, feeling the frown form on his face.

“I’ve made tons of mistakes. But this… this might be the worst of them all. I don’t believe we’ve reached the end. I still think we can work things out. Blaine… let’s call off the divorce. Let’s talk, and figure out what went wrong. I want to fix our marriage.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on tumblr as imogenlefay


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, were you looking for a chapter? Sorry, you've accidentally walked into an info-dump about why a certain relationship doesn't work, the nice version (TM).  
> That aside, I just want to say, I was so happy about last chapter's comments, and how you all seem willing to put some faith in Blaine, he says thanks for the vote of confidence. (So do I)
> 
> Yeah, so... this is almost it. There'll be an epilogue coming very soon, and after that, we'll let the boys be for a while. At least in this verse, because I honestly have to get a few other stories out of my head first, with a new multi-chapter fic coming probably some time in January, and who knows what random Christmas time inspiration strikes in the meantime.

* * *

Growing up with Cooper as a brother meant that Blaine had gotten used to bizarre at a very early age. Everything at McKinley had taught him to roll with the punches, no matter how unexpected and just straight up weird they were.

Nothing had prepared him for this.

And still, this was reality. Somehow, he really was here, in a house he’d once thought of as home more than anything, with the man he used to think would be his life, looking at him completely serious, painfully earnest… and he felt like he was on a prank show.

It took him too long until he finally managed to say something.

“I’m sorry… what?”

He tried to make sense of it. He thought he could understand it from Kurt’s point of view, in some way. This all had to be so familiar, just like he said, the worst things happening – his father’s heart, being alone, worries about his career… it made sense to reach out to something familiar. But where had he gotten the idea that Blaine would be receptive? His mind raced through the whole day, trying to find anything in his behavior that could have invited this. There had to be something, why else would Kurt ask that? Even Sebastian had been worried…

“Where’s this even coming from?” Blaine asked.

“I told you, I’ve been thinking so much. And the truth is, I miss you. I was so angry at you at first, for walking out, and then I was numb for the longest time. And then it was just… moments. Like I heard about a great spot for brunch, and I realized I couldn’t ask you to try it out. Or I get invited somewhere, and they haven’t heard yet and ask if you’re coming. And even if something happens… like finally getting the role I want, or just something random, and I want to tell you, and you’re not there… That’s what you meant, wasn’t it? The small moments, the everyday. And I miss it, more than you can imagine.”

“Kurt… we weren’t working,” Blaine said softly. “Especially in the everyday moments.”

“I know, and I’ve been thinking so hard on what I can do to fix it. I know I have to listen to you more, and you have to open up more. It’s about communication. But Blaine… if we could fix that…” He had to see something in Blaine’s face, some sort of discouragement, because his face pinched, despair settling in. “It can’t let it end like this. Not all of a sudden, not after everything we’ve been through together. We deserve better, Blaine.”

And that, finally, was something Blaine understood.

Slowly he nodded, and reached out to take Kurt’s hand.

“Okay, Kurt… I need you to listen now. And this might be hard, because I’m not going to tell you something you like to hear. But this is really important.”

Kurt nodded, meeting his gaze head on. It was enough to tell Blaine that he was ignoring the part where he wouldn’t like what was coming next. But that was okay, as long as he listened.

“The thing you have to understand… it wasn’t sudden. Not for me. By the time I left, I’d been thinking about it for… months, really. I can’t even tell you how long, because it took me a while to realize it, but it must have been some time after Nonna’s funeral. I was thinking all the time… this isn’t working, what am I even doing? And it might seem unfair to you, because I didn’t tell you, and maybe that means I never gave you the chance to change my mind. Or maybe that was the problem, that you couldn’t even see I was miserable. The point is, I was waiting for the reason to walk out. Maybe that’s why it’s so hard for you to come to terms with our split, because you didn’t have to time to get used to the thought. But it wasn’t sudden. It was coming a long time.”

Kurt blinked, and there was just a sheen of moisture over his eyes. Blaine had to look away for a moment. He wasn’t sure whether he could deal with tears right now.

“I don’t understand,” Kurt said, “we were… I mean, I know not everything was fine, but… I never would have thought you were this unhappy?”

“I mean… you didn’t know _you_ were unhappy,” Blaine said.

Kurt stared at him. “What? What are you talking about?”

“I overheard you talking to Rachel once,” Blaine said. “We had some… discussion, maybe about Nonna’s money, I’m not sure, and I walked out. But I forgot my keys, so I came back and I heard you. You said some things, about how hard it was to live with me, how unhappy you were comparing our careers, our lives… everything. You called it life, but… you sounded so bitter, so unhappy… Look, I’m not trying to blame you here. I understand you’re upset, and I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry for that. But the truth is that this wasn’t working for either of us. It was just a bit more apparent for me, maybe because it was hurting me more.”

Kurt was looking at him, as if he was talking in tongues, as if none of what Blaine was saying made any sense. For a moment, Blaine wondered if he could make him see. Either way, he’d have to try.

“Kurt, the truth is… you never needed me the way I needed you. Or, well, maybe in the beginning you did. But mostly, you’re fine on your own. You learned to protect yourself and rely on nobody else. Which is good to keep you safe, but that makes it really hard to get close to you. And I thought I was… but when it comes down to it, you didn’t need me. Half the time it felt like you didn’t even want me there. And I… I’m different from you. I need to be needed, and wanted. I felt like whether I’m there or not, ultimately it doesn’t really make a difference to you. When we were together… life became your story, that I just happened to appear in – not something we shared. And I thought I could live like that, but… it was lonely. Even when we were together. And it wasn’t enough.”

“How can you even say that?” Kurt asked, and damn, he really looked close to tears now. “I’m miserable without you. I miss you. Just because you feel like I didn’t need you… just because I’m not the most affectionate person… it doesn’t mean I don’t want you there.”

“That’s what I felt like,” Blaine replied.

“Why wouldn’t you ever tell me?”

Blaine sighed, shaking his head. “I tried, Kurt. But even then, I never felt like you were listening. So I tried to turn myself into something you want… but I ended up as someone you didn’t even like most of the time. Hell, I didn’t like myself when it came to that… that’s why we broke up before, wasn’t it? So when we tried again, when we got married, I promised myself to _make_ you listen. But I couldn’t do it. Just thinking about it, I got so anxious that whenever I told you something, I’d put in so many qualifiers, because I was so scared to upset you, or offend you, or hurt you… And then it came out so weak that of course you’d brush it off. Eventually, I couldn’t see the point. So I stopped sharing that with you, the parts where I was insecure, or afraid. Even the things that were good, when I couldn’t be sure you’d be happy for me. I turned to other people for that.”

“Sebastian,” Kurt said, and even though there was still bitterness in there, it didn’t sound nearly as angry as it had on other occasions.

“Yes, Sebastian,” Blaine said softly. “But the point is, I didn’t trust you with all of me. That’s not something you come back from.”

When Kurt met his eyes again, there was a new determination in his face. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way,” he said. “But… I’m here. I’m ready to listen now. And I know it might be hard, and I’ll have to remind myself again and again to do it… but I’m willing to fix it. How could I do that before, when I didn’t even know something was wrong?”

Blaine sighed, running a hand through his hair. “That’s the problem, you didn’t see. And that’s not something you can just fix, that’s something fundamental. We need different things. You can’t give me what I need, and I can’t be what you want me to be. I’ve tried, for years. It made me miserable, and… I’m tired of it. I want to be happy, Kurt. I’ve finally understood that you and I can’t do that for each other. Not anymore, not in a long time.”

He leant back against the pillows and allowed himself a moment to close his eyes. He felt tired, absolutely exhausted, and he had no idea how long this conversation would go on.

When he opened his eyes again, the first tears had fallen.

“I was never happier than I was with you,” Kurt said, his voice close to breaking. “I love you.”

“I’m sorry,” Blaine said softly, “but just because you were more miserable without me, doesn’t mean that you were happy before. And the truth is… I don’t love you anymore.”

A suppressed sob, but Blaine realized his resolve didn’t falter. It wasn’t that he didn’t feel sorry for Kurt, but really, there was nothing he could to help. He couldn’t be what Kurt needed him to be, and really, he didn’t want to anymore. It felt like he spent enough time of his life on something that he knew wasn’t working. He was so ready to let this go… while Kurt seemed to be determined to hold on against any reason. Why, though, when he hadn’t been happy either?

And then, suddenly, Blaine understood. It was so obvious, he was surprised he hadn’t seen it before.

“You don’t want to let go, do you?” he asked. “That’s what this is about… the whole fighting about Nonna’s inheritance. You don’t really care about the money, do you? You’re just not ready to let go of our marriage, and this feels like something you can hold onto?”

Kurt stared at him, but he looked utterly caught. If Blaine had had any doubts earlier, they were removed by this expression alone.

“Kurt, listen” he said, “even if we’re still married on paper… it’s just that, on paper. It doesn’t mean anything, if we’re not living it.”

Even as he said the words, Blaine could feel the realization sneaking up on him, like goosebumps rising up his necks, making the hair at the back of his neck stand up.

It meant nothing. But had he been any better than Kurt in that regard? He, too, had held onto it, like their divorce not being finalized meant anything emotionally. He might even be worse than Kurt, holding on something that he’d understood made him miserable, like it had any right to impact his life further than it already had.

“You treat this marriage like a life raft,” he said, even as the words echoed inside his own mind, even more relevant. “It’s become an anchor. It won’t keep you afloat, it’ll just drag you down. Because you and me… we’re over, Kurt. But by focusing on us, on something we never really had… it will just stop you from finding someone that could actually make you happy, who you could make happy in return.”

There were still tears rolling down Kurt’s face, but he looked more focused, as if he was finally listening. “Is it really this easy for you?” he asked.

“It wasn’t, not for a long time,” Blaine said. “But I’ve moved on, and every step gets easier. And the truth is… I’m happier in this life than I’ve been in a long time.”

“With Sebastian,” Kurt said, his voice surprisingly soft. There was a pause, and then, he final asked the question that Blaine should have known would come sooner or later. “Do you love him?”

The Yes was in his mind so fast, it almost knocked the breath out of him. Of course, this would be the moment he finally understood. It was almost too ridiculous, and if the situation was just a bit different, he would have laughed out loud. He tested the word, the thought, the feeling in his mind.

He loved Sebastian.

It filled him with warmth, and he had to violently push own against the instinct to smile. Of course, it was love. It had seemed too fast, too soon, but really, it had been building up for so long. He’d expected some moment, some epiphany, but really… Sebastian wasn’t like that. Sebastian was inside his life, for every moment, even the unremarkable ones, always there to catch and carry him. It wasn’t some dramatic moment. It was as natural as breathing.

“Well?” Kurt asked.

Blaine sighed, then looked up at his ex. It had taken him so long to get there, he could keep it inside for just a bit longer. Because this moment wasn’t for Kurt. Speaking the words for the first time… that was a moment that belonged to Sebastian.

“Either way, it won’t make a difference to you,” Blaine said. “Forget about him, and about me. You’ll have to find your own happiness.”

“I don’t know how,” Kurt said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“You’ll figure it out,” Blaine said. “Be with your family. Find yourself. You will be okay.” He hesitated a moment, but the truth was, he had said everything there was to be said. His presence here couldn’t help anymore. So with a sigh, he stood up. He stepped closer, and let a hand rest on Kurt’s cheek, wiping away the last tear rolling down. “Goodbye, Kurt.”

Without another look back, he turned away, and left.

* * *

Standing at the airport, Sebastian felt like a criminal standing trial, waiting for the judges to return with the verdict. A part of him wanted to curse Cooper, who conveniently was too busy to pick his brother up at the airport. And it wasn’t that Sebastian didn’t want to see Blaine, of course not. He just didn’t know what to expect.

Maybe the worst thing was that he knew Blaine, always wearing his heart on his sleeve. One look would be enough to tell Sebastian what had happened in Ohio, and if it was bad… well, then that would be a spectacularly awkward car ride.

He closed his eyes and tried to calm his paranoia. Blaine’s voice wafted through his memory. _“I’m coming home, to you”_ , and _“Soon.”_ It did help, even if only a little.

There was movement, and Sebastian opened his eyes again. The first travelers appeared, dragging suitcases behind them. There were definitely some reunions. And then, finally, there was Blaine. His eyes were darting around, and it was almost insanely fast that they fell on Sebastian. Even on the distance, he could see tension falling of Blaine’s shoulders, and a smile forming on his face as he came closer.

A moment later, Blaine stopped right in front of him, just looking at him as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing – just a moment, before he put his arms around Sebastian, pulling him into an embrace so close, there wasn’t a breath of air between them. Sebastian put his arms around him, holding him just as close, and for a moment allowed himself just to breathe in Blaine, the soft curls of his hair almost tickling, but how could he let go now, when Blaine was here, so close and warm…

“I’m home,” Blaine breathed against his ear.

Sebastian didn’t answer, just pulled him closer. This was what hope felt like, and he should know better than to trust hope, and day-dreams, but still…

Eventually, Blaine moved to step back, still smiling up at Sebastian in a way he couldn’t quite name. Strangely enough, the first word he could think of, was serene. He wasn’t quite sure what that meant.

He cleared his throat, hoping it didn’t sound too awkward. “Cooper couldn’t make it,” he said, “I think he’s out with Penny, so… that seems to be happening.”

“I guess she could do worse,” Blaine said with a shrug, “but we’ll see where it goes.” He didn’t seem to mind at all that his brother hadn’t come to pick him up, more like he had absolutely expected this.

They didn’t talk much during the car ride, the radio filling the silence between them. But Sebastian found himself more than once glancing towards the man beside him, who was looking outside, and occasionally to him, like he was seeing everything for the first time. It reminded Sebastian so much of when he’d picked Blaine up after leaving New York. But back then, Blaine had seemed cautious, lost, looking around as if he wasn’t quite sure about this new home he was going to. Now, he was looking at everything with… joy, happiness, as if he was appreciating it all in a new way.

Sebastian was gripped by a sudden fear. Was it appreciation – or was this some way of saying goodbye?

“So… how’s LA been?” Blaine asked, piercing his train of thoughts. The smile on his face was small, and still blinding.

Sebastian quickly had to look away, focus his eyes on the road. “Cloudy,” he said, the first word he could think of.

He could feel Blaine’s eyes on him, looking at him in surprise for a moment, before he turned his gaze towards the radio, a soft chuckle leaving his mouth. Before Sebastian could ask what was so funny, he realized the song that was playing.

_Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone…_

Before he could say anything, Blaine’s hand was sliding into his, and he couldn’t be bothered.

This had to be a good sign. Blaine might be oblivious sometimes, but he wasn’t cruel. Still, it felt like something had changed.

They arrived at the Andersons’ apartment soon after. Sebastian busied himself making coffee, while Blaine put the suitcase into his room. As the water boiled, Sebastian wondered how long the unpacking would take, but after just a moment, Blaine was back with him, setting up milk for foam.

“Won’t you unpack?”

“Later,” Blaine said with a dismissive shrug.

As Sebastian poured the coffee, Blaine walked up to one of the cabinets, taking out a bottle filled with an amber liquid

Sebastian stared at the purple and golden label of Courvoisier, then shook his head. “Are you trying to get me drunk?”

“We’ll see,” Blaine said, winking at him. “I just figured I wanted to make you welcome, and I have it on good authority this used to be like mother’s milk to you.”

Sebastian couldn’t help laughing. “You won’t let me live that down, will you?”

“Never,” Blaine replied, before spiking their coffee. “It was kind of cute though, how much you wanted to impress me.”

“Don’t act like it wasn’t working,” Sebastian said. He took the cup Blaine offered and followed him over to the sofa.

“It shouldn’t have,” Blane said, as they sat down. “But yes, somehow it did.”

There was a moment of silence as they sipped their coffee. There was something comforting about the familiar taste, but it didn’t quite help to soothe Sebastian’s nerves. And he knew, it wouldn’t get better until he asked. Really, what was the point in delaying it any further?

“So… how was it?” he asked.

Blaine sighed, moving just a bit to lean his head against Sebastian’s shoulder. “Weird,” he said, “but kind of good? It was strange, being in a place that felt so much like home for so long, and to just realize it’s not the same anymore. With Burt and Carol… they were family, really, and now… I don’t know. But it was good to see them, and to see that there’s still a connection, despite everything. We’re okay. At least I’m not public enemy number one.” He chuckled. “And… maybe I’ve been thinking, about what you said to me. I still think Burt is an amazing father, and he’s been great to me. But maybe I’ve been trying to put him on a pedestal, just as a contrast to my own dad. And… that’s not fair to either of them, or myself for that matter. So, in a way, it made me appreciate my family more, as well. So… that was pretty good.”

Sebastian nodded. It did make sense in a way. But really, they both knew that wasn’t quite the part he was interested in.

“And what about him?”

Blaine sighed deeply, and sat up a bit straighter. Sebastian turned his head, so he could see Blaine’s face. He felt like he needed to take in everything now.

“We talked,” he said, “and it went… okay. I even got an apology, if you can believe it. A real one, not one of those _sorry you feel that way_ types, so… that was nice.”

It was genuine, but there was obviously something he wasn’t telling yet. Sebastian was just about to ask, but Blaine continued before he had to.

“He, um… he asked me to drop the divorce, and give him another chance.”

Sebastian was suddenly very grateful he’d put the cup down on the coffee table. For a few seconds, the only thought he could grasp was _No_.

Not again, he could not do this again. It had been bad enough to stand back and watch Blaine getting more miserable over the years, feel unappreciated, pushed aside. It had been one thing when he knew he and Blaine would never happen. But now, after getting hope, after being so close, to just step back and watch Blaine walk back into a situation that had made him so damn miserable… and all he would be able to do was sit back, and watch, or maybe just hear about it from Cooper, while Blaine let himself get ruined… he couldn’t…

“Sebastian? Are you still with me?” Blaine asked.

“You can’t seriously think about going back,” Sebastian bit out. “This is insane, you have to know that.”

To his surprise, Blaine started laughing softly. “I do know that,” he said, “that’s why I told him no. But thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“What?”

“Kurt and I weren’t working, I understood that months ago, it’s why I walked out. I didn’t take that decision lightly, so while an apology was nice, it doesn’t change anything. And to throw away all I have here… a new career, my friends, Cooper, _you_ … for something that I know will just make me miserable again? I don’t know, sounds like the worst deal ever.”

It sounded so simple, so easy, so logical, and still, Sebastian couldn’t quite wrap his head around it. He’d been so sure… no, so afraid. But Blaine didn’t seem insecure or concerned. Slowly, it all made sense, the way Blaine held himself, the serenity…

“I doubt he was too happy,” Blaine continued, “but I honestly think I managed to make him listen, and maybe even understand why I had to go. It might actually help him move on. Either way… I think this is as much closure as I’m going to get. And honestly, I hope he does, too. But that’s out of my control now.”

“And the divorce?” Sebastian asked.

“I get it now, why he tried to hold on. I can’t tell if he’ll concede, about the inheritance, but honestly… it’s not that essential. I understood something now. I also need to let go. I mean, not literally. Figuratively. I still want to keep Nonna’s money, and I’ll let Bev do her thing, and hope for the best. But the thing is… I’ve been turning this into such a big issue, this weight that binds me to my old life. But really, it doesn’t. Just because the divorce isn’t finished, doesn’t mean my marriage actually still exists. It’s over, the rest is just a matter of time. So maybe I shouldn’t focus on what the paper says. What matters is the reality of how I feel.”

Sebastian hesitated, not sure what answer he would get. But he could not let it go. Not when he was so close to what he really needed to know. “What do you feel?” he asked eventually.

Blaine stopped, and now, for once, there was a hint of insecurity. He took a visibly deep breath, and then he turned until they were completely face to face. Slowly, he raised a hand, and brought it to Sebastian’s cheek, softly stroking over the skin. The gesture was intimate, in a way that made Sebastian’s pulse speed up. Blaine’s eyes found his, sparkling amber, so full of emotion they could overflow.

He took another breath, as Sebastian held his, and then he spoke.

“Sebastian… I love you.”

And just like that, he froze.

Because… he wasn’t even sure why he was so shocked. Blaine had told him they were going somewhere, they were a when, not an if, and of course that’s what it meant, but… on some level, he hadn’t believed it. No matter how much he’d wanted it – maybe because of that – he’d been sure it couldn’t possibly happen, and now…

Oh.

He barely noticed how Blaine had continued talking, only started to discern words a few seconds into the sentence.

“…still kind of murky, legally especially, but… I’m sure. I don’t want to wait any longer. I want to be with you. But… I get this is a bit much, maybe a bit fast, and… if it’s too soon, if you want to wait longer, that’s okay. We’ve got all the time in the world, and I’ll still be here when you’re ready. We can wait…”

Finally, his brain started again, and he pulled Blaine towards him, crashing their lips together before he could finish that insane sentence. The kiss was clumsy, their teeth knocking together, and he could feel Blaine laugh against his lips, before he deepened the kiss, and this, finally, was what he’d been wishing for.

He pulled back eventually, when the need for air was too much. Blaine gasped for breath, just as affected as he was, but his smile was wide, and free.

“I love you too,” Sebastian said, surprised at how rough his voice sounded.

Blaine laughed softly, before kissing him again, soft and sweet, without the earlier rush.

“Good,” he said, “you had me worried there for a second.”

Sebastian couldn’t stop grinning, so wide his face started to hurt, and usually that would be enough for him to rethink this, but Blaine was right here, in his arms, half in his lap, proclaiming his intention to stay there, and… he hadn’t known how much he’d needed this, how weary he’d become with hopelessness, until it lifted.

And now…

“Is this real?” Sebastian asked. It came out a bit shakier than he would have wanted, and he already wondered how long he’d feel this vulnerable around Blaine. Maybe it would never go away. But it was hard to mind when he had Blaine right here in his arms, giving him that look again, the one he’d seen shadows of for so long. But now there was no reservation, nothing concealing just how blinding it was – Blaine watching him, his eyes full of emotion, sparkling, and smiling, relaxed… _happy_ …

Love.

Who’d have thought it would be this simple in the end?

“It’s real,” Blaine said, and kissed him again, and again, until words didn’t matter anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on tumblr as imogenlefay, come say hi or just check on what I'm working on atm


	12. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, guys! I think the important things have been said. So I just want to once more say thank you for everyone who's read this story, left kudos, and especially to all the lovely comments I got, how often you guys made my day.   
> I think we're leaving our boys in a pretty good place, but as I said, I'll revisit this verse once more - several months down the line, other stories coming first - so we can see how Seblaine actually work as a couple. I hope I'll see you then (and in other stories until then), and once again, thank you!  
> And if you want to say hi, or just see what I'm currently working on, come visit on tumblr, I'm there as imogenleffay.

* * *

Looking out from their balcony, Blaine couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so at peace. The LA sun was shining down on them, already promising a warm day even though it was barely nine. Honestly, it was a miracle that Cooper was even up at this time. But with a look to his side where Penny was lounging in a chair, Blaine figured some motivations were stronger than others.

“Ladies – and brother dearest – help yourselves.”

Cooper just walked out on the balcony, balancing a tray of mimosa glasses. He offered one to Penny first with a wink, before bringing them over to where Mercedes and Marley were just looking over sketches for dresses, that even Blaine could tell looked absolutely stunning.

“What are those for?” he asked, as he stole a glass from the tray.

“Designs for my new music video,” Mercedes said. “Sebastian’s sister sent them to me. Aren’t they gorgeous?”

Before he could answer, there was a ring at the door.

“Be right back,” Blaine said quickly, rushing back in under knowing looks.

Just as he expected, Sebastian was on the other side of the door, a box with banana bread in his hand that he just so managed to hold onto as Blaine pulled him into a kiss.

“Someone’s eager,” Sebastian said against his lips, but his wide smile said everything.

“Don’t get any ideas, Mister, we have a full house,” Blaine replied, but kissed him again, just because he could. “And also good news.”

“Is that so?” Sebastian asked.

Blaine hummed against his lips, before stepping back. His hand found Sebastian’s, and he pulled him through the apartment over to the balcony.

“Finally, there he is!” Cooper said. “Come out here, sit down, we want to hear the big announcement.”

“What announcement?” Sebastian asked, putting the banana bread down on the bar table.

Blaine laughed, but he couldn’t help the blush rising on his face as he looked down. “It’s not that big,” he said. “Just… say, Sebastian… what do you do with a BA in English?”

Sebastian frowned. “You don’t _have_ a BA in English,” he said. “Actually… what do you have?”

“You don’t know?” Blaine asked, his eyes widening in exaggerated outrage. “What kind of boyfriend are you?”

“Oh, please,” Sebastian said, picking up on his mood and smirking, “we both know I excel on the more practical aspects.”

“Clearly not on the lyrical side,” Blaine said. “I got Avenue Q. I’ll play Princeton.”

“Seriously?” Sebastian asked. “Not even taking a break… told you, you’re going to take this city by storm.”

“This is amazing, congratulations!” Marley said, her smile wide as she hugged him. “You really arrived here, huh?”

“Looks like it,” Blaine said.

“Is your brother okay?” Mercedes asked, looking to where Cooper was standing at the edge of the balcony, melodramatically looking into nothing.

“Oh, ignore him,” Penny said, shaking her head with a fond smile even as she rolled her eyes.

Dramatically, Cooper turned around, throwing his hand up to point at Blaine. “I can’t believe you’re having a sex scene with my girlfriend!”

Blaine rolled his eyes, turning into Sebastian’s embrace. “Technically, our puppets will have a sex scene, and if you’re worried about that, I’m sure we’ll manage to find you a good therapist.”

“I’d love that,” Cooper said, putting his hand down. “Can you imagine, like ten or fifteen years down the line, when my career has a lull, the therapist can publish a scandalous tell-all book and put me back on the map. Also, I’m stealing your Gap Attack story for that, that’s like _gold_.”

Mercedes shook her head. “The more he talks, the more I’m starting to understand you, Blaine Warbler.”

“Thanks, I’ve been thinking of legally changing that, to create more distance,” Blaine said. “Might even be a better stage name, to be honest… I’m kidding,” he added, when he saw Cooper’s outraged gasp. “I know how important the whole Anderson brother legacy is for you.”

“Too bad,” Sebastian said, “just think, we probably could have held a renaming ceremony at Dalton… if they ever finish rebuilding…”

“With the speed that’s going, maybe they’ll be done in time for you to get married there,” Cooper said.

Blaine rolled his eyes. “Told you, no marriage talk for at least the next three years,” he said.

“That was kind of my point,” Cooper said. “What’s taking them so long?”

“Sam actually mentioned something about this,” Mercedes chimed in, “apparently some really rare type of lizard was found there and it stalled everything. Except that type of lizard is actually local to Madagascar or something. And guess who just spent her vacation there? Sue Sylvester.”

“Why would she have a problem with Dalton?” Blaine asked.

“I mean… has she ever needed reasons for anything?” Marley said. “She’s… confusing, to say the least.”

“So… you and Sam talking a lot?” Blaine asked, barely even trying to sound subtle.

“Well… a lot more,” Mercedes said, and when she looked down, there was an almost bashful smile on her face. “We’ll see each other on Thanksgiving the latest, and he might be coming to visit during Christmas break. So… we’ll see.”

Blaine would have loved to pry further, but he had a feeling in this he needed to give his friends the space to figure things out for themselves. He was hit by a wave of nostalgia when he wondered how his life would have gone if he’d gotten that courtesy. It didn’t matter though. Maybe he took some detours, but he was pretty happy with where he’d arrived.

The ringing of his phone distracted him. He froze for a moment, when he saw who was calling.

“What is it?” Sebastian asked, a tiny frown on his face.

“It’s Bev,” Blaine said. “Excuse me for a moment.” He quickly walked inside as he answered the phone.

The conversation was short, very matter of fact in a way he’d gotten used to from his lawyer. Barely five minutes, later, he hung up, and for a moment he felt disoriented. He wasn’t sure what he felt, certainly hadn’t expected this. The balcony door opened behind him, and he could hear steps coming closer. When he turned, he wasn’t surprised to see Sebastian there.

“Is it bad?” he asked.

Blaine closed his eyes an exhaled, consciously. When he looked up again, he could feel the smile slowly spreading over his face.

“It’s good,” he said. “She just had another negotiation with Kurt’s lawyer, and… he’s conceding. He confirms the inheritance was never considered a marital asset and won’t claim any of it. That was the last point of contention, so now it’s really only a formality.”

Sebastian pulled him close and kissed him. “Finally,” he muttered against Blaine’s lips.

Blaine laughed, embracing Sebastian and finally, the numbness disappeared, made way to relief.

“It’s really over, isn’t it?” he asked.

“It’s just beginning,” Sebastian replied. “A whole new life…”

“It feels weird,” Blaine said. “Like… it should feel monumental, but it kind of doesn’t. Maybe that comes when the divorce is finalized. Or maybe I already had that moment.” He shook his head. “Sorry, I’m being dumb.”

“You’re not,” Sebastian said softly, stroking his hair. “And hey, maybe you’ll have another moment when it’s finalized, or maybe it hits you some time down the road… we’ll deal with it either way. You’ll be okay.”

“No,” Blaine replied. This, he was absolutely sure of. He leaned back just a little and tipped his head up, so their eyes met. He tried to memorize this, to never forget this moment, this image – Sebastian’s sparkling green eyes, the freckles on his tan skin, the slight crease in his eyebrow that showed he wasn’t quite sure what Blaine meant but was charmed anyway.

“Not just okay,” Blaine said softly. “I’m happy.”

Sebastian’s eyes widened, and the smile breaking out on his face was blinding. When he pulled Blaine into another kiss, just as searing, it felt like he finally was right where he belonged.

Home.

* * *


End file.
